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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Childminers: Urgent advice needed, should i get rid of this child?

84 replies

Diddle · 14/09/2005 14:13

Hi,

I have had a call this morning from someone who needs a CM for 2 days a wk for her 3 month old. The only way i can fit her in is by getting rid of someone who pays half the money and is leaving me in Jan anyway. Should i remove the child who's leaving in a few months, and how do i tell her mom, should i be honest and tell her i am looking after my business in not so many words??

OP posts:

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amynnixmum · 14/09/2005 16:49

I know you say you don't want to up your numbers because of wanting to give all the children good attention but perhaps you could just do it for these four months. How many children would you be caring for at the times the new child would be coming? Four months isn't long and this way you wouldn'y be letting anyone down.

I feel for you as its hard where I am to get mindees too but i have to say i think it would be both unprofessional and unethical to stop caring for your current mindee in order to make space for the new one.

amynnixmum · 14/09/2005 16:50

oops xposted.

Original poster

Diddle · 14/09/2005 16:52

i would have 4 under 5's at once no older kids.
i'm going to wait and hear from ofsted.

OP posts:

amynnixmum · 14/09/2005 16:54

I hope they come through for you.

JELLYJELLY · 14/09/2005 18:02

I would give notice to the child as you cant keep working if you will lose alot of parents in Jan.

ssd · 14/09/2005 19:13

Diddle I would give notice to the childs parents and start the new contract ASAP. TBH I can't understand some of the posts here. Of course you childmind cause you want to but you are working first and foremost for money to pay your bills - same as EVERYONE ELSE. Your earlier quote that everyone looks out for their own best interests is entirely true. I'm a childminder and recently a parent I have (well the mindees parent!!) told me she is changing our contract due to the fact another parent (not a c/minder) has agreed to have her dd for half the week for free. I felt absolutely no hostility towards this parent as I know it'll save her a lot of money on childcare. But of course I'm now suffering financially. But this is not the parents fault, it's the nature of the business. Same as if I was in your place and had to very reluctantly end one contract in order to replace it with another contract that would benefit me in the long run. We do all look out for ourselves. As you said a parent has every right to terminate a contract with a childminder if the school/nursey is offering cheaper wraparound care. And it happens, as parents have to put their needs first and think about how to pay their bills too.

TBH this whole idea about people who work in childcare for the love of it rather than the fact it's a job to them (same as everyone else...) gets on my nerves. And we get attatched to the kids we mind then the parents sometimes change the arrangements we have to save themselves some money. It all works both ways. You aren't Mary Poppins and you aren't being unproffessional, you are running a business.

Original poster

Diddle · 14/09/2005 19:19

Thanks SSD and Jelly Jelly - i am at a total loss of what to do. securing this new under 5 would be great for me. 2 of the children i have the longest (and pay the most) are leaving in Jan, plus another part timer. I am starting to worry i'll have no money

OP posts:

bambi06 · 14/09/2005 19:21

what about asking ofsted to increase your numbers temporarily to help out both, it wont be that long till christmas, hoew many children do you have? are they p/t or fulltime, can you jugle a little?

Flossam · 14/09/2005 19:29

IMO what goes around comes around. You could refer this new mum to the other childminders you are trying to uproot this child to (sorry but thats what it is). You could say, 'I'm sorry but I am committed to the children currently in my care, if you want to try me again in January when I will have space I would be delighted to care for your baby.' Now it might mean that they are very happy there, at the other childminders, or it might mean she comes back to you next year. But you will also be one of the names she mentions if other friends ask as I would have thought she would think highly of you for acting in this way. I would.

Also think it's really unfair on the little girl for her routine to be upset just before what is going to be a big change coming up soon as it is.

Original poster

Diddle · 14/09/2005 19:31

Ofsted are sending me a request form and then they will deal with it from there. I can't really juggle much around, the parenst work full time so couldn't change shifts etc to accomodate my request. I know if i was a mother i would be furios, and one of my mindies had this done to them at the last childminders, and they were furious over it.
I really want ofstedp to say yes, but i'm worried if i have to wait too long without an answer i will love her anyway.
This si stressing me out, need a nice cuppa dn a night in front of the tv. energy levels are low

OP posts:

ssd · 14/09/2005 19:31

good luck with Ofsted diddle.

I know my last post sounded very harsh and uncaring, but it wasn't meant to. I've got kids and I can appreciate how difficult and worrying it must be to find a good childminder you are happy with. And as you are trying to up your numbers or alternatively find another childminder for the parents you sound very decent and caring diddle. But I just feel it doesn't work in our favour a lot of the time with contracts. Parents are very loyal and really love you until either their jobs change/kids start school/something else comes along. And as minders we accept this as it's part of the deal we take on when we register. But parents also must realise we must make some profit (and trust me on £2.75 an hour I don't make much!!) and address the needs of the business accordingly.

