NEW nanny-but looking somewhat unreliable-opinions please.

[majorstress]

Supposed to start this week as I was trying to get new one to overlap with old to save on training time and help with settling in-so far she has changed interviews, start dates and other appointments at last minute with me at least 6 times, come late on the one day she did work (and dd2 age 2 got a minor but painful head injury, plausible but still...), called in sick the second day (also plausible, but with everything else...). My friend at work said, get out now. Is she right?

What do you think? Bad hair week on her part, or bad choice on mine?

I noticed she hadn't left and it was time to head to nursery-went to investigate and found she was cooking pasta, and could I look after it as it had 5 min to go? o. kay......
I expressed surprise as I had already showed her the rather inferior sandwich material for dd2's lunch today-dd2' favorite food is pasta and this is the first thing she tells anyone who will listen..."oh no, that's MY lunch". Well she won't get much peace if she doesn;t want to share it, is my only consolation!

she's done nothing but eat, prepare her own snacks (3 so far), and talk on the phone, apart from tasks I have set.

Can you ask her whether she'd employ her?! She's taking the piss, MS

Well, that is a good question hunkermunker. But would you do this job for kids not your own? I wouldn't, but I might have done it at her age while waiting for something better to happen. I think the majority doing this job casually have something "wrong" with them, which may be as little as a language barrier to work on, but if that or another obvious hurdle isn't there, then beware! They may well be simply unused to actual paid employment, and unlikely to GET used to it, since they don't understand what it entails.

Majorstress, she is seriously taking the p*ss! If this is what she's like when you're there, what's she going to be like when you leave the house! Just cut your losses!

She was clearly instructed that she must collect dd on time, and what time to leave; also observed the nursery manager is dragon-so, timekeeping is the hurdle. I cannot teach this in absentia. Right that's it! good bye major stress, look out for majormum. Time to tackle/persuade/not distress long-suffering boss....uh-oh. Good threads on that, suggestions, anyone?

Majorstress, how old is she?

23

Good luck Majorstress.... I think you're right, the nanny has to go (was driving me mad just reading about her!)... re: going p/t at work, can you just approach it as though there is no choice in the matter (not stroppily, but more as a reasonable thing)? I'm in the process of trying to find a live out p/t nanny or nanny share (am going back to work next month), and am now feeling rather despondant having heard about the problems you have had.... had hoped/assumed that gumtree would sort me out...., can you tell I'm a 1st timer at this?!
I'll follow this thread with interest!

Old enough to know better, one would think!

I think my main problem is I have to pay the lowest you can get away with, and it still is costing too much, so I worry. I got my best one through gumtree and would have her back in a second, but she had to attend to her own family. I went on my instinct, but this time I felt I just HAD to have a native english speaker, since one was on offer, and I guess that just blinded me to the timekeeping problem hints. I got so tired of having the same old problems with communication. And it WAS nice to hear some real banter going on with the kids, including stories of friends etc., no laborious pauses to struggle for words, or grammar so far off it is incomprehensible, or giving up before getting the thought OUT-frustration all round. At least there is a definite spark of kindness there too. I haven't had any real doubts about their safety thank heavens. There were some real cold fish in my living room the last few weeks, dds are adorable even if I say so myself and would melt most hearts, but not some of my interviewees.

Majorstress, the local lady sounds nice so maybe that is the way to go. My chidren go to a nice nursery but with 3 of them it is costing a small fortune so I had been thinking of looking for a nanny. But after talking to my boss, who works similar hours to me, I kind of gave up on the idea! She had a lovely girl from Poland who has just left,(leaving her dd in tears!) but finds that she can't get anyone who wants to work less that 60 hrs a week. She would need someone for 30 hours max. Not all plain sailing!

Majorstress, you might want to look at a formal flexible working request. They don't have to grant it, but they are legally bound to consider it.

I'm quite well provided for at work, in that their policy is that they HAVE to consider for parents of children under 6, and give reasons for refusal, if I want to go part time-but it is permanent if I do it so officially. Doubt I will ever want that. I also can make less-official arrangements with my boss on a temporary basis, even could do that for a year or 2 which would free up enough money to get some clerical help to fill in for that part of my work-he is likely to opt for that as he is already going down the "official" route with another staffer, he said no to her so now has no choice with her as the grounds for refusing were deemed insufficient. I hate to do this to him and the place I work, and I hate housework and looking after kids a lot more than my own paid work.

Maybe my local lady will become my right hand and substitute gran, if I take off enough time to train her. My friend got one like that and it made life 100% better. She already tried to see how I cooked pasta (alien food to her, not in her repertoire ...yet!) while investigating (nicely) the place and kids yesterday.

sigh

Oh so sorry you're going through this again ms. Can I add a bit of constructive criticism here? I personally see Interviewing as seeing the shortlist of applicants (max 5 people). Personally, I would have a standard list of questions covering your requirements and carried out telephone interviews going over these. I would have been very strict in my selection and if they didn't know how to cook (eg pasta) then they would be a definite no-no. I think you are wasting of lot your pecious and valuable time seeing people who do not deserve your time whatsoever.
Good luck.

Well I am calm now, except for a headache, boss has been kind and will try to accomodate me to go PART TIME (yippee-I think), but I had to wait ages for a word as he was so busy, so I've been extra stressed for last 24 hours. Now just wondering how to enjoy being a mum of the part time SAHM variety without getting deeply depressed and another slipped disc (not really my strong point so far!). Hrmm. I'm thinking...outings? Parks? could I manage a toddler-mum swim at Finchley Lido, I heard the pools are easy to get into there; chance for a chinwag with a grownup while they play? oops that's not work! Don't have many friends around here really anyway. Yet...?

So here's another clause for the Mythical IDEAL CONTRACT-no non-emergency mobile phone calls-in or out-while on duty? Or what? Even while I was actually sacking the latest this morning (more stress all round), with my mumbles about "being changed to" part time (I wanted my keys back and no aggro before I paid up for the one day), her phone calls kept coming. Feel like a total dinosaur in this, but your employer is paying dearly for your full attention, and it's not just the disrespect to me, it's the lack of attention to my toddler as we waited by a busy road on the first day, as yet more Very Important Calls had to be made/taken. One who had constant calls during her interview got short shrift, but this one didn't have any that particular time I guess. I did try hard to screen on the phone, interviewing is shattering, but the key points have to be pretty flexible-like, the mature lady who lives across the road, was a chef, but is Chinese so I guess Italian-style pasta isn't a big item in her house-as well as starting right away to play with girls, be shown their photo albums etc., (they like her), she was interested in the details of cooking the pasta, and showed more interest in my family and household than any of the younger ones ever have. So she's not as daft as I made her sound. (And no mobile calls!). I am still going to try and get her to do some jobs for me, when I am home, to start to get a local backup system. My friend nearby was a star yesterday, collecting dd1 from school, drawing and cooking pancakes with her and her own 2 littler ones. Maybe she can do mummy lessons!