So if you're one of those people who can honestly say "labour didn't hurt that badly"...

[Jacksmama]

... REALLY???

Honest?

How is that possible?

I am not taking the piss, I really honestly want to know. I've heard from one RL friend that it felt like "strong period pains" all the way through but that was as bad as it got. And I've read a few more posters on here who say the same thing.

I am utterly jealous gobsmacked. Granted, Jackbaby was stuck crookedly between my pelvic bones, and I had back labour, but nothing, nothing, could have prepared me for how agonizingly, horribly, unbearably painful labour was.

So if you're one of those people, come talk to me because I'm really curious.

I had a very quick 2nd labour which really wasn't that painful and I'm sure it was down to the quickness of it all.
I woke at 4.30am to go to the toilet,had a show and within 10 mins,was having mild contractions,so woke dh.Phoned my mum to sit with ds1 and she arrived at 5am.Got to the hospital at 5.15,where waters broke and found out I was already 10cms and ready to push.Ds2 arrived at 5.50am.
Ds1 was completely different-very painful and in labour for 2 days.

Mine was like those period pains you get in your back. It only got really bad when they decided to break my waters. DS was born 3 hours later. I had a hot bath which eased most of it off and bounced on the ball. I wanted to stay off G&A for as long as possible cos I was worried it would become ineffective if I started on it too soon and I really didn't want anything other than that. Once I got onto the G&A it was fine. I gave up with the G&A when it came to pushing cos I couldn't work out how to suck and push at the same time He came out in a few pushes and didn't hurt that much I think because I knew it was nearly over.

My labour wasn't too bad, waters broke just before 5am and i'd had Tom by 9:22am. But, I had a 3rd degree tear, placental abruption and his cord was in a knot!

I was that I didn't get to try out the gas and air! Am now expecting DC2, so I may get to try it, although the midwife who delivered Tom suggested that next time I should have a home birth.

Puts hand up.
Two easy births. It never got any worse than feeling as if I was a bit constipated.
I put it down to raspberry leaf tea.

hmm, well i have the horrendous period pain, but they are as nothing compared to birth. i was in the lose consciousness level of pain, and barely managed to surface, and work out who & where i was, before the next contraction started. so i think that blows that theory out of the water.

don't we all just have individual pain barriers, like we have different colour hair, eyes etc? some people's bodies have 'better' pain receptors than others. then, there's also the issue of how we all deal with the pain, and. of course, how quickly the birth proceeds & the position of the baby, size of your pelvis etc etc

you'd think that, by now, someone would have worked out an easier exit strategy, wouldn't you?

I think it's fascinating how different everyones' experiences of labour are. Some people on here have said they expected pushing/crowning to be the worst part but it was fine, I am at that as crowning was probably the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, and if anyone had told me beforehand it would have taken about 7 or 8 pushes from him starting to crown to being born I wouldn't have been able to do it (was screaming "just cut me!" anyway) - I expected it to be 1, maybe 2 pushes for the head, another for the body.

As for contractions, yes they were painful - but I found the pain itself okay, it was more the intenseness of the sensation and the fact it seemed to take over my body and all my arms and legs wanted to do was make me curl up in a ball (which made it worse). The gas and air, and being in water for most of labour really helped with this!

I can only hope noone has to go through the horrific labour my wife went through with the birth of our first.
We should have sued the hospitals ass off but we were young and naive and just glad we were all alive at the end of it. (Not me , my wife and our newborn).

The reason for all the problems?
Our first born got stuck , the epidural didn't work , my wife went into shock , the labour lasted 28 hours , her episiotomy was carried out without any local or any form of pain relief (The epidural didn't work it missed the spinal canal). My wife couldn't have any more pethedine as she was being sick and in the end only a forceps pull that nearly pulled my sons head off saved the day at the last second. The delivery bed and floor looked like a butchers shop and a midwife stayed behind to give us her details if we sued.
But don't despair we have had two quite normal births since then with only moderate pain.

JM - I used hypnobirthing, really to help with my birth fear issues, but it (and the huge quantities of raspberry leaf tea, I'm sure!) seemed to help with the pain. It was painful but not in the godawful screaming sweating hours of MWs shouting push now! way; I was induced, it took ages for me to progress but the pain was like very intense period pains/IBS cramps. Mine never got closer together than 3 mins, which helped.

