Boss always late!

[sharkteeth]

Hiya! I am looking for some advice. I am a nanny and I work for a family 3 days a week 8am-6pm. In the beginning mum was always home at 5:45-5:50 meaning we could have a chat and handover and I could leave at 6. She was very occasionally late and I know that you can't help being late. She was very apologetic and I honestly didn't mind.

But since the New Year she has been late 2,sometimes 3 days a week. She's a cyclist and sometimes gives the excuse of traffic. Other times she might text saying she's running 10 minutes late and that usually means twenty. Once she just outright said she was down at the pub!

I'm not leaving work now until 6:15 at the earliest. I'm not even getting apologies anymore or any extra pay.

I was wondering what others would do in this situation? Would you say anything/ ask for extra pay? Or just let it go?

Thanks :)

duck

but a text such as AT's would be the end of the working relationship as far as I am concerned. There is a reason that "breakdown of trust and confidence" is one of the legal grounds for dismissal.

Well, it depends on whether you respect your employees enough doesn't it?

You obviously think you are the centre of your own private universe.

Breakdown of trust and confidence works both ways, you know. Or you don't - which is kinda the point.

Why would you lose trust and confidence in your nanny when she asks you the very legit question of what you are planning to do as you are repeatedly late. You either need someone to come between the nanny finishing time and the time you come in or you need to pay the nanny extra hours. Or be there on time.

Or you just expect the nanny to stay there until it please you to come back, but she shouldn't dare asking questions

I think there's a massive difference between saying 'you need to get home on time' and 'you seem to be having trouble vetting home by the agreed time, would you like to renegotiate my working hours?'. Sometimes you do underestimate the commute or how difficult it is to say you need to leave. There is a general expectation that nannies are more flexible so while someone will let you go because you can play the nursery card they'll say 'it just takes a minute and nanny won't call social services'. But you have to raise the problem, sharkteeth

OTOH blondes it is helpful if nanny says "I need to leave bang on 6 on Tuesday because I have a hot date/evening class etc". Oh and I would always text when I was late as soon as I had an eta (not much point before)

It's far more about the lack of respect for me than anything. Obviously, as a nanny, I have to be flexible and I have accept that things come up (occasionally). But texting at 5:58 to ask me to stay for an extra hour while you go to a drinks reception at work is a bit cheeky.

Flexibility is a two way street, I've had a specialist appointment booked for months which I have sent emails and reminder emails about leaving work early for and when I mentioned it at the start of the week that I would need to leave early for it I was told it was awfully inconvient but they would see what they could do. Boss was then 10 minutes late to the earlier time.

tho we shouldnt have to say i need to leave bang on finishing time, nannies should always expect to finish at 6/7pm whatever time n their contract

guess ive always been lucky, my employers have always got home on time apart from odd train delay or unless they have pre arranged a later finishing time

as i said emergencies do happen but in op's case seems that her boss keeps being late for no reason and doesnt let her nanny know OR pay her over time

Threatening to leave the kids alone=breakdown of t&c because I could simply not trust that person again. Does not seem unreasonable to me. Would you like your surgeon to leave mid-op because it is 6pm?

On the other hand, I do think OP's employer should have done a better of managing expectations. We always stipulate a finish time that is 30 mins later than we think we need, as I think it is better to let someone go early rather than constantly arriving at finishing time or slightly after. But when the tube breaks down, or all hell breaks loose at work I do expect our nanny to act like the responsible professional she is and help out. Similarly we arrange ourselves to accommodate her needs and would not dream of cutting pay if she needs to leave early one evening. Give and take etc.

OP has not suggested that she'd be pissed off by a tube breakdown. That's very different to being called two mins before finishing time!

Most nannies are flexible but there is a fine line between being late due to work commitments/traffic etc and taking the p* out of your employee. I genuinely have no issue if my employer gets stuck in a meeting and rushes home afterwards. I do have an issue where my employer goes to the pub or to bed and forgets the time. I have had to ring my employer in the past due to no one tuning up 25/30 minutes after my finish time. There has to be some respect shown. I have never been late to work ever and if something happens in the future causing me to be I would phone immediately. I think it is very disrespectful and rude not to. I always have plans after work as I volunteer, swim, run and meet friends etc so if my employer is late it does effect my evening. Emergencies happen but I doubt very much the op means these type of situations.

