Dreading Hospital considering HBAC, am 36 weeks?

[BumblBeee]

Any thoughts?

I have posted about VBAC before so sorry if I am being annoying.

I am trying really hard to be positive about a hospital birth but all the negotiation and randomness of the whole thing is making me miserable.

I really just want to have a peaceful birth with an experienced known midwife.

Am I being overly paranoid and pessimistic?

I must say I am getting more and more tempted to have another Caesarian. The other options seem so depressing.

What do the doctors/ midwives recommend BumblBeee?
A VB (even in hospital) does not have to be depressing! What are you most worried about?

trying to gear myself up with knowledge (so I don't need to rely on the midwives) is what makes the whole idea of birth seem less depressing and scary to me. The more I know and prepare myself the better i tend to feel! Have you read many books? Stand & deliver by Emma Mahony is pretty good and very easy to read.

BumblBee You need to do what is best for you and if you are anxious you won't labour well. However, I have to agree with mersmam and that arming myself with knowledge is what led to me going confidently into the birth of no.2 after having had a c/s agreed do to psychological reasons.

The more I read the more depressed I get to be honest.

Doctors say to have a VBAC with CFM. I don't want to have to labour with this but don't want to put myself in a dangerous situation either.

I can only really see myself labouring somewhere quiet with a pool and nice atmosphere as that is what I did last time at home.

BumblBeee It isn't really anything I know much about, but I do know that there are some very sensible people here who have had a HWBAC and WBAC and I presume that they didn't need to have CFM.

I think that I read some research somewhere that showed CFM really wasn't any safer than regular monitoring, but hopefully someone who knows more can direct you to this information.

Have you had a chat with any IMs? I know we've talked about it before and it may not be possible for you to use them - but I talked to a few before I booked and they were ALL really lovely ladies. They were all happy to chat (for quite a while) and talk through the situation with no strings at all. They had a different perspective on the situation, and it felt like the listened to my concerns and addressed them (rather than giving me the stock answer). At least one of them said I was welcome to call back and chat some more, even if I didn't book her (and this was after bending her ear for over an hour already). Or they were all happy to apear in person to talk things through (although they normally charged about £50 for that). They also tend to be very well informed and, in my experience, much more prepared to explain why the recommendations are in place and what the pros and cons of them are.

The ladies on the homebirthUK mailgroup are also very supportive - and there are plenty on there that have had to make this decision and have been given the same "choices" ("we recommend a VBAC, but we'll put on lots of strings so its not an attractive choice"), plus a fair few MWs. Even if HB is only one option you're looking at, they could well have some useful input.

Thinking of you, and hoping you can reach a decision your comfortable with.

BumblBee bear in mind also that just about every women feels TERRIFIED before giving birth, and in the vast vast majority of cases things turn out wonderfully!
I'm due in nine weeks and if I allow myself to get scared I am terrified... but I just keep trying to remind myself that thousands of women around the world are giving birth every day, it really is the most natural thing in the world.
I also think that it's generally a better experience 2nd time around for most people, I certainly felt much more in control of what was happening.
Try and focus on cuddling your new baby for the first time and just let yourself assume everything is going to be OK (there is absolutely no point in worrying yourself by thinking anything otherwise).
I really hope everything goes well for you (I think it will!) and even that you ENJOY the whole experience this time around!

Also bumblbee you might find that you have a super-fast labour and there won't be any time for any kind of monitoring at all!
Are you drinking lots of rasberry leaf tea?

Thank you all for being so very kind. I really appreciate it. It has made me feel a bit calmer.

I will try to phone or email some of the suggestions next week when I have finished work.

I went into hospital for a 'quick check' Thursday night and was there from 8PM to 3PM. I was waiting in some kind of overflow area which was effectively a corridor full of women in labour waiting for a birth room. It was awful.

This I think really upset me and made me feel very anxious about going.

I find that thinking about things is normally a lot worse than actually doing them Bumblbee

I've been thinking today about what I would do in your situation (feel free to ignore completely as I am obviously not you ) I think I would probably go exactly with what the drs suggest ('cause I suppose they really are the experts) and then there would be no way I could beat myself up later about not having done what's best for the baby. I'd also aim to have some kind of mild epidural, as the monitoring they are suggesting is going to restrict you from some of the more natural kinds of pain relief. I don't suggest this likely as I'm normally all for the natural approach, but I have two friends who've had brilliant experiences with mild epidurals when they've been forced to give birth in not quite the way they would have wanted. One had to be induced early with her DC4 and the mild epidural was suggested because she was very anxious about not being able to move around so freely etc... she said she could still feel the contractions but the edge was just taken away from the pain. She also said it was the best of her four births by miles. The other was having twins, and she said she could still feel the urge to push but the whole thing was just so much easier than with her first birth...

Anyway, I think that's what I would do... but as I said before it may just be so quick for you that there's no time for epidurals or anything else!