Childminders Club - Food / Fussy Eaters (parents opinions welcome!)

[HellyBelly]

If you have a planned menu type thing but some children don't like it, do you change the menu/give them an alternative or put out what you planned regardless? I really want to make the healthy meals I planned but it's not working how I want it at the moment. Also, none of the children like chicken, tuna, egg mayo etc sandwiches. So far I've been giving things I know they will eat whilst they were settling in. Anyway, now all my contracts have changed, there are more children for longer and therefore more meals to make. I want to become strict and choose what they eat (i.e. tuna mayo sandwich with wholemeal bread etc) like I planned but what do I do if they don't eat? (one always asks for biscuits etc but I'm already strict and will not allow anything like this if they haven't eaten their meal! )

Also, I think I've mentioned this before but as I'm discussing food.......I've got one mum who packs food (crisps/choc etc) in the bag sometimes (all the time during hols when older brother is here) for her 23 month old. I really don't like giving him this food as it only starts the rest wanting some and isn't in with the healthy food I want to provide. I'm going to say to her that she doesn't need to supply food but I've got a feeling she'll say something about him liking this type of food. Would you just say that you don't encourage that sort of food in your house? If you were a parent, would you be offended if I said this?

One more example - I have a 9 (nearly 10) yr old who was really upset once because I only had wholemeal bread and she only likes white (or that whole white stuff). I therefore made sure I had white bread in for the next day. Should I be strict and say I only have wholemeal in my house???

Please give me some tips on ensuring my house is full of healthy eaters!! (btw, my own ds is not a problem as he eats really well, although he still gets tempted with naughty stuff if he sees it )

Oh difficult.
I have only had to feed little ones apart from snacks on a regular basis and the one older one I had was not fussy at all.
I do what I do with my children which is give soemthing I know they will eat part of and get them to try the rest.
I give everyone the same - regardless (except for tiny babies)- including the 11 month old who has his mashed where necessary. If they eat it fine if not they go hungry.

I would say to the parent with the crisps that the other parents want their children to eat healthily and when they see this child with crisps etc it cuses tears/tantrums etc as they all want the same and that its not fair on the others you look after so could she not send anything please
If they have had a reasonable attempt they get desert - ie yougurt or fruit usually otherwise they wait until later. We do have snacks but they would have to wait until its appropriate.
I have one after school who woun't eat fruit in my house (but does at home) so he just has a drink if its a fruit day)
does this help at all?
if they are all fussy you would be doing lots of different things for each.
I usualy have brown bread, but occasinally we might have a french stick or white mini pitta as a change. They all eat the brown bread BTW no fuss.

Yes that's what I wanted, thanks! I was planning on putting food out I choose and then let them go hungry if they don't eat it (that sounds really cruel but I was hoping they would start to eat things (or at least try) rather than be hungry as I know some of their parents give up and give them rubbish if they don't eat therefore if they are with me most of the time now, I thought they'd eventually get the hang of it and learn how to get their fruit/yoghurt etc. BTW, what do you do if they won't try your choice of yoghurt. I've one mindee who will only eat Petis f... whatever it's called but I believe it's full of sugar and was told it's one of the worst ones??? I don't want to be buying different food for different people!! Do you think I'm right not to?

As for sandwiches, I have other things like pitta etc, just not WHITE when it comes to a loaf of bread. Should I stick by my guns and just buy wholemeal?

ive just started with a child who was very fussy with their mom and only ate little amounts or so they said so ive started as i mean to go on and give them the same food more or less to others and have something that they like as well then if they try they get 1p for every food they try and a certificate / sticker , and im having exc success so far plus theyre eating more and more each day plus asking when lunch is!! i only hope it lasts but they are at least trying the food which is the important point here so i would recommend they at least try the food before letting them at least have something on their plate that they will like.hard work but it will settle down once they know that this is what happens in your house and these are the rules in your home , you cant keep changing the rules as they wont know where they are plus you`ll be in a terrible headspin trying to work out who eats what ..good luck and keep the pennies coming ..it does work

Thinking back, I have managed to get her to eat a lot more than she would for her parents and this is by putting stickers in her book. She wouldn't even try things at first but last night I got her to have mixed veg and made a HUGE fuss when she had it (although she clearly didn't like it). What I suppose I should be saying (wasn't clear before) is if there's lots of things they insist they don't like, do I stick with it?? I.e. my own ds eats that much good stuff that if he tries something and doesn't like it, I'd never force him and would probably not buy it and waste my money (but would try again a month or so later in case his taste has changed), it's usually stuff I wouldn't eat anyway! My problem is mindee 1 dislikes so many things that I think it's more an act than anything and then she asks for biscuits!! (coz she gets what she wants at home)

The 23 month old mindee has NEVER once even attempted to try a sandwich at all - he just likes to snack on crisps, sausage rolls, chocolate etc at home so probably grabs his lot when he's back at home in the afternoon.

I'll stick with what I'm doing for all the kids but will also reintroduce my home made stuff with all the bits in and stick by my guns!

Suppose I've just been really lucky with my own ds!

