Concerns about my nanny

[waterlillie]

We've had a nanny for about 6 months now. Although she is sweet with our daughter, I feel that she is a bit of a slob around the house. We tried to discuss this with her at her last appraisal, but things haven't really changed. By way of example, although my DD (who is 2) is also at nursery three mornings a week (and then sleeps for at least 2 hours over lunch) her washing and ironing always seem to get left to the last minute (and is then done in a bit of a rush), her toys and books are often left lying around at the end of the day, the bin is full of dirty nappies My concern though is that because I rarely spend time at home alone with my DD (I work full time and my DH is around to help out at weekends) I am really not sure if I am expecting too much of our nanny. She has told me that she works flat out, but on the rare occasions that I have been at home during the day I have noticed that she always seems to find time to watch at least an hour of TV (when my DD is sleeping). Wld be grateful for some thoughts from others as to what is reasonable to expect. Also, when a nanny is being paid for a whole day, how much time is it reasonable for her to expect to have free during her working hours?

If she is giving good quality, loving attention and playing with your dd in a way that stimulates her, then I think the nanny should have whatever time 'off' in the day that presents itself.

This is certainly how I survived looking after a toddler!

If you are playing and interacting with a toddler most of the day, it IS exhausting....I desperately needed time to myself in the halcyon days when ds had a daytime nap.

Somedays if you have visited my house the bin would have been full of nappies, books and toys ALL over the place, I can't tell you the chaos we had sometimes. I relied on DH helping me at the end of some days....

Most days however, I tidied up when ds napped, and prepared our dinner for that evening, and did all this at top speed so that I could sit down with a coffee and magazine before he woke....however, I am ds' mum, it's my house and that's what I was interested in doing; I think a nanny is a different thing altogether.

I wouldn't expect her to tidy round or empty bins - her job is to care for your dd in the best way possible and so long as she's doing that, then great.

Message withdrawn

I expect my nanny to do nursery duties - baby's washing, tidying his room, sterilising all equipment etc. She changes his bedding, washes up after cooking, vacuums the living room floor every other day as he crawls there.

She actually does more than I ask - the house is always tidier when I come back from work then when I leave in the morning.

Looking after a child is exhausting but this is what she is paid to do. And it includes titying up after him (and herself). Once she has finished her work she can have as much rest as she likes as far as I am concerned.

I'm a nanny and have looked after all age ranges of chldren over the years and yes toddlers are exhausting but it's certainly not too much to ask to expect bins to be emptied, washing and ironing done, toys to be put away and meals to be cooked. My 2 year old has just started nursery and whilst it is every morning for 3 hours i have time on my hands if i get stuck in with my jobs.

Some of the jobs i do are - Waitrose shop, clean up toys, washing and ironing, run errands, change kids beds, cook from scratch and general taking care of clothes, toys etc so i buy more if they are too small and regulary wash the toys. At the end of the day i leave the kitchen clean and tidy and make sure the floor is clean.

I look after 3 children so have tripple the washing and ironing and have always managed it on top of doing a 65hour week so i must admit i don't have that much sympathy for your nanny she seems a bit lazy. Maybe you should write a diary of what you expect everyday and she can tick them off at the end of the day. I would be mortified if my employer bought something like that to my attention in the first place let alone not do anything about it.

I think waterlillie it totally depends on how important this stuff is to you; I agree with justaphase that it is appropriate for the areas the child is playing in not to be actually dirty; but other than that, for me, I would prob. not even clock the state of the house but be much more interested in everything they had done together that day;

the days when I had been the best mum to my ds were the days when the house was at it's worst;
kitchen NUKED during process of making a sponge cake together; patio doors smeared in poster paints after an attempt at painting on glass like in smarteenies; various constructions of bricks left as booby traps all over the house left over from archtitecture training sessions, and not to mention that play-do that I am leaving there on purpose to dry in the carpet as it's easir to get out when dry...

