Dear lord, how long does this go on for?

[Skaffen]

OH was 40 weeks yesterday, had her show the day before and started getting irregular contractions (mainly around her back) at about 11am. They became v.regular about 3pm and we rang for a midwife at about 10pm, when they were 2 minutes apart.

Only 1.5cm dilated at that time. Had awful night, about 4hrs sleep each - woke up to wife in floods of tears due to the pain, decided to bin the homebirth and headed to hospital at about 8am.

No change in dilation and baby sitting quite high, so back home again and it's now 10hrs later. Still getting regular contractions - 4mins again v.painful, wife crying out with it. Has managed to calm down a bit now through hypnobirth relaxation, but both of us feeling a bit punchdrunk and wondering when it's going to get the realthing.

Is it common to drag on so long? Awful experience so far, hating seeing her in so much pain. Is it possible to OD on a TENS machine? She's been zapping almost 24/7!

I also had at least 48hrs of pre-labour contractions that came every 4 to 10 minutes. Managed through taking warm baths, trying to get as much rest as possible (v hard) and pacing up and down my hall and when not resting leaning forward as everyone has described (to turn the posterior baby). Tens machine and good breathing worked wonders as allowed me to focus on the contractions.

I was sent back from hospital at least twice as not dilated (baby was posterior), when finally became unbearable/too tired I had to persuade them to see me and went in to find out I was already 7 cm dilated. In hindsight it was better to labour at home rather than in the hospital and when I got to hospital my waters broke and baby was born less than 2 hours later naturally.. despite being tired from having had such a long early phase (which was really demoralising at the time).

Keep an eye on regularity of contractions as every two minutes is quite a short time, but key thing is how long they are lasting.. noone asked me that question and that is the key one .. not necessarily the frequency, as everyone is different.

Good luck

Is it a nice evening where you are? If so you may like to suggest going out for a quick stroll (or waddle). Moving about is definately the best idea.

Any news?

Hope he updates!

The answer to my original post was - a Looong time! ;)

Went to bed about 10pm on Friday night and was woken by cries of pain from my wife at about 0215. Headed into hospital and this time, thankfully, they kept us in, despite her being only 2cm dilated.

Had an awful day, she was in so much pain - went through 3 bottles of Gas & Air, had pethadine too but did little (don't think it was injected correctly as lots of clear fluid seeped out of needle hole).

Got to 8cm dilated about 10am - midwife then had to break water and our baby boy, Thomas, was born at 11.50am - 6lb 15oz.

Bit of a panic when he came out, was bright blue and not breathing, heart erratic. I was crying rivers...they put him on a breather and some oxygen and he seems to have recovered ok. Still very quiet though and I'm still a bundle of nerves hoping it hasn't hurt him.

He's not taking to breast feeding despite hours of trying with help from midwives and specialist volunteers, so baby and wife staying in tonight. I'm home to grab some sleep and return tomorrow.

Absolutely drained by the whole experience, it's horrific seeing your OH in so much pain - she seems to have recovered from it better than I have! No stitches needed (tiny tear but no bleeding) and a natural 3rd stage.

Thanks everyone.

skaffen congratulations on the arrival of little Thomas, welcome to the world.

Well done to MRS SKAFFEN

Yes childbirth can be a scary experience for a husband, leaves you feeling very vulnerable and a bit useless.

I'm sure you're little fella will be unscathed by his entrance, lots of babies need a little extra help at the beginning, and he's in the best place for the to keep an eye on him.

Support your wife lots if she wants to feed but uis struggling, she'll be emotional, (as you will) and sometimes it can take a while for it all to fall into place.

Get some well earned rest. Take care

You know where we all are for good advice.

Welcome Thomas!

It is very traumatic watching your partner suffer - at least she had your loving presence the whole time, which makes a huge difference !

Get lots of rest while you can and don't worry about baby - he will either breast feed in a couple of days (most babies pick it up over time) or he will be formula fed. It will all work out! He will bounce back from the birth the quickest out of all of you too!

Well done for supporting your family so lovingly!

Congratulations to all 3 of you!
No wonder you're felling a bit shell shocked.Well done for being so supportive it makes such a difference to how the birth is remembered .
Hope you have a good nights sleep (make the most of it whilst you can)

many congrats to you both.
If she had pethidine, it can sometimes make baby a bit sleepy, so it will wear off and when it does, he might get more interested in Mum's boobs.

Congratulations to you both!

Congratulations!

Oh congratulations! I had a little tear in my eye reading this....

Congratulations Skaffen and Mrs Skaffen! I'm sure baby Thomas will be fine- a lot of babies arrive a little blue.

Yeahhhh. Many, many congratulations on the safe arrival of your little boy. Great news...

Now the real work begins

Quick update - mum and baby still not home yet. He hasn't fed at all well and is jaundiced and dehydrated. He's having phototherapy, antibiotics and is on a strict feeding regime.

Poor DW is shattered, having to express & feed every three hours and then put him back under the lamps.

Doubt they'll be out until Wednesday or Thursday now. Just keeping everything crossed that he perks up and gets better soon.

skaffen is your dw breastfeeding? If so, limiting feeds to every 3 hours doesn't seem like an ideal way for her body to adjust to her new demands iyswim?

A tiny baby needs constant access to the breast. Do they have a lactation consultant anywhere near?

What do others think?

Liahgen I think the issue is that the baby is on a drip to deal with dehydration and also recieving treatment for jaundice meaning it needs to remain in an incubator of some sort. That means that baby can't have constant access to breast right now.

All the very best skaffen - baby and mother are in the best place.

Skaffen my DS had exactly the same situation when he was just born. Amazingly, he DID go on to breastfeed successfully for 5 months despite being in an incubator and exclusively tube fed for a few days. I expressed every three hours too, while he was there. While your DW is doing this, the milk will continue to come. She obviously needs to make sure her own fluids are kept up (ie that she has plenty to drink herself) and she is bound to be exhausted but with plenty of rest, when she can, over the next few weeks she will soon find that this is a distant memory .

I know first-hand how stressful this is but please do not worry. I was able to bring my son home within a few days and he just went from strength to strength. Bonding was great, his health was great and his feeding too. He plays rugby now and is a strapping 12 YO boy!

durr. Of course drip antibi's.

Skaffen, I really hope things are improving for you and your family. My ds also had breathing difficulties at birth, was in SCBU and jaundiced but was absolutely fine and eventually got the hang of breastfeeding. I know how stressful it is but soon the three of you will be at home, getting to know each other and as blinder says, this will all be a distant memory!