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Original poster

HELP ME CHOOSE A NANNY!

56 replies

balancingact · 21/08/2006 13:14

Hi Everyone,
Advice needed....looking at hiring a new nanny as current one has given notice...there is 2 really in the running so far (am meeting two more tomorrow but thought i'd get some initial thoughts now)....the position is live-in, sole charge
Nanny 1. Really liked her - warmed to her immediately. Currently looking after 2 kids same age as mine. Does not have NNEB but did degree in Childhood studies and has CRB check and current first aid. She looks like she's going to be quite flexible and fun. However, she will only be taking her driver's exam first week of Sept - she looks to be pretty confident. I need her to drive my eldest to nursery - we live in london - it is a short drive - like 5-10 mins - but even if she were to pass, i'm not sure how worried i should be.... Anyway, apart from that, i really liked her, added bonus that i found her on my own so no agency fees.
Nanny 2. NNEB, driver, and seems to be very qualified and unflappable. i didn't warm to her as instantly as i did with nanny #1 but i did warm to her a bit more as the conversation continued. She seemed a bit more introverted - like when i asked her if she had any questions for me, she said not really. She has good references, one was with a family of nearly 6 years. She will probably be more expensive than nanny #1 by about £30-40 per week (net,so probably £60-70 after taxes and NI), and also i will have to pay nearly £2000 in agency fees as she was put forward by an agency. I'm trying not to make money the biggest issue, but i would like to see views of other mums re nanny #1. or if you would ignore her completely as she will be a new-ish driver.

Sorry to ramble, doing my head in!

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Original poster
balancingact · 28/08/2006 20:06

Hurrah......maybe i haven't seen all of them yet!
I just registered with two more agencies that seem to have a few more girls that i haven't seen...one emailed me today (i was bloody impressed given it's a bank holiday monday!) the CV of a 24 year old english girl that has nursery and nanny experience. she seems very lovely, and i kid you not, one of the references (the one with the family - c 2 1/2 years with them) - almost made me cry! Here i go again, getting way tooooo attached too soon. this is worse than when i was a needy 16 year old girlfriend!
wish me luck girls....
btw, would you guys have a problem employing a c40 year old nanny - it's not so much the age - i just wonder if they would be as keen as younger nannies to meet new nannies in the area etc etc. not being age-ist or anything - just wondering people's thoughts?

OP posts:
janett · 28/08/2006 23:16

Hi balancingact, I am a nanny nearer to 50 than 40. I meet all the young nannies in the clubs, we have picnics, days out, i have some really good friends half my age. We all have one interest in common, the charges we look after and nurture. So please dont worry about an older nanny not fitting in.

Original poster
balancingact · 28/08/2006 23:28

thanks for that! i know it all depends on personality - i did decide to arrange to meet this lady - wish me luck!

OP posts:
arfishymeau · 29/08/2006 00:59

Can I just muddy the waters by saying that I've had 2 Australian nannies and they were both superb?

Something about Australians - they're chirpy and pleasant, community and global minded. Very sporty and good with healthy food. Excellent at making cappuccinos too!

When my first nanny decided to leave (she was Australian and wasn't quite so thrilled when I transferred to Sydney from the UK) I only looked at Aussie nannies.

fridayschild · 29/08/2006 18:37

my friend in Dulwich has a 40ish nanny - all I know is that nanny is older than my pal so must be older than 38 - and there isn't a play date problem there

where are you in Clapham? surely that's nanny central and she can find friends her own age if the young'uns shun her

and phone up the referees, you do know that don't you?

fridayschild · 29/08/2006 18:37

my friend in Dulwich has a 40ish nanny - all I know is that nanny is older than my pal so must be older than 38 - and there isn't a play date problem there

where are you in Clapham? surely that's nanny central and she can find friends her own age if the young'uns shun her

and phone up the referees, you do know that don't you?

callaird · 29/08/2006 22:14

I'm a nanny, I'm 38 (just!!) and I play fight with my boys, play football, get messy and generally can act like a 3 year old! I think looking after children really does keep me feeling young (of course, not having to get up in the night, early starts and worrying about money constantly helps too) I have lots of nanny friends and their ages range from 20 - 40, I also get on well with alot of the mum's from groups and school (which younger nannies don't as so many mum's are waiting til they are to have their children)

I have an active social life, (as do the children) I have moved all over the world for my positions and have never had any problems making friends with others, even though I am quite shy and introverted until I get to know people. They are usually quite shocked on our first night 'out', without the children!

