Birth plans, should I really bother?

[misscreosote]

I'm 37 weeks and planning a home VBAC with a lovely independent midwife, so I feel like I will be well supported whatever the outcome (and I've been through all the potential scenarious in my head and am pretty OK with, e.g. ending up with another C/S etc).

I'm struggling to get the energy to pack a hospital bag let alone write a birth plan though. Did anyone else not bother, and wish they had done? I don't think I'll need one if everything goes to plan at home, just I suppose if I end up in hospital. All I can think to write on it though is 'fuck off and leave me alone unless there is a real medical reason why you have to stick something in me/up me or my baby, and even then, talk to me/DP/IM about it first' . Which I'm thinking might not go down so well.

Any thoughts appreciated, or just a kick up the arse to do it!

Yes imoscarsmum, it really does seem to depend on who you get (like the whole birth experience I suppose). Mine never made it out of my bag either! It would be lovely to think that it would be read and taken notice of, but the onus really is on the woman/her partner to stand up for themselves, which isn't too easy in the middle of labour, especially the first time when you're busy thinking 'my goodness, this hurts more than I was expecting'

I think I just need to jot a couple of things down so DH knows my wishes if we end up transferring in to hospital, but like you, I think I'll be a lot more stroppy assertive this time round if need be!

I didn't have one. I just believe in being friendly to the staff and going with the flow. No one ever examined me until I was 8cm dilated anyway so it would have been a bit pointless-it was too late for anything except gas and air.

Sounds like you had a nice experience piscesmoon - its all very well being friendly to the staff, but if they're not friendly to you (or seem to know nothing about what they're doing ) then you need to be able to assert yourself in one way or another, by way of DP or birth plan or just by talking (if that is possible mid-labour ).

Complete waste of time IMO. If you're planning a homebirth your wishes will be taken much more into consideration anyway and if you need to go to hospital that will probably over-rule all your plans.

I had 4 days in hospital between being induced and having an emergency cs. Nobody asked about the birthplan (and this was in a teaching hospital). Mind you I saw far more of the staff delivering the meals than the medical staff so perhaps I should have showed it to them

The hospital was hopelessly understaffed and those who were there were too overworked to give any time to what you might have wanted. On day 3 having gone 19 hours without any food or water just in case a theatre came available for a cs, I was taken down to wait on a chair outside theatre (no beds available) only to be told that another emergency had come in and they were going to send me back up to the ward and I'd have to wait til the following day.

I threw my toys out of the pram and demanded to be transferred to a hospital where I would stand some chance of being safely delivered. At this point it was suddenly decided I was advancing sufficiently to have my waters broken (despite no change in the readings on the monitor). I had no confidence left in the staff as it was clearly being done to keep me there but equally felt I couldn't risk damaging my baby by leaving and trying to find somewhere else. Unfortunately it then all went rather pearshaped (random anaesthestist brought in from General Hospital next door put epidural in too high and I crashed, DH had to help lone MW insert catheter, emergency section several hours later) but thankfully DD arrived safe and sound in the end.

If I was ever forced to write another birth plan it would just say "get baby out safely and under no circumstances am I to be taken anywhere near Princess Anne Southampton".

I did write one but I kept it very very short.

At the top was info about my medical history (in case for some reason I couldn't give it myself - I knew DP wouldn't remember!) but only what I thought was relevant eg, that I'm partially deaf so how they could talk to me that would help me understand and what inhaler I use for my asthma.
Then I did the three key points that were most important to me about my birth (not every little detail) eg that I wanted a water birth if poss.
And then a three key points about emcs just in case.

I didn't get a waterbirth because it was being used! But, my MW did read it and the really important stuff about making sure I was totally aware of what was going on was carefully stuck to even after a shift change.

Next time I think it will just say. "Make sure I am totally aware of what is going on and the options, am partially deaf so please..." I am a go with the flow person really, and them doing that meant I was happy with my entire birth even though it wasn't the one I planned.

meandmybub, I'm very that you got the use the pool. I was induced too, and like you, it happened very quickly. I asked about using the pool when they were doing the pessary and I was told no as being induced automatically put you under consultant care while ruled out pool use. boo!

