Home birth & siblings

[Dannie]

I'm planning a home birth for #3, as dh doesn't drive, so I fret about how to get to hospital. I wondered what other mothers have done with their children during a labour at home. I don't want to banish them from the house, and I obviously don't want them in the room in the latter stages. Hopefully they'd be asleep or at school/nursery & I'd just labour upstairs, if only to avoid babe hitting its head on a chunk of Lego as it enters the world. But it might be Sunday, or half term. My memory of previous labours is that dh was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard and would be better off distracting the children, but he wants to be there. We'd presumably assemble a list of willing neighbours/relatives etc, but for those of you familiar with home birth, will my complaints be audible downstairs if TV or music is on?

Does anyone know any of any books about homebirth for children. We've been chatting about how babies grow but I really need to prepare my two (3 & 4.5) as they will definitily be there (unless they are asleep). Have been wading through amazon for ages without much success.

There is a poular book. It is published under different names in the UK and Australia. I think it is called 'Welcome Baby' or 'Hello Baby' in at least one of these countries and is written, I think, by Jenny Overend. I remember getting hold of a copy for a friend when I was living in Oz but can't remember the name.

Feeling very hazy at the mo (poss due to cava) so hope someone can help you find it. I'll try elsehwere for you too.

I just found some info on it from an Australian teaching site but Amazon uk don't seem to have it. Maybe you could order it?

Here's what they said, and the ISBN no etc:

OVEREND, Jenni & VIVAS, Julie
Hello baby
ABC, 1999
ISBN 0733306853
A picture book which celebrates the birth of a baby at home, this is a warm and appealing work. While being suitable for parents to read with younger readers, it would need to be used with discretion in the classroom, as the frankness of the text and illustrations could be viewed as controversial. The well written text and detailed illustrations in this book make it interesting related literature for Stage 3 students who are studying the reproductive process in the context of human sexuality lessons. Teachers need to remember that parents should be involved in decisions about the PDHPE program. This will assist teachers to adjust their programs to accommodate the perspectives of different groups within the community. G. Penn
USER LEVEL: Stage 3

I had a reply from an friend who has it. She has the US version, ordered from amazon.com (as opposed to .co.uk). It is called Welcome with Love for the US market. Cost $11.17.

I'm sure she won't mind my posting her comment: 'It was worth it, [its long travel from the US] even though I could never read it to my kids without weeping!'

Katherine and anyone else who's interested, I've just come across this book while browsing a home birth site Runa's Birth, how my sister was born which might be good for explaining to siblings. Don't know what it's like though.

Thanks WWW will have a look - the other book thats been recommended can only be bought from US amazon - I asked at my bookshop but they said it was out of print and couldn't find any alternatives. I'm worried if I order from US now it will be too late so had almost given up. Will definitly have a look at this one. Thanks.

www, Katherine - the overend book is available on amazon called 'welcome with love'.

Elliott- its been ordered. Thanks.

Dannie - I'd say have stand-by plans but you may not need them! I had my second at home (dd1) and arranged for a close friend to look after ds for the evening and he stayed the night with her and her kids (but did feel a bit guilty about this as he was just under 2 - but he did have a good time) . In November last year I had dd2 and again wanted a home birth but felt guilty at the idea of farming 2 children out (then aged 5.5 and 3.3) just so I could be comfortable at home. I had lots of local friends on stand-by - but actually thought that if it happened at a very inconvenient time maybe it should be me that decamped to hospital. (I didn't feel I'd be able to focus properly on the birth if they were around). In reality, my waters broke at midnight and then nothing happened at all! (Of course I spent the whole night awake waiting for contractions to start - what a waste of sleep time!!). In the morning dp took the children to school - I just told them that I thought that maybe the baby would be coming soon - I didn't want them to be disappointed if nothing happened - or to feel they were being banished from the house. The second the front door closed - my contractions started with avengence! DD2 was born at lunch time and by the time they came home from school we were all cleaned up and relaxed and ready to see them. Couldn't have been better. The labour was a lot more painful than with dd2 - probably because my waters broke early - and I was quite glad they weren't there to hear me swearing!!

And good luck Dannie!!

Katherine - have you got the book yet? I ordered one too, and it arrived this morning. I told my ds yesterday that I had prdered a book for him to read, about babies being born, and he said he didn't want it, wouldn't read it, I might as well tell them not to send it (he is 5, and very opinionated!). It arrived this morning - he spotted the box it came in and said "Mummy, that STUPID book is here". But he did open it, because he wanted to make a car wash out of the packaging. So I sat him down for breakfast, and said, "OK, don't read it if you don't want to. I'm going to look at it though." So sat down next to him (with book) and he said, "Oh, OK, Mummy. Read it to me then." So I did. He really liked it (in fact he said "I didn't think I would like it, but it was fantastic" and apparently because he guessed that the Mummy in the book was going to have a boy baby, that means that we will too.

So good recommendation - thanks.

"Runa's Birth" is also available here

Hi Oakmaiden. Yes it was waiting when we got back from holiday. Gorgeous pictures aren't they. My two love it and it has prompted lots of talk about the birth. They both seem happy with the idea again although I am stressing that if its nighttime then they will just come up to find the baby in the morning. DS is now really into the idea of "making the baby's belly button" . I would really recommend this book.

My ds was fasinated by the picture with the baby's head emerging. Prompted lots of discussions about the different holes one has on his body - with him cottoning on quite quickly to the fact there was a "baby hole" which women have! He was really interested by the umbilical cord coming off and leaving a belly button too!

those books sound lovely - but possibly a little bit old for my DD who is 2. She loves books and I would like to get her something to help explain it all to her. Being only 2 I would need something that has fairly obvious pictures to follow but ones that are not too graphic! I have looked in the local bookshops and none of them are quite right for her age. If anyone has any suggestions, I would really appreciate it.

Stripymouse. DD is 3 and loves the book. The pictures are not what I would call grahoic. Although they show the babies head coming etc it is beautifully drawn and sideways on - very soft looking images IYKWIM. This book is the only one I've come across for homebirth apart from the Runa one.

Had a home birth with Grace aged 20 months upstairs playing in her bedroom with the two aunties. She was fine, not stressed, just a little shocked when daddy walked in with a baby in his arms.

we recruited the aunties (hubbie's sisters) on stand-by and called them at 6am (after being in labour since 3.30 or so). They came, dressed Grace but could not get the car seat into their car so kept her upstairs playing. One aunt was funny and walked into kitchen with me in birthing pool to ask how I was.....:0

Nate was born at 8.45, so all in all, Grace had a few hours of labour to listen to. Not fazed at all. What was lovely was being at home, her routine not being changed at all, just with her new baby brother on the sofa. Perfect, could not have been better....

PS, neighbours said they did not hear a thing, husband says he might be deaf from my screams!!

The book "Welcome with Love" is gorgoeous and certainly did the trick with DS and DD. Having been totally put off being there by SIL they have been reading the book every day since it came and are now little "experts". DS really wants to see the "centa" and has asked if he can support the babies head when it comes! Given the speed of my previous labours this might well end up being the case! Anyway just wanted to recommend this book and thank those who recommended it to me.