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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Is the word 'bum' rude?

99 replies

Fedupnanny · 01/10/2014 13:35

I was wiping my little girl charge after she had used the toilet and I said this...
"Please bend over DC as I need to wipe your bum"

Was immediately told off by the BM who was in the next room working, she said "don't say bum, you need to say bottom, I will not have them learning the word bum at this age"

I felt this was a little ridiculous and can't get it out of my head. What do the rest of you think? She is obviously within her rights to tell me what I can and cant say to her children but I feel this is a little OTT and never thought bum was a rude word!

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Bartlebee · 01/10/2014 18:27

Bum is fine.

The mum sounds precious, contradictory and ridiculous.

Bartlebee · 01/10/2014 18:29

... Although I would never say toilet or pardon .

Birra · 01/10/2014 18:32

Oh dear lord
Bum is fine
My ds says butt, no idea where that came from.

wooooosualsuspect · 01/10/2014 18:33

Bum is fine.

What does BM mean?

CoffeeChocolateWine · 01/10/2014 18:42

This is an eye-opener. I had no idea peopled cringed at the word "pardon". I grew up to be taught it was basic manners: pardon? = polite; what? = impolite. And sorry is an apology.

elfycat · 01/10/2014 18:44

BM would be Birth Mother I think.

BumBum (one word) is our word of choice here.

I don't give a fig what anyone thinks of that or any other parenting choices I make. I don't think too much about class implications either. I do have a very good flat stare for anyone in RL who questions either.

Messygirl · 01/10/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wooooosualsuspect · 01/10/2014 22:31

How would you feel about a nanny referring to you as the Birth Mother? ,Is that what nannys call their charges mum?

Seems a bit off to me.

tshirtsuntan · 01/10/2014 22:42

Boss mum/mum boss....not birth mother, blimey

hollie84 · 01/10/2014 22:44

Bum isn't rude, but some people believe it is common.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 01/10/2014 22:49

We use Bum, but I do live in the north east. Thankfully we are yet to to benefit from indoor plumbing and electric lighting so dd wipes her own bum in the ginnel.

Original poster

Fedupnanny · 01/10/2014 22:55

Sorry, BM was boss mum, I think I should of wrote MB, mum boss. Can't say Anything right today - haha!

thanks everyone for the support, I felt deflated after this today. I work so hard for her and try and please her all the time going above and beyond just caring for her 4 DC, that for her to snap at me about this really got to me.

Yes she swore and called her husband a f+* c**t at breakfast whilst Dc were eating their Cheerios and I was doing the dishwasher hoping it would swallow me up. She then proceeded to throw some ikea shelves out of the back door at him as he left for his day at work.

So many reasons to leave this job but I do love the Dc's.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fedupnanny · 01/10/2014 23:00

....also my boyfriend says, he's going to drop the kids off at the pool.... Which I think is great... Maybe I am common haha

OP posts:

ConkerTime · 01/10/2014 23:12

Fedup.

I feel for you. Not a great working environment.

On the bum issue: I was brought up to avoid swearing but we used bum as a normal word.

I was told by two people (one was a six year old!) within a few months that they thought bum was rude. It's like going to the States and finding people need to go to "the bathroom"! Just different dialects really. I did stop using bum around some folk; I don't enjoy annoying people as a rule so it doesn't seem a big deal iyswim. Otoh I use bum with my kids so it's not like I accept the ruling of the language police!

I do have a prejudice against the word "minibeast" but I see all this as personal issues and fairly trivial!

Abusive language and behaviour is a whole different ball game however.

Azurea · 02/10/2014 17:38

Bum is not a rude word!! I've never said bottom, my daughter calls it a bum bum. The word botty makes me feel queasy.

SingingSoftly · 05/10/2014 10:49

In my opinion it is rude, not the worst thing you could say, but not a word I would like my children to use. I was not allowed to say it when I was a child. I remember being told off for describing something as a 'bum bag' - I was told I should call it a 'hip bag'.

Bellossom · 05/10/2014 15:41

Definitely bum here. I couldn't imagine watching anyone wipe my son while I was there either!

But I work out of home so perhaps just hard for me to imagine that situation!

Kundry · 05/10/2014 15:49

Hip bag? But surely no-one would know what you were talking about? How can it be rude if it's the word every single other person uses to describe it?

My mum would have thought your mum was pretentious, sorry.

cathpip · 05/10/2014 15:54

I don't like small children saying bum, much prefer bottom I'm afraid. Allthough mil does delight in saying bum in front of me to wind me up :) it's not a word that I would pick someone up on and correct though.

Cullercoats88 · 06/10/2014 12:49

I don't see problem with bum, similarly I don't mind when the boys call their bits willy or zizi (french).

I saw a children's book called Poo Bum in shop yesterday, it says Fart in there, which I was brought up being told is rude. I don't use that word in front of children, but I'm not offended by it, it just sounds harsh, and I know children can have a real toilet humour so would rather I heard them say pump, or toot hahha

It's just personal preference, as you rightly say they aren't your children so have to follow what mom and dad say.

SingingSoftly · 07/10/2014 13:15

In our house farting was 'passing wind'. I might struggle to implement all this with my very sweary DH to be honest! He is going to have to clean his mouth up before this baby gets here

allmineof2 · 16/01/2015 06:50

I can see in the us the meaning of the word bum has change to 1s rear end.Friend ask what happen to the 4y old he said I fell on my bum. They did not know what he said Once told, they said they prefer it as well. They ask their kids what they felt comfortable to call it they said bum. Not telling you what to say but good to know that the meaning has changed. We would not let them say it if it was swearing or rude and we are all strong about that

Thumbwitch · 16/01/2015 06:59

I use bottom and bum, but not botty.
We use farty for farting (for the toddler) - usually because he's going for it in a big way, so (and yes it is twee but he's 2 so I don't care) we say he's having a "farty party" in his nappy.
I don't like the word belly though, never did - was brought up to think it was common and shouldn't be said.

HATE the word "lounge" as a noun - hate it even more when applied to a sofa, as it is in Australia.

OutragedFromLeeds · 16/01/2015 14:01

The loo/toilet and what/pardon thing really surprised me when I started nannying. I'm very working class and it was always toilet and pardon, but my first job was with a very posh/old money family and there it was absolutely loo and what.

I use loo/toilet interchangeably now, but I've stuck with pardon. It isn't rude, it's a different language choice. It's a gift for children to have access to different people from different social classes/religions/ethnicities etc. and so unless the word is offensive/rude, it's a good thing for them to hear it. Hopefully, those children will grow up to be open minded and tolerant enough not to 'shudder' at someone else's (correct, but culturally different) use of language . I can't imagine how people think it's beneficial to raise a child thinking anyone who uses a different word to them is wrong?! Ridiculous.

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