Anyway, my birth plan never left the boot of the car and I don't think we stuck to a single word of it! I did find writing it to be a useful experience though and when things didn't go to plan, I had some knowledge of the alternatives.

I wrote a short list of things I wanted to avoid, and preferences, which is how my mw told me to approach it. So glad I did, as each shift change the mw's referred to it and not sure that dh would have remembered to brief them every time. After horrible first birth was really keen to avoid intervention, and despite being on consultant unit where they were keen for me to have syntocinon to speed things up they stuck to my birth plan, and I delivered a 9lb 13oz baby with just gas and air. Useful to work through the scenarios for yourself, but definitely keep one or two copies in your hand-held notes. They do look at them, and things you write might prompt discussion - or might change the course of your whole experience, as for me. Good luck!

If you feel that you wouldn't stand up for yourself when everything is going on, write one, bullet points are preferable, and when you get to hospital, take it out of your bag and mention to everyone who comes into the room, that your birth preferences are on the chair/table/side etc.

I didn't write one for either birth but my DH was really clued into what sort of delivery I would . I also made sure he was clear that I should be brought into all discussions, no conversations over the top of my head!

I think its a good idea to help you get things straight in your mind as well, but I expect most Mums would make their feelings very, very clear during labour!

I used to work on a maternity unit as a junior doctor and we always joked that the longer and more detailed the birth plan the more likely things were to end up with emergency C-section etc. Not for any good reason other than sod's law.
If you really really think it's important which exact song is on your ipod when the baby's born then it's worth putting it in but be realistic (or be prepared to listen to that song on repeat a lot).
My first baby came early so I never wrote one but my feelings were always to go with the flow and just see what happened. That's pretty much what my birth plan this time says.
A few points that are really important to you are worth writing but don't set yourself up for disappointment, after all at the end of the day it's your safety and the baby's that really matter. If you trust the staff that are looking after you and feel you can communicate with them then you'll be fine - and if you don't you can always ask for someone else.

I wrote one for 1st time round and had it in my notes - they pulled it out and didn't look at it and I was too tired to comment. Dh mentioned a couple of things tentatively and was shot down. So although I had a completely natural birth it wasn't as active as I would have liked, I gave birth in an unfavourable position and the lights were REALLY bright.

2nd time round I didn't have a birth plan written down but was planning a home birth. I discussed it with dh beforehand so he knew what I wanted. I had EXACTLY what I wanted apart from I'd planned to give birth in the bedroom (happened in the bath) and I'd planned that a midwife would deliver - not my husband!

The fact that you have an I.M. means that you have someone who will speak up for you with authority if you end up going in to hospital - both dh and myself had never been in a hospital before (apart from the pre-visit) so both of us felt uncomfortable and deferrential to the 'knowledgeable and experienced' staff.

I had one (the same one!) for both DCs. The midwives on both occasions took it out, read it, kept it and followed it.

I recommend them.

To be honest, they were very keen for me to have an active labour and promote the use of the birthing pool etc, so we were pretty much in tune anyway. I think you run the risk of disappointment if you have a specific vision of labour and childbirth in your mind with no room for deviation. That is the case whether it is written down or not.

First birth - spent many hours on birth plan(as instructed by NCT teacher) and ended up with labour and birth from hell. Birth plan stayed in the bag.

Second birth - didn't bother with one and labour so short that DS2 almost arrived in hospital car park (midwife tried to deliver him on back seat of car).

Writing one helps you think about what choices you have and what you want but I don't know of many that have been put into practice.

My first mumsnet post! Here goes...

I've been giving this a lot of though as hoping for VBAC in 6 weeks (Previous cs was planned due to breech presentation). I was at the hospital last week and through chatting to the midwife gathered that continuous monitoring of foetal heartbeat was standard for a VBAC. This wasn't really what I had in mind - I'd like to be able to walk around and am thinking of using the pool. She did add that I could still sit on ball/kneel etc as long as they could still get a trace. From what I've read I don't think I really need extra monitoring so I'm planning to write a birth plan and get my consultant to ok it on my next visit - I don't know what his view will be though.

