Support when baby is born

[ourbabybeau]

This is really a question for those who are already Mums!

This is my first baby and i'm dreading how I will cope once the baby is here- although of course very excited for the experience! We don't really have family we can/want to rely on heavily near by (more people who will pop in an out, put a few dishes in the dishwasher etc) and i'm thinking we are going to need additional support.

I want to be heavily involved in my child's upbringing from the start- but I am considering getting a maternity nanny. Does anyone have any experiences they can share? As I said I want more than anything to be a very big part of my child's life and I plan on breastfeeding (how will this work with a maternity nanny?) but it would be nice to have the opportunity to be able to take 10 minutes to have a shower and put some clean clothes on!

Also how do people cope housework wise?? I cannot live in clutter and dirt- nor can my husband (it would be very unfair to rely on him to do it as he works extremely long hours and it's doubtful he will be able to get time off work even). Do you hire cleaners? Learnt that once baby was born it didn't matter (I really can't imagine this being the case..)

I guess my ideal would be someone who would come in for a couple of hours during the day- look after the baby while I catch up on sleep/bathe and do some housework while i'm taking care of the baby- but I don't know if such a person exists?

I would love to hear other peoples experiences- either positive or negative.

I can't help about the maternity nanny (but am reading interested myself) but I have started employing a cleaner that comes every two weeks. I've done this as I struggle now that I'm pregnant and I know I will struggle when the baby is here. So I wanted that to be sorted, I now have a lady who is very good and will keel her up until I feel I am able to do it myself again.

The right Mothers help might be a good solution. Someone who's job it is to do jobs round the house as well as look after the baby if needed.

If your husband has employee benefits including a legal helpline etc, they may also offer childcare at work support, many big companies do. I had this, provided through BUPA, the coordinator came round, talked through the options and had good local knowledge. She helped me work out what was best and did first round interviews and feedback for me. Worth looking into.

Per hour, a doula may be more expensive than a live out maternity nurse but as minipie said, a doula works much shorter hours.

To be listed on doula uk or nurturing birth, you have to do some formal training and then you're being mentored through first 4 jobs you do before you are able to become a "recognised" doula. They are similar to a maternity mothers help and will help with siblings, light housework and some will also help with meals and cooking. (Birth doulas will also be there for your birth if you need a birth partner)

Part time, live out maternity nurses (day or night) and full time live in maternity nurses generally only do stuff for and with the baby and don't do as much around the home