Previous posters have mentioned doctors, my last nanny job was with 2 doctors. In 3 years with them I only ever left late once and obviously I didn't mind one bit.

You are right Blondes finishing time here (time paid up to) is/was 7pm my "normal train" got me back at 6:40 the next one at 6:55. I am late I would estimate once every 2 weeks.

It's fine if you offer the job saying "I am a doctor, on occasion I won't be able to leave on time, if this happens I will... Are you ok with that?"

But not to just assume being late every day is fine!

Just on the subject of working for doctors, I have nannied for 2 doctors for the past 7 years and would say on average they are late about twice a month BUT they always call or get someone to call me if they are unable to for any reason and apologise when they get home, I also get paid overtime and flowers to say sorry. I knew when I started the job that occasionally I might need to stay late but equally I often get to finish 15/20 mins early, to me that's being flexible on both sides and completely acceptable.

I have also worked for a single parent who was a gp and was sometimes late, again always a phone call, apology and pay. I stayed for 4 years till youngest started school.

In a previous job I worked for a sahm who was late at least 3 times a week because she lost track of time whilst shopping or visiting friends. She never called or apologised or paid overtime. I left after 6 months.

Flexibility has to be two way.

Any other form of childcare, you have to pick up on time or you pay late fees. A nanny should be no different.

People that work long hours with no overtime get compensated handsomely for it IME. The average nanny salary doesn't fall into that bracket. Plus, where that's been expected, it's always been in my contract. I bet it isn't in the OP's.

I don't agree that the nanny should state that they need to leave on time if they have plans. Do you tell your bosses that you need to leave at 530 because you have plans?

Yes dear girl I do.

When I had a nanny I always paid for more hours than I needed to accommodate having to work late myself, so although my office hours ended at 5 with a 30 minute commute I always contracted until 6.45 or 7 that way there was always leeway.Just to assume that the nanny can sometimes stay late would have been unprofessional

I am staggered at some of these responses here

I am very upfront - I pay until 7 pm but I'll be home around 6.30 pm so we can chat - it takes the pressure off that end of the day - sometimes I'm home at 6 and our nanny leaves at 6.10 (but paid to 7 because that's the deal) and on three occasions I've called at 5.30 because I've been stuck in something will run late and asked how late they are able to stay that day - and then if they say 7.30 I'll pay through until then

It's a conversation - not an expectation though - we are a partnership in many ways

I always pay in 30 minute increments too - otherwise it feels like I'm nickel and diming them

A nanny is an expensive option but the best one for us - I'm going to do everything I can To ensure out nanny feels respected and that includes with money - I never want our nanny to feel short changes - Id rather they felt we were generous because then the goodwill is better

And they are with my children - it's not like they are washing my car ....

DearGirl: yes, absolutely. In professional jobs you stay until the job is done, regardless of the clock. So if one evening I have to shoot, I make sure colleagues etc know well in advance (and apologise). Leaving on time regularly would mean no promotions and being first in line for the very regular redundancy rounds.

A professional role carries commensurate pay for those unpredictable hours. At the very least the OP's boss should pay the extra time. If she is unhappy working the extra time, maybe she's not in the right job - but she's in no way unreasonable for being fed up at working the extra time regularly and not receiving an apology or the extra money she is due.

Behind, I work in a professional job, as does DH. It is established that we leave early on set days (we take it in turns). Whilst I sympathise with the fear of redundancy, your generalisation of staying regardless of the clock doesn't apply to every job.

Again, if you need that flexibility then you need to pay your nanny longer hours or compensate in some other way (higher basic pay, annual bonus, additional holiday or whatever).

"But since the New Year she has been late 2,sometimes 3 days a week. She's a cyclist and sometimes gives the excuse of traffic. Other times she might text saying she's running 10 minutes late and that usually means twenty. Once she just outright said she was down at the pub!

I'm not leaving work now until 6:15 at the earliest. I'm not even getting apologies anymore or any extra pay. "

This doesn't sound like someone getting the job down regardless of the clock, it sounds like someone pushing her luck.

Say something to them OP. Why would this be unprofessional? And not sure why your job is being compared to a surgeons etc. If you are paid as much as a surgeon, then yes, you have to be flexible. But you're not.

I am in a professional job and, except for rare occasions, I leave right on time, because my employer know I have to. Of course, I am expected to take work home if I need to, but the flexibility is there. I think this is quite common