how much better /quicker was your second vaginal birth to your first ?

[mousemole]

DS1 was a crash c section and very traumatic.DS 2, 22 months later was a VBAC - (against all the odds and advice) so I was thrilled with myself. However, I had an episiotomy and third degree tearing - took an hour to be stitched up and three weeks to be able to sit down.5 months to have sex.
I am now contemplating number 3 but am tempted to have an elective c section as the recovery from the 'natural' birth was awful. Both of my boys were 9lbs in weight.
Please can you tell me about your experiences of your second v birth being easier and quicker than your first ? My mum keeps saying that the next one 'will be like shelling peas' ! I am not convinced.

Mousemole,

I think it is generally the case that second and subsequent vaginal deliveries are "easier" than the first and that one's body seems to cope better. And there are some fab positice stories here you should definitely bear in ind. However, there are always exceptions that prove the rule like me!

A third degree tear is a serious birth injury. I'm not saying it's not possible for you to have an "easy" second birth, because c-section is not always indicated after a 3rd degree tear. And plenty of women do go on to give birth vaginally after a 3rd degree tear. But depending on how you tore, and more importantly how that tear was repaired and how you healed, a c-section might be advisable to prevent further damage to your nethers. There are no absolutes, so if I were you I'd ask to see the consultant and get his view on your perineum!

There are some Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists guidelines on the Management of Third and Fourth Degree Tears (2001) which might be worth having a look if you can get hold of them. When I read them after my tear, I was concerned about the risks of incontinence in the future. I had no physiotherapy afterwards (which should have been offered to me as per the guidelines) and I'd want to know a further pregnancy and birth wasn't going to cause additional problems.

I think it'll be difficult to make an informed decision until someone's had a look at your bits! You might be offered an ultrasound so they can see what state your pelvic floor muscles etc are in. HTH. I really don't want to sound like a doom merchant, but I know what a 3rd degree tear is like!

Fayrazzled- that's a great idea - I hadn't thought of anyone having a look at my bits but certainly seems a sensible starting point. Maybe then the decision will be taken out of my hands anyway. After Ds2 was born I was adamant that I would never do a vaginal birth but its funny how times fades memories isn't it. Luckily you are bringing me back to my senses !