Stage 2 was a shock - no one had told me it goes round the back as well! - so having that feeling of my spinal cord being squeezed (a "favourite" nightmare of mine) really didn't improve the situation. I was wailing like an air raid siren every 3 mins, then semi-comatose in between. I did have a shot of pethidine but afaiac it made f#@k all difference.

But... stage 2 was only 30 mins, 11 contractions in all, and only the 1st one was murderous because I tried NOT to push (thought I was going to poo on the bed) - gave in for the subsequent ones and DS nearly delivered himself - I felt him "move down" on contraction no. 10; DH fetched the MW, cue panic stations "don't push!! get towels!" while they checked where the cord was, then "ok push now" and out he came. Instant cessation of all pain/nausea etc.

After a rapid and easy first birth (under 2 h from water breaking to DD born), a nurse came and askd whether I had painful periods. She said that women who had very painful periods often had easier births... there seem to be a few on this thread this holds for.

I used to pass out from period pain and would have to spend the first day in bed and was terrified of giving birth if periods were that bad. Must admit, did enjoy the 9 months of no periods during preganancy and after, as BF .... yay!

@fastalarms
My two births were fast - 3 hours and 1.5 hours, no pain relief (there is none in Japan - apart from epidural at some hospitals) and I can honestly say the most painful thing was the epistiotomy with my first (no local anaesthetic). I counted "1,2,3,4, repeat" during contractions, and had a small handtowel with flowers on that I concentrated on (sounds daft, but it worked - I counted the petals...)It was the middle of the night in a small birth clinic with my first - and I was labouring on my own. I dunno - I just sort of got on with it. Primal instinct coming out, maybe? I was walking around until about 30 minutes before I actually gave birth to DD.
With my second, I was cooking breakfast between contractions (stir the porridge, 1,2,3,4 ) and then out DS slipped as soon as I got to the clinic.

Actually what took me by surprise the most was how I felt afterwards. I am utterly astounded to hear stories of women going shopping the same day that they gave birth!! I don't think I left my bed for 4 or 5 days

But actually, seriously, I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. And MIL (who has had 3 sections, so should know better) expected us to go for dinner at hers on day 2! Thinking back to the state of myself at the time I am at the idea.

DD1 was a doddle, although she was posterior. She came out all at once on 3rd push (shot off the end of the bed and dangled on her cord) and that was the only screaming bit. After she was out they discovered that the 'magic' gas and air had not been connected to the cylinder and I had been breathing ordinary air.

DD2, also posterior, was induced, nothing really got going and I was encouraged to push before I felt ready. She kept slipping up and down. It was mortal agony for what seemed like a life time. When I realised that there would be no respite until she was out, I dropped the gas and air, gritted my teeth and just pushed, pushed, pushed into the pain. When she came out I could not stop shaking for a couple of hours and had to be sedated while I was sewn back together. Horrendous.

Without a doubt had I had the second birth first then DD would have been an only child.

actually, i know a few people who had quite an 'easy' time.

1. said 'oh, your waters breaking is just like your period, not much more than a thimbleful comes out'
2. first time mum, went to her sis's wedding the next day.
3. one who went out to dinner about 4 hours later, taking all three dc's with them, to celebrate.
4. one who said 'each contraction only really hurts for about 5 seconds, so if you can count to five you're fine'

these are all friends. everyone in my family seems to get pregnant easily (too easily sometimes), not feel too bad when pregnant & birth is hard work, but not horrendous. (e.g. my mum had me at night, at home, without waking up my sis, then got up to make breakfast for the family a few hours later). i am the complete opposite.

hmm, lucky ladies!

Theninthtailor, I should probably have said "Lucky Women, I salute you" for those who had relatively painless births and have saved "Wonder Women, I salute you" for those, like me, who had completely nightmarish births that could quite easily (with a little more bad luck) have killed them and left them endlessly traumatized. You'd never think that could still happen in this day and age, would you? From the stories I've heard since I've had Jackbaby and from what I've read on MN, shockingly, it does, more often than anyone realizes. I agree with whomever said that there should be an easier exit strategy!!
But to spread praise around to everyone, I'm just going to salute everyone who has had a baby, or who is thinking about it. Just to be safe.

Anyway... I really just wanted to know if there were quite a number of people who could say "it didn't really hurt" (still ) or if I just heard from the few and far between! And honestly, I'm glad that there are so many of you! (But still a little .)

