AIBU

[mylittlefidget]

We have had a very good nanny for the last 5 years. She travels about 10 miles to work for us for 2 days a week.
She will look after our three children (5,3, and 1) plus her slightly older kids (8 and 12) for 2 days a week over the summer. However, she likes going on "days out" with the kids to places which are 10 or 20 miles away. I really, really hate the kids going on car journeys with anybody, and in fact my husband rarely takes them out on his own in the car for this reason. We got a fairly big expenses bill from her mid june because she hadn't done the expenses for a while. I said to her at the time to please watch the mileage because this was by far the largest part of the bill. She replied that she only spent about 10 pounds a week extra. However, that's over 20 miles a week on average!. We live in a semi rural area, and within a 5 mile radius there are a couple of toddler groups, soft play, several play grounds, 2 farms (which the kids have expensive season tickets for), and a water play area.
AIBU to expect that she takes the kids to somewhere closeby?
Part of the problem may be that her social network and the toddler groups she knows are in her area ie over 10 miles away, and also that her kids may want to do something more exciting than the local stuff.
I don't really mind spending an extra 10pounds a week but I hate the kids clocking up quite so much mileage.
We'll have a chat this week but I predict she'll be quite unhappy with my suggestion to stay closeby. AIBU?
Thanks for any replies in advance :)

YANBU.

Children of 5, 3 and 1 don't need expensive trips out. They can have endless fun in the local park with some bubbles, a ball, a picnic, singing, looking for creepy crawlies, playing make-believe, playing in the playground, collecting sticks/stones/pine cones, running around, playing games etc.

I do all of the above with my mindees and they love it. Sometimes they just like to lie on my rug and talk to me about anything and everything... relaxing like that is lovely for kids in the holidays.

People often say to me 'ooh, it must be so expensive to look after several kids in the holidays'. In fact, it costs peanuts. Little kids really don't need much in material terms.

As for her kids, she's lucky to be able to bring them with her, so they'll need to entertain themselves - football, tennis, reading, playing with the 5yo etc. IMHO

OP, do you pay your nanny less on days she has her kids with her?

No, she gets paid the same, whether her kids are there or not.
I spend little money when the kids are with me, we tend to play at home/ see friends / go to local playparks and they seem happy with that.

I had exactly the same thought about the annual passes-do they cover her and her children? Otherwise she may be faced with paying through the nose for day tickets. Also, toddler groups won't generally accept older children (even 5yo) so may well not be suitable in the holidays (assuming they still run, which many do not) I would happily take my children on a 30 mile round trip to see something that would make them happy, and like LuckyLopez would perhaps not agree to take on children whose parents imposed arbitrary restrictions, but then I don't charge them mileage. I certainly spend more than £10 a week (for each child) on fuel and entrance fees and don't think I'm particularly extravagant. I appreciate you are the employer (and you do seem to have already decided YANBU) but were these restrictions and conditions fully agreed when you took her on? If so, you just need to remind her what you agreed.

We have paid for day passes for our nanny.
Mindrjinks, I have listened to all the suggestions here and I have made it clear that I need to adjust my expectations so I don't think it's fair to say I've already decided that IANBU. The day tickets for the local farms are well below £10, and while I appreciate that her children need entertaining as well, she is actually bringing them to her place of WORK, without any reduction in our rate or any contribution to mileage. With your reasoning, it sounds like it would be ok for me to pay £20 on mileage for a 40 mile round trip with all the kids when my kids have local attractions they can go to, but it's not reasonable for her to spend £15 on combined entry fees for her children? That doesn't seem fair!!!

I didn't mean that in a snippy way. I meant that you seemed to have been reassured that you were well within your rights to tell her what you do and don't find acceptable. I'm not sure how you infer my "reasoning" suggests anything unfair to either of you, as I have not proposed any particular way forward.

Fwiw, I do think the fact that the rate of pay does not vary when her children are present is a red herring. You both knew (presumably) that the deal was she would have her children with her in the holidays. If the question of changing the rate to account for this wasn't raised initially, it is reasonable to assume that the rate offered/accepted took that into account and was fair for the year as a whole.

apart from all this, are you actually happy with her work?

For two days a week I would set a reasonable allowance and after that it's her choice. If she goes 5 miles each way each day that's 20 miles so no reason not to "save" the allowance for a single further trip.

YANBU about the cost of it all, a little odd about your children being taken on trips. I fail to see why a 5,3 and 1 yr old will get a lot out of trips up to an hour away.