Mmmm, I think the point is that if you are paying someone to look after your child and tidy up after him/her, then you do expect the place to be tidy at the end of the day - bins emptied, toys put away etc. The last thing I want to do when I come home is to walk into a place that looks a tip, with toys etc all over the place. She is being paid to do a job and she is not doing it. Have a gentle word.

Oh I didn't notice that your DD is at nursery three mornings a week! In that case, she is most definitely taking the piss. I have done two lots of washing this morning, mucked out and hoovered the DDs' room and washed up the breakfast stuff. And I'm not speedy.

Thanks all of you. Am expecting baby no 2 in Dec so have been worrying a bit that my reaction to the mess is being driven at least in part by
overtiredness/emotional upheaval etc! Have decided to task DH with having a "gentle word" so fingers crossed.

I have been an au pair, a mother's help, a live in nanny, a daily nanny and also worked in a nanny share. I am now a mum.

I would expect a nanny to do all the child's washing, cooking and cleaning up after them and yes, that would involve emptying the nursery bin of nappies - especially if it was dirty (though she should be flushing the poo down the toilet).

TV can be watched while laundry is being folded but not if there are jobs to do. I always cleared all the toys and books away at the end of the day and didn't leave any mess that was made in my time at the house.

It sounds like she may need help managing her time. When my charges started nursery I would do extra things around the house, sometimes of my choice and sometimes at the parents request. If she has hours when the child isn't there maybe you could take them to nursery and she just works from picking her up? The idea of less pay may buck her ideas up!! Check your contract too.

Agree time management seem be the key, perhaps another discussion about what you actually expect from her and what "nursery duties" include.

If she manages her time well and has everything done then I wouldn't mind if she sits and watches telly while the LO sleeps but if stuff is needing done them well.

It is didfficult because as a nanny you don't get to dissapear to the staff room for A 15min break for a cuppa or wander down to M&S for some nice sandwiches in your lunch hour.

I was a live in nanny at the age of 17 and was a bit naive as to what I actually had to do, took a while to catch on and to get a routine that suited me and the kids.

I'm dashing between jobs, so have to be quick.

I think it comes down to the contract... what is it that has actually been agreed. If the nanny is failing to do the things previously agreed, then you need to have a review of the situation and warn your employee that disciplinary action will need to be taken if the situation does not improve. It will help to give clear guidance as to what is expected, such as Ironing to be done while DD is at Nursery. Bin to be emptied every Friday afternoon or whatever (reminds me, didn't empty the bin today , but I did clean the toaster and behind the microwave .

Must dash, work calls.

We had a daily one for 10 years who was domestically very bad. We tolerated it and did loads of clearing up after work. It wasn't ideal but the consistently of care and the relationship with the children we put first but I'm not sure I would do that now. We were worried about chopping and changing to someone else. Then later we had someone who was great domestically - huge difference to our evenings. I suspect you can't change people - I have teenagers and some are naturally tidy and others aren't so I thin you either live with it or hire a cleaner or perhaps try to find someone tidier.

I'm a nanny and look after 3 and half year old twins. They are at school 3 mornings (well four really but one goes tues and the other thursday so I get one to one time with the boys!) I have 3 hours on a monday, wed and fri when they are at school, I do food shop 3 times a week (mon and fri - M&S organic shop and wed supermarket) as well as boots and health food shopping and running errands for my employers, I do the boys and my employers ironing, cook meals from scratch (including chicken nuggets and fish fingers etc to freeze) change the bedding on all the beds, Fridays, I go through all the toys to make sure they are not broken, in the wrong box or dirty. I put the hoover round if it needs it, sweep and mop the kitchen/dining room floor and empty nappy bin (boys wear pull ups to bed) and the rubbish bin in the kitchen, I also do the recycling for them and myself. I get it all done while the boys are at school so that I can have fun with them when they are home.

