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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

How to broach something with childminder

40 replies

wheresthelight · 07/02/2015 07:50

My dd has been going to cm for a week and she loves ot! the lady is amazing and dd is eating loads better than she does at home and is clearly getting a lot out of it.

however, every time I collect her the cm keeps trying to out her coat on ready to get in the car. it's quite a thick padded coat that's send with her as the cm takes them out walking a lot. I have massive concerns that the cm is putting her in a cat seat in her car with this coat on which is against all the safety advice I have read and was given when buying our own seats. I don't want to upset or offend her as she is lovely and the only one I met with who I felt happy leaving dd with (pfb and proud), but I need to know if i would be a complete cow to ask of she is putting her in her car seat with the coat on and if she is could she not.

would this be ok?

OP posts:

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Emus · 07/02/2015 07:57

I'm with you on this one and don't put a thick coat on my DS when in the car either (yet nursery try to out it on when I collect him!). I've told them we don't do coats in the car.

Could you take a nice blanket with you next week and casually drop it into conversation that when she takes DD out, she leaves the coat off and adds the blanket (and then explain why)? Or something like that?

I don't think it makes you a cow to ask - no way! Your DDs safety is important and your CM might not be aware of the risks and would appreciate being told. X

Buttercup27 · 07/02/2015 08:02

I always put my dc in thick coats to walk to the car. Sit them in there seat , then take their cost if, as it's freezing outside I think they need to wear it to the car. Maybe she does the same?

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 07/02/2015 08:20

I don't think this issue is that widely known. I only found it out from MN and when I had my first baby in winter the midwives checked we were strapping him in the car seat correctly - we had him in a massive snowsuit and no one told us not to. He wore his coat in the car til he was two and I read the advice on here. My only fear had been him overheating so we'd have the car icy cold and we'd all wear coats!! My sister and SIL put their kids in coats in the car and so does my cm - I guess she might be putting four or five kids in and the hassle of coats on/off all the time would be difficult?

I've read my car seat instructions and they say nothing about coats, nor have any of the sales assistants who have fitted any ofthe car seats I'd bought. I think awareness of this really needs to be raised because I find that so few people know and they are sceptical when told.

Original poster

wheresthelight · 07/02/2015 08:32

She does have 3 other little ones so I appreciate her time will be limited but equally my dd needs to be safe when travelling.

I think I will have to have a quick chat when she is back from her holidays. glad no one thinks I am unreasonable!

I was shocked when the sales assistant told us in Mothercare (esp as kiddicare hadn't said a word) but I had come across it whilst researching the safest seats etc when I was pregnant but you are right the midwives in the hospital were insistent that I put dd in a snow suit (in august in a heatwave) to leave the hospital. I point blank refused and told them it wasn't safe and she would be fine with a blanket over her.

OP posts:

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 07/02/2015 08:41

Yes, safety should come first. I just find a lot of people don't know it's a safety issue and do the most convenient thing. I don't know how to broach it with my cm either.

adsy · 07/02/2015 09:00

I have the opposite problem. I have a parent who insists on putting a huge padded coat on mindee when she leaves. She's only been with me a few weeks and I'm trying to think of a subtle way of telling her it's dangerous ( and I know she straps her in car like this 'cos I saw her yesterday)

HSMMaCM · 07/02/2015 09:54

I've learned loads of things from patents, so I wouldn't have a problem with you telling me (although it will be a pain in the neck putting them all on when arriving somewhere). Just say ... Have you seen the new safety advice about padded coats and car seats? And take it from there. If you can find a way to do it that's not on the doorstep while she has five children milling around, even better. I have a parent who emails me loads of links to different research.

HSMMaCM · 07/02/2015 09:54

Parents not patents

hooker29 · 07/02/2015 12:39

She may not be aware of the dangers-I'm a CM and only found out about it via a Facebook group.

sweetboysmum · 07/02/2015 18:20

I would have no problems at all in telling a CM. Just say 'oh I was reading all about those safety rules with padded jackets, blah blah. I take it, you take them off when they get in?' Or something along those lines. maybe that's a bit condescending.... but you know what I mean. Definitely check. I'm a CM myself and nothing so far ever offends me from a parent.

busyDays · 08/02/2015 13:52

I'm a childminder and don't take the children's coats off in the car, not my own children's or the mindees. I have recently heard this advice but to be honest nobody I know in real life takes coats off. I'm not really sure how the practicalities would work especially when it is negative degrees outside. I can't leave mindees unattended indoors while I heat up the car and my car takes a good 10 mins to warm up so the children would be freezing cold during that time. Most babies would just kick a blanket off. Personally I would rather take my chances with a thick coat than sit in icy conditions with only a thin top on. However, if a parent specifically asked me to take a child's coat off I would be happy to oblige. I think as childminder's we are all used to all sorts of requests!

