Not comfortable yet with childminder

[Mbalm8]

I've just started a new job and my 16 month old son has been at a new childminder, part time for the last 2 weeks. He is very easy going and so seems perfectly happy with her, although he has real problems getting any sleep while he's there. She is lovely but I just don't feel comfortable yet and I'm not entirely sure why. I don't know how much of my uneasiness is just part of the normal transition or how much if it is based on the cm. Here's a summary.

• She has hired 2 assistants who are there most days but leave before I pick up so I have only met them once in passing. The cm has been sick this week so the assistants have been holding the fort while she sleeps upstairs. The assistants sound competent but they're young (somewhere between 17-19 I think).
• because she has two assistants, she has increased her capacity and it feels very hectic. Her house is a small terrace house and it doesn't feel like there is the capacity for many kids.
• the cm feels a bit disorganised. I still haven't got a signed copy of the contract.
• on his third day she lost his hat. Things happen, I realise that, although I was really found of that hat (lesson learned...don't send him in anything that I care strongly about!) I'm more annoyed that she hasn't made any effort to find it (it was lost on a trip out to a playgroup)
• she doesn't communicate well. This is a personal thing cause communication is important to me. I tend to text her cause I don't like calling when she got her hands full with kids, and on her "off time" I don't want to be pestering her so I think texts are easier. But she's not very quick or consistent about getting back to me (eg. texts checking if she'd found his hat the next day were never responded to)
• she's planning to take extended leave soon and the two assistants will run the show. I knew this when I started but now I don't feel so good about it.
• she doesn't seem to do any structured play (like crafts etc) - it's just free play, but I appreciate she's been sick.
• the kids sleep in the play room in "pods" which is not great for my son and he's barely slept while there so he's exhausted.

I like her and she has outstanding on ofsted, so am I just being pedantic? (please answer nicely, I'm feeling sensitive!)

Why did you select this childminder? You seem very unhappy with her.

I don't have any experience using a cm, but do think you should only use childcare that you feel really confident and happy with. Trust your instincts.

Are the assistants registered as childminders too? I didn't think they could be left in charge for more than a couple of hours.

If her house is small, Ofsted will have taken that into account when setting her numbers of children. There has to be enough floor space per child.

The hat - things get lost, I would let it go and wouldn't expect a CM to go out of their way too much to look for it.

Organisation would really bother me though. She should have given you the contract before you started.

What kind of structured activities are you expecting for a 16 month old?? Remember this is home based care, not a nursery.

What was it about her and her setting that made you start your child there? Are these plus points still there?

I am a cm but I don't have an assistant and keep well below my ratios as that's how I personally prefer to work.

Things like texts - during working hours unless it's an emergency I wouldn't expect a reply. Some days I send parents the odd photo if I get chance but some days I don't get chance to wee or eat never mind reply to non urgent texts.

Do you get a daily diary? That would be a good way of communicating and is pretty standard whether it's a paper one or an eletronic system, most cms use one or the other.

I think - talk to the child minder about your concerns. Ask her about how she can help your DS to get some sleep, are you able to meet and chat with her assistants, and just talk through the things on your mind.

Trust your instincts. I moved mine from one after 3 days. Phone ofsted and find out if there is any warnings or reports on her as she will have to have dbs clearance for those young girls and may not have done it.my instincts were vindicated by that call. The woman had been warned for not having the right car insurance.

If your not happy look elsewhere.

~The hat thing happens.. I would let that go. My DS once through his hat away then cried when I found it.

I think firstly you should of asked to meet assistants. Assistants are only allowed to be left alone for so long. She may of covered herself by been in the house and around...However what numbers of children are you talking about ?

I am also another trust your instinct.

Good questions yourhandinmyhand!
The reason I chose her is she's very personable and that hasn't changed. She genuinely seems to love the kids, and I got a reference stating that from an acquaintance who used to us her. My son seems happy there and maybe that's what I should focus on. I'm not unhappy, just uneasy.
I liked her a lot more than the nurseries I looked at.
Her assistants are registered but I'm not sure what level of training etc they have.
I don't get a daily diary, just a verbal handover. I thought diaries were mostly a nursery thing.
I think my instinct says to wait it out a little but I hope I feel better about it soon cause it's making this transition difficult.

Starlightbright1 - OH dropped off at lunchtime the other day and an assistant had about 8 kids to herself (about 3 sleeping, the rest eating etc). cm was upstairs sick and the other assistant was on a break. That seems a lot to me, but maybe it's fine?

I agree with Tapestry12 - you don't seem happy with this childminder so maybe you should just give notice.
As long as the assistants are not left on their own for more than 2 hours with the children and are within ratio then it should be fine. In order to register as her assistants they would have to have the necessary DBS checks, first aid and safeguarding training etc. and the whole point of having assistants is so the CM will be in ratio with the children in her care. I have a very small flat and I use my open plan living-room/kitchen as my childminding space. I have 5 children that I look after and it can be just as chaotic at times as when I've only looked after 2 children.
You should have received your contract copy before your son started or at least by the end of his first week.
I have a personal possessions policy where I am not held responsible regarding special, fond and expensive items of clothing and toys etc. If it costs a lot or you or your child are very attached to it then it should stay at home because things can get lost and although your CM might have tried to look for it along her travels - her priority is all the children in her care and she must carry on with the daily routine.

It seems like your CM hasn't been totally clear with her policies and how she runs her setting. When children are settling in with me I have specific time slots in the morning and afternoon when it is best for parents to contact me as we do have a very busy day with school, nursery drop off and pick ups, playgroups, crafts activities, meal times and settling for sleep etc. After the settling in period has finished, I advise parents to only text or call if it is absolutely necessary as I write a detailed account of what their child does in the diary and if there is an emergency or their child is unwell I will contact them as soon as possible. I also use a separate mobile for work so if parents contact me out of work hours they won't get a response until the next working day.
Outstanding ofsted grades aren't necessarily everything. You could find a CM with a satisfactory or good grade who you feel more comfortable and happy with and your child could bond better with them!