As for rooms - well, I am really tidy at work and work 11 hours a day, when I have finished work, usually spending the last hour tidying up from tea time, tidying the toys away (look after 3 and a half year twin boys who, while they are great at tidying up when I ask them too, are very quick to empty things out again while I am cleaning the kitchen and throwing toys in the wrong boxes!) the last thing I want to do when I am off is more tidying up, I want to chill and take it easy (I also go out 4 nights straight from work to classes and the gym) so I have to say that my seperate flat (seperate wing to the house with own entrance) is usually in a bit of a state!!! Usually the kitchen is the worst and I very rarely eat at home! But I digress, my boss has said time and again that it is my home and if I want to live like that then it is up to me! I do have a good clean most Sundays so it is not squalid just messy! I think if you can shut the door on it and ignore it, then let her get on with it, maybe just give her a knock if you start running out of crockery/cutlery!

I hope it all works out for you and you pick the right girl, I never ever understand how any of my employers actually choose someone to look after their precious ones. We are currently looking for a temp for 5 weeks to cover some of my leave and I cannot imagine leaving my boys with any of these women!!!!! GOOD LUCK!

Ali x

callaird · 29/08/2006 22:17

Wow!!! Sorry that was so long! Didn't expect it to turn into an epic! Sorry again. Ali x

Original poster
balancingact · 30/08/2006 11:17

No problem!
Well, the dilemma actually solved itself as the more mature nanny wanted a separate accommodation, which we can't provide - alas, just a bedroom and a bathroom on top floor of house.
Anyway, i am seeing the original nanny 4 today for a second interview - i am taking her and the kids to the park as she wanted to interact with the children, which i think is a good idea. Her written references are excellent - she sounds like she has the patience of a saint, and all 3 mums she worked for say how much the children have missed her since she has gone (all 3 let them go as the family's financial circumstances changed or that all kids in full time school). I will call them later today to just confirm that the references are as glowing as they seem. The good thing about her is that she called the agency to say that if it's the right family, she will be prepared to take less pay initially as she believes it's more important that she finds the right family. uh-oh....here i go again....
so wish me luck girls. i hope my 2 1/2 year old doesn't give her tooooooo much of a hard time, otherwise we might scare her off! hahahahha

OP posts:
Uwila · 30/08/2006 11:36

Good luck. I had an older nanny once. We did have a problem with a bit of a "mother-in-law" syndrome. She thought she knew more than I did on some subjects. And when my instruction differed from what she believe was best for my DD, she did what she thought was best. This infuriated my beyond words. Perhaps this was because she was opinionated and stubborn and not because of her age. But, it was a problem. But, everyone is different, and as you say this option has already sorted itself out.

Good luck with nanny4's second interview!

MatNanPlus · 30/08/2006 11:50

Hope the second meeting will be productive BalancingAct,

Tho the willingness to take a lower pay initially could just defer the bigger wage bill by a few months!

nannyj · 30/08/2006 18:35

Be wary that if she accepts the lower wage she may then leave for a higher paying job in 6 months time. She may be accepting your job if nothing else is about. I had a friend do this in one of her jobs and i thought it was really unprofessional.