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 08/02/2015 14:45

You can get thin but warm blankets with holes in to accommodate car seat straps so you can sort of swaddle the baby before taking it outside and then strap it in - they're called something like morrock blankets and look good. I thought of buying one and then I guess you could give it to the cm in the morning when you drop off and ask her to use it?

adsy · 08/02/2015 14:56

Sorry busydays but that is a terrible attitude. So you are aware of the dangers but would rather "take your chances" especially with other people's children. That stinks.

misog2000 · 08/02/2015 15:07

I have a morrck blanket for my daughter and she uses that in the car, in fact I have a snowsuit type coat for her but I've never used it. She's wrapped in her blanket before we leave the house (still in a baby car seat) and she has a winter cosy toes on her buggy with an additional blanket so doesn't need one in there either, it's not hard to adhere to the guidance!

hooker29 · 08/02/2015 15:09

I put the coats on them back to front once they're in the car-they don't always stay on though.It's difficult though cos cars are generally blooming cold at this time of year when you first get in them. it is hassle though-taking babies out of seats then putting their coats on before you put them in the pushchair....and if you have more than one, you then have to keep an eye on the pushchair whilst putting the coat on the other baby/ies....then do it all again to come home......Got to be done though!

NerrSnerr · 08/02/2015 15:15

Omg busydays! When you're calling a parent to tell them their child is seriously injured or dead because they came out of the car seat I'm sure you'll tell them you know the risks but you took the chance?? People pay you to card for their children, not put their lives at risk.

Brandysnapper · 08/02/2015 15:25

I thought (possibly mistakenly) that this was only a problem with padded jackets, not fleecey ones or any standard "non compressible" materials. We have a jacket that's clearly full of air, and a snowsuit, and I won't send him to the cm in either of these. It can be hard not to seem to be implying they are doing something wrong.

binspin · 08/02/2015 15:33

how old is your dd?
if little little maybe give her a travel grow bag for the car?

if bigger give her a blanket.

Or send a thinner coat and say this is the one for the car as the other one is too padded and therefore dangerous in the car. make out that you've just found out the dangers in a 'did you know' type way so that you aren't criticizing.

Marcipex · 08/02/2015 15:34

I didn't know this! So padded coats are dangerous in the car?

HSMMaCM · 08/02/2015 15:36

www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2012/12/winter-coats-and-car-seats-keeping-your-child-safe-and-warm/index.htm

I ask parents not to send bulky jackets anyway (as they are hard to climb trees etc in) and the children come in lots of layers, making it easier to keep them warm without coats in the car. I have blankets in the car too.

Original poster

wheresthelight · 08/02/2015 16:22

I think what I will do is send her in layers and her rain mac rather than her winter coat and send a blanket with her.

the cm is lovely and I really don't want to upset her as dd has settled really well (she is 17 months for the poster who asked) so I would hate to upset the apple cart.

busydays you attitude is quite frankly disgusting. I cannot believe having been given the information you are willing to risk your own kids lives let alone those of other people's. I hope to god you aren't my cm!

OP posts:

BMO · 08/02/2015 16:36

Next time when you pick her up and the CM is putting her coat on, say "it's ok, she doesn't need her coat on as she's going straight in the car and it isn't safe to have a padded coat on in the car seat". If the CM doesn't know about this she will probably ask what you mean.

pommedeterre · 08/02/2015 16:39

I put my kids in the car with their coats over their laps like blankets. When cold like now they have hats and gloves on.
The baby wears a non padded coat plus blankets in top.
Cars warm up very quickly and putting coats on when you get somewhere takes two seconds.
So, busydays I think your attitude is lazy tbh.

Original poster

wheresthelight · 08/02/2015 16:44

bmo I have sort of said it but maybe need to be a bit clearer on the "not safe" bit. this is all completely new to me as only been back at work a week so not sure what is fair/appropriate to be asking of that makes sense

thank you for all your advice

OP posts:

HSMMaCM · 08/02/2015 17:42

Just do what someone else said and tell get you've just found out about the safety thing and she'll either say she knew or be interested and you might save a child's life.

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