third degree tears

[taren]

any positive stories about third degree tears

Hello everyone.
I had a third degree tear and a mediolateral episiotomy 3 years ago. Was not offered physio afterwards. Still have stress incontinance and sex is difficult.I feel very tight in that area. I had a traumatic birth experience and baby was in distress. Since then, baby has been diagnosed as autistic and though there is some evidence to show that autism has a genetic link, environmental factors also play a part and I cannot help but wonder if the birth had anything to do with it. Now aged 40, overweight and 32 weeks pregnant, I am in a state of absolute fear over the next birth. I am due to see a consultant on Monday as I had initially wanted a c section but my midwife has scared me to kingdom come about this, adding that my BMI makes this much more risky. Thing is I feel that I am stuck between maybe another traumatic birth, tear, the thought that this may cause me never to have sex again, and a brain damaged baby due to oxygen starvation or, if I have a c section, dying from exessive bleeding! The midwife suggests another episiotomy, but looking into this it seems that you are more likely to tear badly after one. Telling her that it didn't help last time seemed to fly over her head! Any overweight people got a c section story? or any advise anywhere?

If you are concerned about your scar healing then IME it is well worth pushing for a referral. I had bad scarring after both my deliveries and I found that GPs (and even the OB that did my 6 week check) tend to brush things off. There is an element of sense in that, as some women find that things take longer to heal than we are all normally told (6 months isn't that unusual) but then are fine. But occasionally a woman (like me) has scarring that doesn't sort itself out and "the system" doesn't seem to be set up to help.

But - the good news - I have had a great deal of success with treatment. I have had cortisone injections to soften hard lumpy scarring and done massage to ease the tightness. I have also used dilators (basically medical dildos that increase in size) to help capacity problems and which incidentally are useful to combat the fear of penetration. I have been offered surgery to neaten things up, but haven't taken this up. I know women who have had repair jobs though, with great success.

So it's still early days, but even if things don't heal well on their own, there are options available. If you think that you have very hard lumpy scarring then it's best to have cortisone injections sooner rather than later - it doesn't sound as though this is a problem for you though.