Hub2dee - sorry did not explain myself properly, you might think I am a cynic now........... what I was trying to say is that 98% of having a good experience is outside of the control of the mother and/or birthing partner.
Agree with you CarolinaMoon, being on a quiet, rather than busy ward helps - but, as you say, this is outside of our control.
At the end of the day it really is all down to whether you have a good/caring/experienced team of midwives/doctors - again, outside of our control.
What tends to happen is that you get a mix - some really great members of staff who do everything they can to make the experience as good/safe/memorable/happy as they can. Some people are lucky - and all the staff that care for them are like this. But you also get those midwives/doctors who are simply rude/overbearing/unpleasant/uninterested/incompetent - bullies in uniforms, and so on. Some people are unlucky, and many or most of the staff they encounter are like this.
Almost impossible to be vocal about poor treatment when you are in labour due to tiredness/drugs/focus on getting the baby out and so on. Almost impossible for the partner to be vocal about this too - unless they are very experienced - a doula or midwife or doctor themselves, they don't know what to expect anyhow, and staff tend to ignore them anyway, or try and blind them with science/jargon/technology.
So I suppose I'm saying that I feel it is really down to luck, or the woman or her partner being a midwife/doctor/doula.
Agree with Carolinamoon, unless partner is a midwife/doctor/doula - all they can really do is offer to hold hands, rub backs, and be undertanding..............
If maternity wards were run on the basis of satisfaction ratings more than half would be closed overnight!