Cesarean...

[dabihp]

Facing cesarean no. 2
Apparently my pelvis just isnt' big enough for childbirth... sigh

Didnt get to experience labour first time, won't this time either...

Anyone else similar feel like a failure, or cheated out of birthing experience??

The reason im asking was because, im so petite with the shoes size of 3, everybody said to me there was no way i was gonna have a natural birth even one of the midwife's said there was no way.

Anyway i did have a natural birth baby weighing 7lb 12oz. Sometime's you just have to go for it to see what happen's.

I had a scan done (whilst pg) - had to go through one of those tunnel things -all a bit weird. They took lots of measurements of my pelvis, and did the "normal" abdominal scan to measure ds1's head. They concluded that there was either 2 or 3 mm difference between the circumference of the head and the circumference of my pelvis - and additional loosening in labour can add up to another 10+mm. Alas ds1 was facing the wrong way and got stuck - he came out (via em c/s) with a ring on his skull showing where he was stuck!!!

I'm size 3.5 in shoes, and just 5 foot tall but ds1 was 9lb 3oz with a 38.5cm head circumference (99th centile).

Afetr 2 c/s I must say that I didn't feel cheated, but one of my NCT group never really got over having a c/s with her dd (breech). She managed a VBAC second time round (first labour) - start to finish under 2 hours with no pain relief. One very happy lady. Personally I agree with Aloha - labour isn't so great an expereince that I felt obliged to repeat it, but we're all different. It had taken me 4 years to conceive ds, and his conception was via IVF - a c/s really didn't bother me provided that I had a baby at the end of it.

I was offered a scan to see if my pelvis was big enough if I wanted a VBAC but declined. As it was dd managed to be breech and back to back so a VBac was out anyway.

Kid I can't believe people have said hurtful things to you. What's easy about a section?????

Mind you given teh comments I got about not bfeeding dd1 maybe it's not so unbelievable.

I think a lot of women feel like failures or 'cheated' for a whole heap of reasons, whether it was a caesarean birth, or forceps, or a long labour or they couldn't Bf etc etc.

Like the others have mentioned maybe it would be a good idea to write a birth plan so you can make your caesarean birth the experience that you would like it to be. I have a sample caesarean birth plan I could email to you if you like, for ideas.

I hope you don't beat yourself up too much and just think of holding your new baby in your arms - what an amazing achievement!

HTH
Becky

Hi, I felt like i'd been cheated out of a natural birth for a few months after dd's birth, and that I hadn't really given birth.
Don't get me wrong, I am totally glad I had the section as it saved her life, but the way it was handled throughout my pregnancy and during labour not only makes me sad but very angry as well.
My mother had me and my brother by emergency section as she was too small, but they made her labour until both of us nearly died before the took her into theatre.
I TRIED and TRIED to discuss this with all 3 of the midwives on my community team, the midwives at parentcraft classes and the 2 midwives I had during labour and not one of them would even entertain the idea that I would need a c-section. The wouldn't even discuss it, kept telling me of course I wouldn't need one, I was a woman and it was natural for me to birth a baby etc etc. and that's all the info I got. I was terrified of a section but got no info or reassurance, just fobbed off. I was made to feel like a total failure after nearly 48 hours of labour, lots of which on a syntocinin drip (which made the contractions a million times worse I'm sure), barely any dilation until the end (only then got to 8cm) and then a dangerously low foetal heartbeat for them to tell me I'd need an emergency section. I was in theatre in minutes, no discussion, no explanation. In fact, no one even spoke to me except to ask if I could feel them prodding. They wouldn't even let my husband in. It was the most scary, horrible time of my life, when it should have been the msot wonderful. I feel totally robbed. Had a section been a considered option beforehand I doubt I would ahve felt this way.

Sorry about that rant, but just typing this makes me feel better. Thanks. x

I don't think anyone should feel a failure for not trying. I chose to have a c-section, and (turned out that I had a small pelvis too)
Having my section was the best expeience of my life. I got to watch them pull dd out, I was completely numb, and she was not in the least bit stressed....as natural babies can be.

I honestly don't feel cheated one bit

I was told having a section would hinder the bonding, but dd took straight to the breast, and is we are so close!

Please don't feel cheated. I've had a number of people say to me that they would rather have had sections.

The baby doesn't know the difference, all it wants is cuddles and it will be sooooooooooo happy!

I don't think anyone should feel a failure for not trying. I chose to have a c-section, and (turned out that I had a small pelvis too)
Having my section was the best expeience of my life. I got to watch them pull dd out, I was completely numb, and she was not in the least bit stressed....as natural babies can be.