Think about finding another CM or looking for a nanny as this might be more suitable for you. Make sure you talk to your CM as all these things could be resolved but if not at least you will have given her feedback to enable her to work on improving her setting.

I think most of your concerns are a little pedantic.

Haven't met the assistants - have you asked to meet them? It's your responsibility to meet the people that care for your child. If you want to meet them (which you should) arrange a time when you can call in and meet them. That's on you.

Lost hat - things get lost. How do you know she hasn't made any effort to find it?

Doesn't communicate well - You shouldn't be texting her at all outside of working hours unless it's an emergency and you shouldn't be expecting her to reply to you until the next working day. Texts within the working day will be dealt with as and when she gets time. I don't know why you think she should be quick at getting back to you about a lost hat tbh. The time to ask about the hat is in the morning during drop-off or in the evening during pick-up. A lost hat does not warrant a text.

Structured play - Does he actually need a lot of structured activities at 16 months? I wouldn't have thought so.

The other concerns are valid. If it seems too noisy or busy, you're not comfortable with the assistants, you don't like the sleeping arrangements then look for something that suits you better. She isn't doing anything wrong, but you're not unreasonable to not like it. It's just not a good fit and that's fine.

Agree with OutragedFromLeeds

Second that! Well said Outragedfromleeds??

You're being pedantic.

the whole hat thing is ridiculous. Things get lost. And why did you expect her to answer a text about a lost hat? I have worked for a woman who got on my back for a month about a lost kitten (A MONTH!!). She was so stressful, I lived in fear that her son would get a stain or lose something. A nightmare. I was so happy when I left.

If the assistant are registered and you knew they would be there, what are you complaining about.

what kind of structured play do you expect for a 16 mo?

I am not sure there is a communication problem, you shouldn't be texting/calling her unless there is an emergency (and a lost hat isn't an emergency that requires her to stop any outgoing activity to find it at any price)

you come across as very precious. You should stop looking for reason to be worried, even if it is really hard to leave your son.

You can always ask to meet the assistants and insist that it is really important to get administrative things done in time.

Or if you want all the focus to be on your son and his stuff, maybe choose a nanny?

I lost a mitten, not a kitten That would be horrible

Phew Bunnyhips!

I had a mum who made herself a total pain in the bum about a lost soother. I retraced my steps twice without luck, and I offered to buy a new one, but that wasn't good enough, as it was apparently bought abroad and very special. Than I did find it, and was jolly pleased with myself, but she said it wasn't the one I lost but an identical one that she had lost earlier! I concluded that it wasn't the lost soother that was the real problem, more like lost marbles.

I would be removing my child and reporting her to Ofsted.

Assistants are only allowed to have children on their own for a max of 2 hours a day. It is NOT acceptable for the childminder to be ill in bed and the Assistants to be running the operation on their own all day.

She should have introduced you to the Assistants before you stated with her and you should have given your written permission for your child to be left alone with the Assistants.

It saddens me seeing bad practice like this. Please find a good childminder and report this one to Ofsted.

She can't take extended leave and leave the Assistants running her business that is illegal.

...assuming that they are only registered assistants, if you see what I mean, and not childminders in their own right (acting as her assistants). It would be worth asking if OFSTED rules allow her to do what she is proposing, and see what she says.

However, I do think if that is the case, you should have been told more about the set up and invited to meet the other minders, even if "your" childminder is the boss.

Sorry nanny here not childminder. But I don't think the hat bit is pedantic. Bit of a pain if you do this all the time. But you are new to childcare and didn't realise not to send precious items etc.
I run a brownie group and every week have a parent texting re Flossies hat , bag or coat missing! Often never at brownies in first place :)

i can understand your annoyance with the hat- unfortunately things do get misplaced/put in someone else's bag/dropped at the park, its best just send child in second best items.

my main point to you though OP, is that if you are uncomfortable now, its unlikely to get better.

some of your worries may be genuine concerns to ofsted, however, its difficult to say without all the facts, if the assistants are ofsted registered and have all the relevant qualifications, they can be left for up to two hours. if she was upstairs sick, and left the assistants in charge, its not professional, but not necessarily wrong, if she was in earshot or eyesight, CM could argue that being on the premises was enough to adhere to the rules in this instance.

will there be anyone else with assistants when the Cm is on holiday? if you are certain assistants will be left alone, then you need to report this to ofsted immediately.

the play and sleeping arrangements- did you not talk about this before starting with CM? she isn't dOing anything wrong there, and if she is graded outstanding, then ofsted obviously think her play and sleeping set up is great. have you read her ofsted report? I appreciate this is your first experience of childcare so you may have not known all the ins and outs, but its so important to going and visit lots of settings, and do your research on them!

did you sign a contract? what does it say about notice period and returns of any deposits?

Sorry but the childminder being up stairs in bed and letting the Assistants work down stairs is wrong. Not allowed. The Assistants cannot work alone for more than 2 hours a day and anyway they would have been over their numbers if the cm wasn't working with them.. One of the disadvantages of employing Assistants and increasing your numbers. What to do when you are sick on on holiday. The only answer is to close.

Adp- I may well be wrong, and this CM that the OP is talking about sounds poor anyway, but I think the sickness scenario, whilst it is out of order, I don't think it's technically wrong as CM was in the premise...as I say I may be wrong!

TheEastLondonCM I don't think Ofsted would see it that way. The Assistants should be working with the cm at all times not while a cm is sick upstairs all day. They would also not be in their ratios.