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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Advice from childminders please!

44 replies

frazzledrocks · 04/04/2006 22:14

My nine month old baby spends three days a week with a childminder. This minder sticks to quite a strict routine, which involves most (if not all) of her charges going to sleep between roughly 9.30am - 11.30am. The childminder prepares lunch during this time.

In the afternoon, she often takes the children out to a park or for a walk, before collecting another child from school at 3.15.

I am very happy with the overall care she receives, but I have some concerns about this routine because my daughter doesn't follow it very well. Many people have commented to me that it is unusual for children to sleep in the morning rather than the afternoon (she has about an hour after lunch usually) so I feel it's going against her natural patterns.

We are having a real battle to get her to have more than about 45 minutes nap in the morning and she will even stay awake in the pram.

As a childminder, do you expect a 9 month old baby to fit in with your routines? Do you expect the parents to follow your routine on the days when they are at home with the baby? (mine wants us to find a routine we can all stick to, but one which fits into her day's structure).

I am feeling quite stressed about this because I feel that her need for strict routine and morning naps is affecting the quality of the time I am spending with my baby. I find myself getting stressed out if I can't get her to have a morning nap because I know that I will be faced with a grim-faced childminder every time I collect her the following week.

What do you think of this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Katymac · 06/04/2006 21:11

I do not put negatives in the book - I may mention them....but always in as positive a light as possible

FrazzledRock, you mustn't feel that way about your childminder - it's not a good thing - you must trust the person you leave your DD with. If you can't/don't trust the childminder please find a new one. She will be better for you and better for your daughter.

You must be happy with your DD's carer - it is vital - please think about it

BingoStingo · 06/04/2006 21:12

agreeeeeeeeeeeeeee

BingoStingo · 06/04/2006 21:12

you deffo wont relax othersiwe

HellyBelly · 06/04/2006 21:12

I've put 'been a bit grizzly today, poor thing' and then give the reasons why I think they've had a bad day (i.e. teething, got a cold etc) but I'd never say that. You poor thing, not wonder you are upset and anxious. Can't believe a CM would tell you what hours to put your child down for naps etc, I'm .

I'd have serious words with her about this if I were you.

Good luck :)

HellyBelly · 06/04/2006 21:14

Agree with the others, if she still insists on this then deffo get a new CM!

nzshar · 06/04/2006 21:28

Just read this thread i feel :( and

In the capacity of a newly registered cm with a ds but having worked as a qualified NNEB in both nanny and nursery settings before having children this is not on. All childcare professionals should be working in partnership with parents, afterall this is one of the standards that is supposed to be met (OFSTED standard 12) agreements should be made this includes routines etc not her dictating.As for the negativity should always only be as an aside IYKWIM eg "had a great day did lots of painting , though did get a bit tired around lunch", something like that.

Sorry to say it frazzledrocks but you are being a bit of a pushover as well. This is your child and you have every right to say how you want her routine to be. If this is becoming too much of an issue then you need to say "hey no " or find another cm.

Original poster

frazzledrocks · 06/04/2006 21:31

I'm really thinking about this tonight.

I trust her 100% - I think she's good with the kids (they get cuddles etc and all seem happy there). They go out most afternoons, but it's usually to a local park, never to any sort of toddler group or other activity.

I think she's trying to help by suggesting a routine for the baby, but the way it's been presented was that my daughter's screaming in the cot is upsetting the other children and preventing them from having the morning nap and that we really need to sort it out and get the nap established.

If we could establish it, it would be great. It would be convenient for me, but it's just not happening

It's not an issue of trust, it's an issue of her being inflexible and me feeling that my daughter is a problem to her. She's inflexible on some other things as well, things which I think some flexiblity would work in her favour (for example won't swap days if I ask her, even though she has vacancies and this would be no skin off her nose. She will have the baby on the day I request, but she will charge me for that day and the day I didn't turn up)

OP posts:

Original poster

frazzledrocks · 06/04/2006 21:33

I know I'm being a push over. I've just got a lot on my plate and I don't get much support from my family

OP posts:

Original poster

frazzledrocks · 06/04/2006 21:36

(and now I come to think of it, she does sort of talk about the other parents behind their backs...I dread to think what she says about my little one to the other parents)

OP posts:

Katymac · 06/04/2006 21:36

Where are you?

