Any reassurance on (gulp) tearing?

[misscreosote]

I'm planning a home VBAC in a couple of months after a pretty horrible induction experience last time ending in a crash C section and both me and DD staying in hospital for a couple of weeks. The only good thing about it is that I'm still intact 'down there'.

We've blown caution to the wind and got an independent midwife this time, so am feeling pretty reassured that, whatever course the birth takes, it will be the right course for me (and baby), if you see what I mean. So I'm getting my head around the pain, the mess, the possible complications that might mean I don't get a nice home birth, and have a hospital birth or another C section, and am generally pretty positive about the VBAC.

But, the one thing I can't quite get my head around is the potential for damage to my lady bits - especially after having read some pretty horrific stories of 3rd degree tears and subsequent complications on here.

I'm wondering, just how likely is a tear? Will it help that I will hopefully have pretty good midwifery care? Has anyone found that the fear of tearing has interfered with their willingness to push the baby out? I'm just panicking a bit, so any reassurance welcome pretty please! Its tempting to go for the elective C section, but I know there are possible complications with that and I'd rather just be happy with all possible aspects of the VBAC attempt really, to give it my best shot. Thanks in advance....

I tore with DS, but it was my fear of an episiotomy that led to that. Basically the midwife said that Ds's heart rate was dropping and she'd have to cut me if he wasn't out with in two pushes. One big push and he was out!!!

I really didn't feel the tearing and the stitching was fine with gas and air.

The worst bit was having my first poo. It wasn't until a week after the birth and it felt like everything was going to fall out.

With respect I disagree with 'There isn't anything you can do to predict a tear ' I think that the more that misscreosote thinks through what she wants to do as the baby crowns the more she will be able to control the situation, it's not fail safe, but having a plan and being well informed as to her options will enable her to contribute towards the way things go rather than being passive. I just wish that I had thought to ask about prevention of tearing before my first birth.

I am sorry to say I had a third degree tear (rotational forceps did a lot of damage) and it was traumatic both physically and mentally. There are a lot of complications with third degree tears that often lead to corrective surgery and beyond.

However that is not to say it will happen to you. Apprently only 2.5% of women in VBAC have a third degree tear.

I am not going to go into details but opted for an elective c-section and it was the best decision I ever made. It was calm I felt in control and my recovery was quicker with less pain or emotional distress then my first delivery.

Regarding perineum massage, the research I read suggested that it works in first and subsequent pregnancies, but if you have birthed without using it (basically if you want to try it in second pregnancies and after) then it only has a tiny improvement rate on non-massage births.

But I don't believe everything I read, so I don't know!

I agree Zorra, funnily enough I did it this pregnancy and had the feeling it wasn't doing much and that everything had been stretched by the first birth already and there wasn't much point. I did think being in the water helped as it softened everything up and also I pushed more gently probably.. It does make a difference not tearing, I will always be grateful for not doing, but on the other hand something has to give when you have a baby: I have really horrible red slash stretchmarks and a baggy stomach for ever now, we all have to get battle scars.

it is the luck of the draw, you could have an oddly positioned baby, but you can do p massage, also spend the labour in upright positions to increase chances of a good positioned baby, and read up on panting/non coached pushing etc. I certainly didn't have any kind of 'uncontrollable' urge to push, I was very much in control and didn't rush it, but again the water made that possible I think.

Cheers, I saw the midwife yesterday who looked horrified when I quoted the 75% figure to her, and said that her ladies didn't tear nearly that often or that badly (in general, of course....). She recommended the perineal massage as well, interestingly not necessarily because it streched you (she seemed to think a large factor was down to your skin type - she said she had one lady who tore a little every time she did the BD , goodness knows how she ever got through that to actually get pregnant!) - but because it got you used to the sensations you would feel when the crowning took place, so you would recognise it and know which bits to 'relax' at that point (which is the same as your point ilovesummer, are you a midwife in disguise?!). Anyway, all sounds sensible, and quite reassuring (even given that some women will have awful tears, at least I feel that I can do something to help and that the odds are more against a bad tear than for it IYSWIM, so the VBAC still sounds like the best option if it all works out that way). Thanks again all of you!

Hi - DD born (in hospital) with no pain relief (not a martyr to natural childbirth but hospital wouldn't let me in until it was too late to give me anything ), no intervention, no tearing - I did have a bit of what they bizarrely called "grazing!" but nothing that hurt afterwards. Had thought about perineal massage, bought the oil and then couldn't bring myself to do it, so put the fact that I was still in one piece down to great midwife. Good luck with it all.