2nd time was virtually pain-free.
I had worse period pain as a teenager.
I had a homebirth with a TENS machine and felt really relaxed.
I read quite a lot on hynobirthing though I didn't attend classes. I think it gave me a new feeling about birth and the mental shift really helped.

DD no pain - elective section for breech.

DS - read the hypnobirthing, pain completely manageable (dare I say slightly pleasurable!) for 1st 36hrs. After that DS turned back to back, that combined with my SPD had me passing out with each contraction even with G&A (horrid stuff), dropping my blood pressure and slowing the contractions. I honestly think if I had not had access to the epidural I would have died.

There is no way on earth I would go through that again.

DS's birth was really painful - I took the epidural with thanks after about 12 hours as I was exhausted and sinking in and out of conciousness. I think it was being told I was still only 4cm at that stage that just made me think 'I can't do this'.

DD's birth I got through with TENS and a birth pool. I counted through contractions. The pain was enough to make me shout, but not scream. Crowning was just a relief - I didn't like the feeling of her coming down the birth canal - felt like something huge and stuck that I just had to get out. But part of my mind was still just expecting it to be a really huge poo, with the birth to come once that was over!

DD was induced and it happened very quickly - I got to 6cm on paracetomol and relaxation techniques and then used g&a and the birthing pool for the rest (which was only 90 minutes). It did hurt and was quite intense, what with the speed it all happened, but it was very manageable. DH said afterwards he was surprised at how well I coped (what faith he has in me)! I think there is definitely something to be said for what kickassangel says about us all having different pain barriers. I think I do have a high pain threshold - but it doesn't make me a wonder woman, it makes me extremely lucky!

mine weren't pain free (well pushing dd was except for crowning but not the boys and not the rest of her labour) but they weren't the type of pain that leaves you a sobbing gibbering wreck in the corner.

yes i was hitting the floor with the contractions, the pain was blindingly strong and took over every iota of my mind and body but there was a certain pleasure in it as well as in my mind; the stronger and longer each pain the quicker it would all be over.

so yes, during the contraction after the first 30seconds i was thinking 'shitting hell it hurts make it stop oh dear dog my pelvis is breaking apart make it stop' as soon as it ended i was willing the next one to come!

for the record...

dd was 18 hours from the onset of regular strong contractions until birth. they broke my waters and dd was in distress so my cervix was manually stretched and i was made to push before my body was ready to save her life.

ds1 was 18 hours from first contraction to biirth, he was born still in OP position and they broke my waters with him too.

ds2 was the most intense, 6 hours for start to finish but minute long floor scraping contractions from the first one, stuck at home waiting for my mother to arrive on an icy morning for most of it and then an hours drive to hospital with 4 contractions every 10 mins... all strong.

i've never felt i needed g&a or any other form of pain relief for any of them. my the time i was regretting that decision each time i was in transition and it was almost over (i hit transition at 5cm each time and had the baby within an hour)

My first three births hurt in the normal way (ie. the most intense pain you can imagine x 100!) but they were all fairly fast (6 hrs/ 5hrs/ 2hrs).
However, with my fourth my waters broke at 11.05pm, the first contraction came at 11.15pm and it was not painful, just an overwhelming urge to push. Had similar contractions every few minutes while dh speeded to hospital and baby was born at 11.40pm! There really was no pain, but trying to stop myself pushing until we got to the hospital was just about the hardest thing I've ever done!

Mine were painful - very. But reasonably quick so bearable. Pethedine the first time as that was the slowest (mainly because I lay on the bed freaked out by the pain and didn't do anything to help myself). I don't think I'd have felt the same if they had gone on for hours and hours.

In fact I can't remember the pain itself - just the fact that it did, iyswim.

thank god for pain relief - thats all i can say

With each contraction I said to myself in my head 'this is worse than you had ever possibly imagined, don't ever put yourself through this again'. I was so unprepared for the actual level of pain that my first labour still upsets me today when I think about it. But 17 months later I went through it all again, prepared for the pain, breathing better, and had a wonderful waterbirth. Yes, the pain is totally indescribably horrendous, but was actually forgotten about quite quickly. My first thought on holding ds was utter relief that there was no 'next contraction' to have to psych myself up for.

One woman that I used to work with brought her baby in for a visit and when asked about the birth said "It was a piece of piss, I don't know what people make such a fuss about". I wanted to slap her and I haven't even given birth.

Mine were fine. Not pain free, but like bad period pains. Both were quick (5 hrs, 1 hour), which somehow made the pain more bearable.