I honestly don't feel cheated one bit

I was told having a section would hinder the bonding, but dd took straight to the breast, and is we are so close!

Please don't feel cheated. I've had a number of people say to me that they would rather have had sections.

The baby doesn't know the difference, all it wants is cuddles and it will be sooooooooooo happy!

i was told i would prob need a section but in the end didnt and had dd in 3 hours. i also have a mate who had a section with her 4lb son and when she fell pg again they said she would need 1 again as she was 2 small but she gave birth naturally to her 7lb dd so u might be lucky

Bibiboo, I had the same thing.

My midwives did the same thing. I even saw a consultant who then disowned me, and handed me over to someone else. She said that I was just being silly.
My mom also had a section with my brother and I(same reason) That is why I felt so strongly about it. I was 9lbs at birth, and my mom is a size 6. So am I, but thank goodness my dd was only 6lbs 2.

Professionals they call themselves!!!!!!!!!

Can you actually request a planned section on the NHS?

If so, how do you go about it?

Just thought more about it. Surely they should give you a choice, whether it's a homebirth you want or a c/s. I'm sure every woman thinks thoroughly about the pro's and cons of any type of delivery. Also, how can they make a woman labour 'naturally' if they really don't want to, wouldn't that be cruel?

(Just thinking out loud.)

Joining this thread late. I had a CS too. I had several hours of horrible labour pains (every 4 mins, regular as clockwork) all in my back - it was hideous and despite this I only managed to reach very early labour. They decided next morning that as my baby was still showing no signs of appearing (after 3 lots of that gel stuff) that he needed to be delivered by CS.

No I don't feel cheated - I'd planned a homebirth initially but some things are just not meant to be. The only thing I really felt was relief when they placed my gorgeous son in my arms.

However, that was MY experience and is not yours. Why won't they let you have a trial of labour just to see if it'll progress? Are you particularly small or is this baby on the big side? Just wondering as they don't usually rush straight in anymore.

Rochwen, yes you can request a section and your request should be honoured. You will be told about risks, but after that, if you still want to go ahead, that should be it.
Aragon, my God, it's agonizing isn't it?

I had emergency cs 1st time and when pregnant for 2nd time the consultant said they would not 'allow' me to go overdue so I would be "sectioned" (his word) if I went overdue this time. (Risk of pressure on wound. When I had my 2nd appointment with consultant nearer my due date it was a member of the consultancy team & he gave totally different advice.

In the end I saw 4 different members of the consultant's team & received 4 different opinions about whether I should have an elective section or whether I was 'allowed' to go over due.
In the end I took what seemed like a sensible route and had a planned section when baby failed to appear 7 days after due date.

Everything turned out fine and I have no lingering regrets except I wished I'd checked out the VBAC options more thoroughly. Faced with a medical situation like yours though there is no reason to feel regret at all. Giving birth is a huge deal but it's not the part of parenting that lasts or is hardest or is most worthwhile - i.e. having a c section does not make you less of a parent.

Good luck with it anyway

Aloha, really, it's that easy? I know of a friend who had a previous c-section and wanted another one but they requested that she did a 'trial-by-labour'. ..and trust me she was really assertive about wanting the c/s. I always thought you'd have to go private to get a c/s?

So, to sum up, should someone request a c-section, even if they don't have a medical reason for it, they will definitely get it. They can't legally be refused. Is that correct? Then why did they make my friend tbl even if she didn't want to and forcefully requested a c/s?

Because she didn't request forcibly enough? Because they wanted to meet "targets"? Because they were t**ts?

For the majority of consultants, maternal request for a c-section when a previous birth has been by c-section is enough of a reason to do one.

Can you get a c/s without any reason then?

I mean if they are that difficult with a mother with a previous one?

You may have to be pretty 'forceful' (as in, no, this is not acceptable. I insist on being booked in for a section. I want to see another consultant'' forceful) but yes, according to the NICE guidelines, women's choice should be respected. And previous CS is a medical indication for cs alone.

I had a planned section with my dd (nearly 7 years ago) as she was breech. I requested an elective section with my ds (17mths), as I developed an umbilical hernia it was put on my notes and nobody said anything until I saw the consultant at the last scan, and she went loopy and gave my dh and I a long rant about c/section complications etc etc and was extremely nasty and unpleasant to me. I tried very hard to hold back the tears and dh told her in no uncertain terms that I wanted a section and we had made up our minds, she eventually relented and I had my son by section 10 days later, thankfully we never saw that consultant again, although I did have a complication from the epidural and was quite ill for about 10 days aftewards. Oh and I don't feel cheated in the slightest that I missed out on labour as I have two healthy children, which I might not have had if I had gone for natural births.