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Original poster

Nanny wants to take extra leave in term time but already used allowance for year

60 replies

JugglingChaotically · 29/09/2014 06:26

I was very clear with our current nanny that holidays in term time are to be exceptional circs only.
Also that they are vital to our life as our only help.
We pay v well for full time nanny to ensure cover in hols and after school. Also clear that if one of us travels then overtime required. and expect
We have 3 DCs all at school, no family here and GPs too old to help. We both work full time. DH travels periodically and I have a long commute.
Despite this, current nanny asked for a week to go on large holiday with friends last term - we were moving house, date on final but was def around the time she wanted, ended up moving while she was away. Nightmare but we got there.
She has no annual leave left even for Christmas. I did point this out but she said she didn't need more and would just take stat hols at Christmas.
A few weeks ago she asked if we were going away for October half term - I said no!
Now she has asked to leave early one day in a couple of weeks - she said she would ask another mother to have DD. DH will be away and the commute is such I would have to take a days leave - but I don't have any left except that saved for carol sevices, nativity play and Christmas.
At the same time she has asked for an early finish and the next day off so she can go away for the weekend.
Again offering to get another mother to cover for her.
She has asked to take from next years leave but will take unpaid if required.
I am shocked.
Nanny's swap and cover for each other but she hadn't networked with nannies.
How to pay back mothers. It's not a reasonable ask.
I just can't take leave as it will mean missing time at Christmas - and I can only take 3 days between stat hols anyway.
Never had a nanny who doesn't get their key role and problem with term time hols.
How to reply.
I can't recruit right now if she quits if I say no.

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HermioneWeasley · 29/09/2014 19:36

Disagree with posters saying it doesn't hurt to ask. You say you were very clear in the requirements when you hired her so she's showing a real lack of commitment and understanding of what her job is there to do.

Personally, I'd start looking for another nanny

Original poster
JugglingChaotically · 29/09/2014 20:44

Tread softly - thank you. I think she has missed the point and thinks it is like an office job.
Hermione - for various reasons which I can't go into without outing myself (if I haven't already) we really can't have a new nanny until February. Could have a temp I guess but so unfair on DDs.
But v glad to hear that you don't think I am being unreasonable. I almost posted there but thought I'd get flamed.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 29/09/2014 21:52

Start looking now, it's not that long until feb and you can take your time finding the right recplacement

MiscellaneousAssortment · 30/09/2014 00:25

I get frustrated with those phrases that seems to have become so popular over the last few years:

'it doesn't hurt to ask' or 'if you don't ask you don't get' kind of thinking...

It does hurt to ask, as it shows no respect for original agreements and it seems like the person is just waiting to take advantage if they can.

I think showing respect and understanding of the employers needs and situation tends to create a much nicer working environment based on trust and mutual understanding. I like to be very generous to people who deserve it. I don't like having to constantly enforce and guard my boundaries as the other person is trying to grab whatever they want. Not likely to engender respectful and harmonious working relationship.

I know I sound old but really, the breathtaking sense of entitlement of younger people just winds me up - crass and self serving. Bah humbug!

YonicScrewdriver · 30/09/2014 00:37

YANBU, say no.

giraffescantboogie · 30/09/2014 01:23

Anbu at all

PowerPants · 30/09/2014 01:53

Definitely say no, she;s taking the piss and you need to put your foot down. You sound like jollly decent employers to me and she's trying to exploit you.

Original poster
JugglingChaotically · 30/09/2014 05:43

Thanks everyone. Appreciate it as, as I said above, I was beginning to wonder.
Won't see her till Thursday as DH doing handover in the evening at the moment. She asked by email over weekend. Dare I reply by email or phone or better to wait and do it face to face?
Nanny's email made no ref to term time issue simply to lack of leave!
Not keen to rearrange meetings so I can come home early and talk it through with her but fear I may have to.

OP posts:
rootypig · 30/09/2014 05:51

I would do it face to face and tbh I would be giving her a verbal warning over it. She's testing your sanity and if you carry on like this, all the goodwill will be gone anyway.

Can DH not speak with her?