I would keep it to bullet points and stick it in with your notes that you have for community midwife visits. Mine was read by MW's in hosp and they tried thier best to keep things active for me.
I had planned a homebirth but was induced on synto due to pre-eclampsia. However they could tell I was really into keeping things as natural as possible. Difficult with a drip up, a TENS on, and two monitors but they got me a mobile monitor so i could roll around the room on a birth ball while still keeping the docs happy with constant monitoring. They were really positive about having as little intervention as possible and delivering vaginally, so were fab and encouraging. I delivered naturally with some pain relief but I avoided an epidural which was a really big thing for me.
I think even if things don't go to plan, your birth plan sets the tone of the type of birth you'd ideally like.
I think birth 'plan' is a really bad term.

p.s. one thing I really emphasised was that I and I only was to ask for pain relief. I did not want to be offered it. I wrote this is big letters. It's VERY hard to turn down pain relief if a MW is going, 'oh I think you could do with a bit of pethedine/epidural'.

didn't bother writing one with PFB as I felt the only important things was to get us both in and out of there safely. I knew in my mine what pain relief I did and didn't want, had a god idea of positions I thought I might like, but also knew that everything could go out of the window so easily my only real birth plan was to go with the flow. Otherwise I might have been tempted to resist or fight against what was happening and that certainly wasn/t going to result in a positive experience. As it is, I was 9cm when got there, had G&A only, cervix had to be pushed back, ventose plus 2nd tear and would happily do it exactly the same again as the end result was a healthy happy baby - only one things I would change and that's staying in over night at the hospital there's nothing worse that being up since 3:30am then having to stay overnight at hospital with a load of screaming babies and not getting ANY sleep that is my idea of hell!

Before my first baby I couldn't see the point of birth plans but did one anyway, and I'm glad I did. By the time I got to hospital there just wasn't time to have a nice chat with the MW about what I did or didn't want, and particularly with my second baby I wrote down what how I wanted (hoped) the birth to be, she read it, stuck to it, and I got the birth I wanted. Definitely worth doing one! Fill out the form in the back of your notes, dead easy that way, you won't have to write entire paragraphs just answer the questions.

I have two weeks now until due date of first baby. I have written my birth plan and have an indie middie who knows exactly what I would like. Reading some of these comments I am a little concerned that they might try and do things the way I don't want them done in a non-emergency situation. I hate the thought of not being listened to or not having things my way, during what I consider to be a really important time of my life, ie, having a child. During labour it is supposed to be about me and baby (unless there is a need for emcs in which case baby takes priority). I am having a hospital birth and am really scared now. HELP!

My birth partner is my husband. He knows what I want too. He has quite a forceful personality but up against a whole NHS team I am wondering if he would struggle. He is good but I wonder how dominating the NHS staff can be when they insist on things. What is your experience of them?

LOL Starlight - a contents page! Maybe you should post it as a template for others

I've written my 'plan' now - its pretty short and just contains a few of my essentials (e.g. no formula to be given to the baby if I can't feed as DD1 is very allergic to dairy and that made her ill at birth, if having a CS want DH to stay in the room as they booted him out last time etc). I haven't included anything on there for the home birth as I'm confident the IM will support me well whatever happens, and the rest is more just a reminder for DH as to what my absolute no nos are (e.g. CFM). Anything like pain relief I've left off, as I know from last time I may well change my mind!

Ali - if you're having an IM, won't she be in hospital with you anyway to advocate for you and your DH? I'm having one this time round, and asked her the other day about a hospital birth if it comes to that, and she said she would act in much the same way as at home except she wouldn't be the 'official' midwife, i.e. she will support me as a birth partner (with DH), and also speak up if the hospital midwife was suggesting something unnecessary or that she disagreed with.

Hi fruitpastille, good luck with the VBAC! Hopefully your consultant will be supportive of your wishes, but remember its always your choice!