Original poster

Diddle · 14/09/2005 19:33

You're right flossam, after hearing all you messages i totally agree. The whole reason i posted on here was because i didn't know what to do or think. You guys have made me see sense. I won't be cancelling any contracts, will only hopefuly be writing out an extra one.
I do commit myself to the children and it is a big time for the little one in question. thank you

OP posts:

Original poster

Diddle · 14/09/2005 19:34

Thanks ssd. you were not uncaring, just honest and to the point which can only help me in my decision, thank you. I charge £2.75 per hour, it doesn't go far does it, not when all the bills come in. But i love it and its worth it.

OP posts:

NannyL · 14/09/2005 19:41

OK diddle...

I think some people have been quiet harsh to you...

I think if you CANT have all the children then you are RIGHT to ask the otehr child to leave and take on the baby.... you do your job to earn money / pay the bills not for FUN... (although im sure you enjoy it too!)

Ulitmately the decison has to be yours!

Also you are a chidminder and im sure in your contract you only have to give 4 weeks notice... and your clients only need to give you 4 weeks notice as well...

(if it was the other way round would they feel sorry and give you LOADS of extra nnotice (if say a grandparent moved nearby and REALLY want to care for her grandchildren etc?) i doubt it!!

At the end of the day the children are the PARENTS responsibility, and parenst should realise they are never more than 4 weeks from loosing their childminder / nanny.

Saying that i would ALWAYS givemy employer alot more than 4 weeks notice...., but saying that right now i have the PERFECT job and i dont think there is any other job Ive ever even known about that wouold make me leave for anything!!! Im so happy there...

With my old family (when my new boss wanted me to start ASAP, (at end of Oct last year) despite only needing to give 4 weeks notice, i refused to start my new job until the new year for the sake of my old (LOVELY) employer, who i dint just wnat to 'up and leave' so to speak.

You must do wahts best for you and your bills, after all thats why you do your job!

Passionflower · 14/09/2005 19:46

I can't quite understand childminders not having a contract with their clients!

I think that three months notice on either side would give the required level of financial comfort to the CM and the parent.

Original poster

Diddle · 14/09/2005 20:00

Hi nannyL, thank you, I agree they were harsh words, i was a little upset by them to be honest. And i am running a business but i would feel mega guilty now if i cancelled the contract and took the new child. I am going to see what ofsted say.

Passionflower - I cant understand it either, with a contract everyone knows where they stand. 3 months notice would give plenty of comfort for both, but could also cause problems in some circumstances, when you ahve commiteed to giving that amount of notice, then something happens that changes your situation there adn then, if that makes sense.

please excuse typos, its been a long day (12 hours working)

OP posts:

ssd · 14/09/2005 20:10

passionflower, I can't understand when 3 months notice would work. Any contract change is detrimental to either the parents or the childminder, but to be fair I think 4 weeks on either side is enough. What other job would require 3 months notice in the contract? I'm no expert but I sure can't think of any.

bobbybob · 14/09/2005 20:16

I'm a musician and the rule is, once you take the gig you see it through - doesn't matter if an opportunity comes along that pays twice as much - your reputation is everything.

You have to tell the mum with the baby that you can look after it from January. You were happy to take half the money before.

As a mum I would rubbish you to everyone I met if you did this to me. I would be more understanding if you tried to change days, explaining all you have explained here.

ssd · 14/09/2005 20:21

diddle, look at this another way if you are feeling mega guilty.

If the parent of the child starting school in January got the chance to put her child into a wraparound care scheme that was oversubscribed and to secure a place there for a few years, would she stay loyal to you and refuse the wraparound place knowing this might jeopardize her childcare arrangements come January? Or would she look out for herself and her child and be sorry to terminate your existing contract and start wraparound as soon as she gets a place?

As a mum first and a childminder second I know what I'd do.......

nooka · 14/09/2005 20:25

Mine does! A month would make me very uncomfortable indeed. We had a two month notice period with our nanny, and I'm afraid as with others I would be very unhappy if my little one had to be moved only a few months before starting school. However I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask her to pay a full fee, given that you are being offered that.

We may be using a child minder in future, and I would be taking up references, so you do run a risk there. Sounds like you are in a very precarious position - round us good childminders are still a fairly precious commodity. I hope that Ofsted come through for you, and that your other parents are happy with an extra one for a few months.

seb1 · 14/09/2005 20:28

Just a thought of another way (quite cold and business like I am afraid) to look at it
If you worked for blue chip A and they were closing done in Jan, and blue chip B offered you a job at double the salary now, what would you do?

Passionflower · 14/09/2005 20:36

SSD mine did, my DH's does, and DD1's nursery did.

Passionflower · 14/09/2005 20:39

SEB1 when that happens, company A usually pay a hefty loyalty bonus. Have been in a similar situation.

ssd · 14/09/2005 20:47

passionflower I stand corrected.

wouldn't use it in my contracts though.

ssd · 14/09/2005 20:50

I don't think it's fair to ask the first mum who's child is starting school soon to increase her fees, albeit for a few months.

diddle just has to decide what suits her best and what she can live with in the long term.

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