Original poster
JugglingChaotically · 30/09/2014 06:21

DH could do it but I am not sure he'd handle it. And diff to do it without DC there. Don't want youngest DD in particular to over hear any discussions.
So both of us home early would be required to address in person.
Aargh. Off to juggle diary.
She has no idea.

OP posts:
Original poster
JugglingChaotically · 30/09/2014 06:22

Sorry - not sure how he'd handle it.

OP posts:
YonicScrewdriver · 30/09/2014 07:05

I think it's ok to email or phone. I actually think an email might be better, you can use it to remind her of your discussions at interview and why this doesn't work for you, if you want to.

I don't think you can give a verbal warning about a request, rooty!

rootypig · 30/09/2014 07:22

Oh sorry, my mistake! was thinking about the terms of the contract but I see what you mean. What a pita, OP, perhaps Yonic is right and an email would serve as the short sharp shock she seems to need!

LIZS · 30/09/2014 07:30

Is the odd day she wants in half term ? Just wondering if she could have misinterpreted "term time" as not begin required to work half terms or not got the term dates clear. Clarify your definition of term time as per your original agreement, that she has no leave entitlement left and that due to your/dh work commitments it is not possible to be flexible on this occasion . There is always the possibility she'll call in sick and go anyway but that is when you can give a warning.

If arrangements may be negotiable in future ie. with specific notice or if you can arrange cover maybe you can agree to discuss varying terms at another time with a notice period which might enable you to do so.

merrymouse · 30/09/2014 07:34

thinks it is like an office job.

This wouldn't be allowed in an office job either.

Another point is that she could be genuinely ill between now and Christmas and then you would have to rely on the good will of your employer/other mums/relatives/nannies. They aren't going to too willing to pitch in then if you have already asked them for help so your nanny could have extra holiday.

If you could happily do without a nanny for a day, you wouldn't need a nanny and she wouldn't have a job.

Original poster
JugglingChaotically · 30/09/2014 08:18

Thanks.

No, not half term. One of us would try and juggle a day off if it were.
Will do email.
And you are right. Favours from mothers are for emergencies. Not jollies!
It is a PITA indeed.

OP posts:
atticusclaw · 30/09/2014 08:27

She is an employee. She is entitled to 28 days' paid leave per year. You as the employer are nettled to set everything else. So if you want for example to tell her that she gets 28 days leave but must take those days on the 8 bank holidays, the two weeks you are away during the summer and the rest at Christmas then you are perfectly within your rights to do so. Say "no, sorry, leave during term time isn't permissible."

atticusclaw · 30/09/2014 08:27

nettled? Confused "entitled"

Viviennemary · 30/09/2014 08:28

If she is generally reliable and good at her job I'd just let her have the time. After all she could be off sick a lot and that would be a much bigger problem.

Tori23 · 30/09/2014 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eddielizzard · 30/09/2014 08:39

yes, email. you shouldn't have to juggle diaries. that's what she's there to prevent!

i would also reiterate in the email that you absolutely cannot give her leave in term time.

YonicScrewdriver · 30/09/2014 08:43

"If she is generally reliable and good at her job I'd just let her have the time. After all she could be off sick a lot and that would be a much bigger problem."

Is this a devil's advocate position?!

I thoroughly disagree. It's not just "let her have the time off", it impacts OP's own work and she doesn't have the leave to cover non-emergencies. This isn't an optional play group on a Saturday morning!

And sickness is unpredictable - the nanny may need a day or two off sick before Xmas and then the OP is in an even more difficult situation.

Original poster
JugglingChaotically · 30/09/2014 08:58

Email sent. Fingers crossed.
Tori. She gets full leave. Why would there be an adjustment for overtime in UK? I work well beyond standard hours as does DH - no adjustment for us!

OP posts:
atticusclaw · 30/09/2014 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FishWithABicycle · 30/09/2014 09:59

atticus that's not quite right.

Everyone has a statutory right to 5.6 weeks of paid holiday. BUT there is a cap on the statutory minimum of 28 days. So, someone who works 2.5 days a week has a minimum entitlement of 14 days, but people who work 5 days or 6 days a week both only have a minimum entitlement of 28 days (though some kind employers do give more)