What about the white bread thing with 9 yr old school run/hols mindee?

I ask parents what their children will not eat/do not like, so if mum says 'Johnny will not eat cheese' then that is the only thing I would not give them. If a child tells me they do not like something I check with the parents and if they confirm child does not like it then that's fine, but I do not automatically believe the child I am afraid.
I tend to put a selection of food on the table, they choose what they want and whatever goes on their plate I expect them to eat or no pudding, but if pudding is fruit and Ice cream and they do not eat the fruit then next time they get fruit first and when they have eaten it they get the ice cream, they soon learn the 'rules'.
Sorry it's a bit long and hope you can understand what I am trying to say.

completely! good for you! I don't believe the mindee but the mum (lovely lady) looks a bit blank when I ask what she likes/dislikes - think she's a bit embarrassed about what she feeds her at home!

feelingold - what about the bread thing for after school 9 yr old?

Speaking as a parent of a very fussy eater, I would be delighted if you only offered healthy food and less alternatives as it might make my little darling eat a bit more of a varied diet. Sometimes they eat better away from home don't they?

Just had DS's friend for tea today. He is a fussy eater at times too. He got the same as everyone (but it was what I was doing anyway) and his mum said he should eat it. I did get him to try everything by explaining that the rules in the house were that you had to eat a lot of your main course or no pudding as you clearly weren't hungry enough for pudding. In the event he was too full for pudding

I don't provide any meals for mindees because I don't want to get entangled up in all these problems! (I have provided meals if they've forgotten theirs, and they'll get organic carrots or nothing coz I don't have junk!)

I eat very well (lots of fruit and veg, wholemeal bread etc) and the children see me eating this at lunchtime. I will offer them a taste of something I've had, and they'll often try it because it is mine.

I've never had a problem with mindees complaining because another one is eating crisps etc., I just say that that is what their mum/dad sent for them, and "your mummy gave you an apple, yum yum"!!!! (doesn't sound too convincing - I'd prefer a piece of chocolate cake).

However, I am pretty strict about what they eat first - junk is for after anything else in your lunchbox that is remotely healthy.

Helly - I guess you need to speak to the parents. If they have chosen you as their minder, they know how you operate. Tell them that OFSTED expect you to provide healthy food (they do!) and that you need their support. How does the parent of the White Bread Fiend actually feel about it? Once you do something for one child, you'll have to accommodate everything that anyone else wants (unless a child has a real dislike for something like broad beans, coz they really are horrid).

Prisoner, What's wrong with broad beans - they are nice!!!
Now had you said brussel sprouts (no-one in the world could ever induce me to eat them) or cucumber I'd know where you were coming from.

Helly - have you spoken to the parents yet?

Broad beans are designed for people who obviously had a wicked childhood. They are gross. Broad beans are not allowed to pass through my front door. Minded children arriving with broad beans in any form will not be allowed in.

Sprouts though - yummy yummy. Can't get enough of them. When I start being a proper childminder and provide super, organic, healthy food for my mindees, they will all have to eat sprout sandwiches.

Sorry not been back on here for couple of days but been full of cold have so have the toddlers

Anyway, I'm back!

Tommy - thanks for your comments, I appreciate opinions from parents and that's what I wanted to hear

Alison222 - same in this house, don't eat much dinner then no pudding. I've had to do this to the fussy eater and she hated seeing my ds enjoy his dessert Had to stick with it though and I'm sure she's getting better, at least she tries stuff now. Just need her to be a bit braver and try more home cooked things with bits of veg in!

Theprisoner - I agreed to do meals as I have to for my own ds anyway - was a bit naive about all this as always given ds good stuff from the start and had no problems. As for your comments "I've never had a problem with mindees complaining because another one is eating crisps etc., I just say that that is what their mum/dad sent for them, and "your mummy gave you an apple, yum yum" - you're very lucky. I've used all those responses but it doesn't stop them wanting!! They don't get though!

As for broad beans - my dh has a big phobia about them and can't stand them so they've never been in my house! Can't say I'm that kean either!

I will speak to the parents as they all saw my policies and procedures when they met me and know I promote healthy eating etc - will just remind them of that!

Personally I think you should tell the mindee's mum not to send the stuff because it is not fair on the other children so you have to have that rule. He's only 23 months - he'll get over it and I really don't think it is fair on the other children.

On the bread - I think vary it with frenchstick, pitta etc and sometimes your brown loaf as suggested.

We have a policy that includes no fizzy drinks, no chocolate, sweets or crisps or nuts if the parents provide the lunch...and any juices to be given in a coloured beaker as other children in our care are only allowed filtered water...to stop any jealousy.

All our meals are fresh homemade organic food, so I suppose we will be inflexible in terms of giving them anything that doesn't come under the healthy heading. We don't open our doors for another month so I'll let you know if we have a bad reaction...but my step daughter who is 10 eats white bread and rubbish at her mums house, protests a little at ours (especailly at wholemeal bread) but eats all her lunch and dinner nonetheless and we can then rest easy that she's had all her nutritional requirements for the day!

