Is it possible to request no visitors in hospital?

[Gentle]

I expect this varies from hosp to hosp...

Might be having my second c-section later this year. First time round, I found having visitors really difficult. I did ask for no visitors at one stage but this was completely ignored by the people who came to visit (that's a whole other story for another thread) and, being very ill and not able to stand up for myself, I ended up playing smiling hostess when I should have been having a private blub on DH's shoulder and concentrating on me and the baby.

I am getting wound up about this happening again and I wondered - if someone comes to reception and asks to visit you, why do the hospital often seem to let them in without checking who they are? When I've visited people in hospital I've always been surprised at how no-one seems bothered about who you are or what your intentions are for the patient.

So... Has anyone ever asked the hospital to refuse visitors to your bedside (especially the ones who think "But I'm special, they won't turn me away!?"

Is it even possible? If so, how did it work out?

SalBySea, how dare you suggest that midwives have better things to do than organise my social diary?!

Should have clarified that I didn't mean that midwife personally (although thinking about it she should really have stayed round the clock at my bedside and not gone home, had meals or a wee but then I'm a bit fick ;) ). I meant the hospital in general.

I started this thread because I'm genuinely wondering why my local maternity unit has 3 sets of security doors & buzzer, CCTV, a well-staffed reception, asks everyone to wear visitor tags that are signed in and out... and then just lets anyone wonder in?

The "2 visitors at a time" rule is for the benefit of everyone on the ward and partly so that the Mum who has just arrived from the delivery suite with her newborn doesn't have to endure the 14 visitors who have just arrived to see the Mum in the next bed (yes it does happen).

If the midwives are too busy - and this seems like a pretty important part of seeing to their patients - then I'm also wondering what the security doors and visitor tags are for....

Thank you MustHaveAVeryShortMemory.

If hospital policy is 2 visitors, but they don't have the capacity to enforce this, then should it really fall to the patient to try and do it from their bedside? Sadly, I think it probably does. Ensuring a patient is rested seems to be so low in so many other ways, I don't know why this would surprise me.

If the patient is bedridden and doesn't have a significant other around at all times to ensure they get their rest and privacy, then who precisely is responsible for ensuring this rule is adhered to? Santa?

sorry I am now laughing at a mental picture of Santa sitting on my hospital bed saying "Ho ho ho, now piss off while Gentle puts Lansinoh on her baps"

I'd go with the suggetion to not even tell them until you're home.

My mum turned up to the surgical recovery room within what seemed like minutes of me getting there after emergency c-section. The midwife sent her away, but let her in when she came back 45 mins later. Then my sisters and in laws turned up and were also let in. This was, I remind you, in a surgical recovery room, which is supposed to be no visitors. The people in the bed opposite were not happy! Luckily DS was born at 5.45pm, so it wasn't long before they were all kicked out anyway, but my god I learned a lesson!

I was quite upset when in hospital after my CS with dd2. She ended up in SCBU for 3 days and during that time, only my dh and my mum and dad visited me. Nobody else wanted to come because 'there was no point if they couldn't see the baby' Eventually my PIL came and visited her in SCBU when she came off the ventilator.

Anyway, I felt really annoyed when, having hardly held my baby for the first few days of her life, and she was transferred back onto the ward to be with me my MIL and GMIL were waiting in the room for her arrival. It didn't help that my own grandmother had died that morning in the same hospital so I was feeling very emotional. So, as soon as we got back in the room, dd2 was whisked away from me AGAIN so they could have their cuddles and photos. I'm not precious about my babies at all, but this felt like one time that I really would have appreciated being left alone with my baby.

Next time, in November , I will probably discourage visitors because I want to enjoy my baby's first few days!

JemL That happened to me in the recovery room, too. Very difficult to assertively tell people you don't want visitors when an official at the hospital has just ushered them through a door marked "NO VISITORS."

I think it is your dp/dh job to fend off visitors - even the loveliest nurse in the world can be called away so you really cant expect them to monitor visitors for you - its just not going to work very well

your dp should say to everyone BEFORE you go in that you will enjoy seeing visitors more when you are at home and fully recovered from your operation

i had visitors first time and it was awful - i felt awful, i did not enjoy them coming in, i wanted to feed but did not want an audience so felt very worried

second time i said no to everyone - mums included. my dh supported me in this and i had a lovely time - feeding when well, i ate well, rested, and was home very quickly

Of course ideally it should be agreed beforehand who will visit. But if visitors arrive unannounced or regardless of requests not to, you shouldn't have to rely on your dh to evict them. (Not least because not everyone has one and he can't be there all the time).

If you are at home you have the choice to not answer the door but in hospital, security admit people and direct them to your bed...

Also, your dh cannot and should not be expected to clear away the 12 visitors that have just arrived to visit the Mum in the bed next to you.

MadamDeathstare at the random man from work who arrived!!! My blood runs cold at the thought of some of my colleagues making a 'surprise' visit!

Wow, seems I had a very different experience. While I was in labour MIL + co kept phoning the hospital to see if there was any news (despite my mum promising to phone her or text if middle of night!) and they wouldn't tell her because she couldn't remember my surname! (Not married to DP)

Then a few hours after DS was born my Dad turned up at the hospital despite living 80 miles away (bless) - a midwife poked her head around my curtains and asked if it was ok to let him in.

OTOH though there were a few people there who were uninvited visitors - my pg friend had been having bleeding so had come in and just as I was being escorted back onto the labour ward (for some reason never went to pn ward) they appeared and started cooing over DS. Then just as we were leaving her bf and a couple of other friends visiting her were outside having a fag and proceeded to blow smoke all over my lovely newborn!