When i go for interviews i know what i want to be earning and stick with that figure as i don't want to be dissatisfied in the future and leave prematurely. Hope it all goes well for you though, good luck

Original poster
balancingact · 31/08/2006 14:56

Right girls, quick update
Had nanny 4 around for an hour and a bit with my 2 1/2 year old in the park - seem to have gone quite well. i still like her, i am sticking to the figure i gave her - so i left it up to her if she wants to take it further. I must admit, she seems a bit shy, but my DD seems to have gone on alright with her (although with it being in the park, she was happy as larry anyway).
I interviewed an aussie girl today who i really warmed up to. Problem is her last 4 years were in a nursery in Australia - her last sole charge job was in 2000. She struck me as flexible, confident, warm, and her references (still to be double checked) are all quite excellent. My gut says she can do the job even if she hasn't nannied in a while.......would that matter to you girls? or do you think i should just look at girls with the latest jobs being nanny jobs. i just figured if she worked in a nursery, probably good at being pulled in all directions. Added bonus - loves to cook!
So as you see, it doesn't really feel like i've had much progress.

OP posts:
alexh · 31/08/2006 15:37

balancingact I think I know the people who have offered Nanny1 the job! One of my closest friends. The details (Jersey, 4 day week, about to take driving test) seem to be too close to be anything other than the same person!

nannyj · 31/08/2006 16:03

I wouldn't worry too much if she hasn't nannied in a while. Just ask her if she's ok with the isolation (sp?) of nannying. If your gut instinct is that she is fab then go with that. I had a 2 year break in nannying doing something completely different and you never forget, i just came back with such a zest for it and still have it 3 years later. Best job in the world!

MatNanPlus · 31/08/2006 16:20

Why did she leave nannying to go to a nursery?

It would not neccessarily be a bad thing to have a break and start again fresh.

Uwila · 31/08/2006 17:40

I would definately hire someone who came straight from nursery experience. In fact, current nanny did just that. It means they are very current on things like preschool education (phonics, apropriate potty training techniques, etc.). Since my position is live-in I also require that they have lived in previously (even if it is as an au pair) as I want to know that they know what it is like to go live in someone else's house.

jura · 31/08/2006 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
balancingact · 05/09/2006 07:47

There is clearly something wrong with us.
I offered nanny 4 the job and she declined and took a live out position. She has only done live out ever so maybe she was really hesitating about that rather than finding any of us offensive
Aussie girl in serious contention now and will likely offer her the position depending on how i get on with another nanny interview tonight. Quite liked the aussie girl really, but feel i ought to see this english girl whose references are incredible and see what that's like.
Am just feeling quite down now as i have now started work and this whole thing is just doing my head in. I promise, we are a nice family!!

OP posts:
nannynick · 05/09/2006 07:53

As a live-out nanny myself, I think its most likely due to not being sure about doing a live-in job... rather than being something against your family personally.

Hope the interview goes well tonight.

jura · 05/09/2006 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Uwila · 05/09/2006 09:37

Can I hijack relly quick?...

I was listening to BBC London last night on my way home from work. They were talking about male nannies, and interviewed someone named Nick. Are there two nany nicks??? Or was it it you NannyNick?

(embarrassed to admit I was driving home thinking of mumsnet. I definately need to spend more time working)

Original poster
balancingact · 06/09/2006 07:08

I've met THE ONE last night girls!!!! This english girl is very lovely and i just had that instant click with her! I made her the offer right there (hahaha) and she promised to get back with an answer with me today. If she doesn't say yes, DH and i decided to make an offer for the Aussie girl - as i quite liked her as well. PLEEEAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE send me some good luck today. I swear if both of them say no, i am jumping out of our office window!!!!

OP posts:
nannynick · 06/09/2006 07:19

In the past week I have been contacted by 4 journalists wanting interviews, however I haven't given any - I'm a bit media shy - so there must be another Nick who's a Nanny!

Instant click - sounds good. First impressions really count. Good to hear you grabbed her right there and then, while it can sometimes be a good idea to sleep-on-it, leaving it too long means you may lose them to someone else. Anyway a job offer, doesn't mean it's for certain, as it will be subject to satisfactory references/checks etc.
She's gone to think about it... sounds promising, especially as she said she will get back to you today - hope you get good news.

jura · 06/09/2006 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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