Our policy is so clear that it will probably mean we will only get likeminded mums coming to us...lets hope that it doesn't backfire!

Good luck with it - Joe

ROFL at cat bowl. what will the cat eat then?

No brussel sandwiches!!!!! Eughhhhh

Now, bean sprout sandwiches are another matter. Yum. My 2.5 and 11 mth old have just had some for lunch

I have to confess to filling up the baby on banana as he wasn't too keen on eating the pitta bread today though.

Bozza - glad you're in agreement. I do have other choices like french stick, pitta (although it's wholemeal). The wholemeal bread bit was for the days when they have bread, I want it not to be white IYSWIM.

artyjoe - like your policy, you've put a great deal of thought into all this prior to starting! My course was done and dusted in 2 weekends and I must admit I was overwhelmed with information etc. I thought I had thought of everything before I started but hadn't got the level of detail in my policies that some of you have. Thanks to mumsnet and also, the problems I have come across, I can have a good old think about exactly how I want everything to be! At the moment I don't have any parents providing food (well, they shouldn't be!) but I will make sure I cover this in case that changes!

alison222 - the cat got fresh chicken with organic carrots, brocoli & sprouts followed by a HUGE fruit bowl. Looked yummy to me but he didn't seem so impressed????

Bean sprout sandwiches - must try that, they sound yummy!!

artyjoe - I have a question re: the filtered water you provide. Have you any idea what age children are allowed to start having this? I know it's not to be used for babies but never knew when it was safe? Just thought you might know?

Hi Hellybelly, I would only give filtered water to babies who are no longer having formula/breast milk...so basically none under 1 year...and it is filtered water I give them, not mineral water, which is less of a problem anyway.

I hope I'm right now!

Joe

Oh, not what I thought then. I've always been told not to give filtered water or soft water (i.e. my parents had a water softener in their old place so I had to get water from the unit before it was softened) to the young children but never knew when it was safe. I'm sure you are ok, just my misunderstanding.

Got paranoid so I went back over my notes and initial research, the quotes below are from different sources:

Dr Briffa suggests, "At the very least, I recommend filtering tap water through a jug or plumbed-in unit prior to drinking."

"All water, whether bottled or tap should be boiled and cooled prior to making up infant formulas or giving as a drink to babies under 6 months."

Installing a water purifier in your home is a cost-effective and convenient solution for a high quality supply of drinking water that tastes great. The system produces up to 40 litres per day for cooking, food preparation and drinking. The combined technology of RODI (reverse osmosis with deionisation) produces water that has a TDS content of less than 10ppm (medically pure). Parents can use this to make up their baby?s milk formula without having to boil it first.

Babies will need lots of bottled or filtered water in the weaning process...

You are safe to pick one of the following Natural Mineral Water Brands (picking still waters only for children under two) to serve to babies and young children. Abbey Well, Aqua-Pura, Ashbrook, Ashe Park, Brecon Carreg, Buxton, Evian, Highland Spring, Perthshire Mountain Spring, Spa, Stretton Hills, Vittel and Volvic....

Filtered water, like tap water, must be boiled and cooled before being used for babies during their first year...

Hope this helps - Joe

WOW, that's great!! Thanks so much. Was this just a google search or something or is it from a particular website?

Helly, as a parent I would be happy to be given instuctions on what foods you do / do not allow in lunch boxes. I think it makes everyone's lives easier, but I am also a healthy food freak and lucky in that my son will eat virtually anything.

About giving alternatives if the child says they don't want something, I would negotiate this with parents when they start coming to you. For instance if you provide examples of your sandwich fillings, the parent could say "Ok, she won't eat x or y, so how about z?" If the children won't eat brown bread and you don't want to provide white, you could offer perhaps pittas, oatcakes, jacket potato or similar as healthy alternatives. I think if you provide strong guidelines on healthy eating and stick to them then you are doing both the parents and children a favour. It is easier to get a child to eat a healthy meal at a childminders that at home in my opinion! If you provide this info before contracts are signed then it is up to the parents to decide if they are happy with your poicies. Personally I would only use a childminder with a healthy eating policy, so don't be scared of putting everyone off.

About the filtered water thing, a friend of mine read you should NOT give boiled filtered water to babies as it concentrated the mineral content by boiling it and this could be harmful. I have no info to back this up, so it could be rubbish, but thought I had better pass it on.

Sorry I've written an essay! Hope it helps a little.

Hi FrannyF

Just to clarify on the filtered water...

We are not talking about 'boiled' filtered water for babies, we are talking about giving children over 1 year old 'plain' filtered water.

HellyBelly: I've just cut and pasted from 6 different sites that I've looked at before. It also says in my two toddler weaning books that you can introduce tap/filtered/mineral water after 1 year.

Hope this has been of some use to you - Joe

Hi Joe,

I was looking at your previous post at 7.27 pm:

"Filtered water, like tap water, must be boiled and cooled before being used for babies during their first year... "

Maybe I am getting confused, but that seems to mean that you would give boiled filtered water to under ones.