I also find the time to go to the gym on a mon and fri morning!!! So I agree with many others comments and think she is taking the piss! When the boys are on holiday if things don't get done then my boss is fine, but if it wasn't done during term time, I think she would have every right to pull me up on it!

I had a nanny who looked after 3 of my children (2 pre-school), when I came home the house was always tidy (cleaning was not her duty), the children's washing and ironing was always up to date, the freezer was fully stocked and the children were bathed and in bed. I am at home with 4 children now and there is always time to chuck toys in the boxes, put washing in/away and tidy up. It sounds to me as though she spends the time your DD is sleeping watching television/chatting to her mates.

Another vote for the piss taking camp here. You need a word with that nanny -- or possibly a big stick. If she is still going to work for you after you have another baby you deffo need to sort this out sooner rather than later. And, you don't want to be dealing with a slacker nanny when you are nearing the end of your third trimester with a toddler running around. Been there, and it's no fun.

Good luck!

nannythug!

(Just remembering Uwila's nanny hassles during late pregnancy. Eggs were banned and vodka socks were the order of the day)

Agree with the nannies who have posted on here that child-related housework is a standard part of a nanny's job. Yours is taking the piss.

When I was a nanny I used to iron with the telly on while the little boy was at nursery (or when he was asleep before he was old enough to go to nursery). I always left the house tidier than before I got there.
In the mornings after school run I would make beds, put washing on, hang out washing. I used to hang parents washing out too as I like pegging out washing!! At the end of the day I would hoover if needed, wash up, clean all the kitchen sides, put toys away and have the youngest bathed and in pj's before his mum got in.

I did more then for them than I do for my own house!! My house doesn't always have beds made, tidy kitdchen etc but I suppose I now have 2 kids plus the child that I nannyed for to look after.

Shes just hasnt got a routine . Set one for her .

as a nanny i also agree that your nanny is NOT doing her job properly, and would have seriouse words with her about it...

like most of the others on here i make enough time to do the childrens washing / ironing, keep and oderly playroom and ensure the freezer is always stocked full of nutritiouse home made meals!... and i always cook proper food from scratch!

and i dont have ANY time to 'myself' (without the kids).... the 13 month old (who is crawling and into EVERYTHING!) is always around and i only have 2 mornings where the 3 year old is at nursary!

The kitchen is always left immaculate, with the floor swept etc (and with a 13 month old it gets lots of food on it each day!)

but im not after praise... is simply a nannies job to do these things.... that is afterall what we are PAID for... to look after the children and things associated with children, ie their toys clothes and food etc!

Not pulling her weight imo. 2yo are certainly exhausting, but your lo sleeps alot AND is at nursery part of the time. Plenty of time to be a bit more organised and still have a bit of a break herself. I'm a sahm with 4 children - youngest is 2 years old. Yes there's a lot of mess but really laundry isn't rocket science and clothes don't take forever to iron if done in a blitz once or twice per week during your dd's nap or nursery times.

She is taking the piss!

...and if she reckons she is "flat out" with only one toddler-what on earth will happen when new baby arrives?

I agree she seems to have no routine and setting one sounds like a great idea-harder in practice when they have been there a while though.

Let's hope dh's little chat works.

I absolutely agree that you need to make clear what needs to be done and when - and be really explicit. The problem with being a nanny must be that it gets left to you to make your own decisions about how you do things, and you've no idea if it's what your employer wants. My present nanny is not a natural housekeeper, to say the least, and when she started with us her cleaning of the house (which is set out in the contract as a once a week role) left a lot to be desired. I suggested to her that I would write down exactly what I thought this covered in each room and she was very happy with that. It's not perfect, but it's OK now.

That said, our last nanny was brilliant with the cleaning - did everything efficiently and early, then would just randomly clean the oven or fridge if she was bored - but everyone keeps telling me how wonderful this new one is with the kids (and I think they mean better than the last one), and I would rather have this new one where cleaning is not always to standard but is so great with my boys.