Can we find you a MN minder?

nzshar · 06/04/2006 21:37

IMO not very professional :(

nzshar · 06/04/2006 21:37

sorry that was meant for the talking behind peoples backs post

Tan1959 · 06/04/2006 21:41

Frazzledrocks; I would have thought something like 'unsettled' would be a better description followed with the reason why ie cold, teething as Hellybelly mentioned.

I too do not put negatives in the book but if mentioned, same as Katymac, mention in a postivie light.

Isn't 2:45 when the afternoon film starts?

mum2akebk · 06/04/2006 21:43

I care for a 10 month old baby,(along with two other under 3s) who I have been minding since he was 11 weeks old. He is a baby who doesn't need a lot of sleep and most certainly wouldn't sleep for two hours. He quite often does have a sleep in the morning but the most he has is an hour. I know when he is tired and then I will put him down for a sleep. I would never dictate to a parent what they should be doing at home. Your baby does not have a problem, her routine is just different to the childminder's. Trouble with a lot of the baby books is the babies haven't read them and don't know how they should be behaving!!!! My own daughter, although older at just 2, gets up with me at 6 o'clock most mornings and would be very unimpressed at having to go back to sleep-in fact I think the rest of my household would soon be awake from her - if not the street!!

I do send a daily diary home but I would not put that a baby whinged for an hour, I suppose I would be worried that it might be construed as a reflection on my care, although of course all babies have off days. I feel I am honest and would write that the lo wasn't usual self and maybe a reason why, if it was obvious and discuss it with parent.

Hope you manage to sort something out and don't continue to feel stressed.

nannynick · 06/04/2006 22:23

Frazzledrocks, I was wondering what age the other children are that the childminder cares for?

If the childminder isn't getting out to Todder groups, activities etc... then I'm wondering when they get any Adult company. I find that I need to get out and about so that I get to meet other people my own age, or at least within say 15 years of my age, else I'd go mad having only the children for company.

Mum2akebk, I just love your comment about baby books: Trouble with a lot of the baby books is the babies haven't read them!

kidstrack2 · 06/04/2006 22:25

can't beleive your cm wants you to follow her routine of naps in your own home! Er NO WAY, i would of thought your cm would have been led by your routine, my dd did sleep in the morning for an hour 9.30am -10.30am then slept for 2hrs in the afternoon(dd's own routine), ds just didn't sleep period unless in the pushchair, but really it could be doing your dd harm and upsetting her routine! I'm actually baffled that the childminder can get them all to sleep from 9.30-11.30, i'm out and about at that time at groups and doing activities with dd

kidstrack2 · 06/04/2006 22:30

Infact the more posts i read the more alarm bells ring, Go start looking for a new Childminder!

ThePrisoner · 06/04/2006 23:45

Your baby will end up getting stressed because she will have a miserable mummy as well as a horrid strict routine. I am appalled that another childminder can dictate your baby's routine like this, particularly as it obviously isn't working. No wonder she "whinged for an hour".

And no, I certainly wouldn't record anything like that - I try to remember that these baby books will probably be kept for years to come, and who wants to read something so negative. I'd probably say "was a bit unsettled, so had lots of cuddles" or similar.

It doesn't matter if you are a first-time mum, most of us were once! It doesn't make you a bad parent.

You need a nice, new childminder who will respect you as a parent, and who will work with you to care for your baby. (I am obviously going to vote for you to have a childminder rather than a nursery but, if it's this minder or a nursery, I'd pick the nursery - I never thought I'd hear myself say that!).

teddyedwards · 09/04/2006 01:29

As a minder, i would fit in with parents routine. I had a 2.5 year old last year and her mum was trying to wean her off afternoon sleeps as she was a bad sleeper at night, so i went all out to keep her occupied and doing physical stuff all day on saturday which was when i had her. I cannot imagine trying to get a 9 month old to sleep in the morning for that amount of time unless it was for the childminders convenience, or the child is used to that at home. Sounds like you need a minder who will accomodate your needs, and your childs, not her own . my guess is that the other kids she has sleep at that time and it fits in with her routine. Not good, get another one.

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