Childbirth or elec c-section? Please help me decide!

[FruitynNutty]

I'm currently almost 26 weeks pg with DS2 and for the 1st few weeks I was desperate for a HB after reading/hearing such wonderful things about it.

However, I had a pretty crap labour with DS1.

At 41+5 (day before I was due to be induced) my waters broke completely by surprise but I had no contractions.
I had to be induced anyway and was in labour for 18 hours, gas and air, tens machine, epidural, had suction, forceps then emergency c-section.
I couldn't believe it when they told me DS was 9lb 12! He also got stuck as he was trying to come out with the side of his head first.

Obviously I've been told I shouldn't have a HB as its far too risky.

Ok, so now I've had a chance to think about my last birth and, stupidly, reading some real horror stories on here about 3rd,4th degree tears and incontinence, piles etc... I'm now wondering if I should just go for an elective c-section?
I recovered so quickly after my c-section and have had no trouble since.
However, I feel like I'll be missing out on actually giving birth. I feel like it's a bit of a cop out.

I just don't want to go through all that labour to end up with an emergency c-section after all.

Chances are I'll have another enormous baby, midwife has already told me I'm measuring 2 weeks over. People also always comment on how big my bump is.

I really don't know what to do.

Will I really be missing out on an amazing experience?
I do sometimes feel like I missed out last time.

I can't believe I was thinking about a HB and now I'm considering a c-section

OP - Have a good long hard think about what it is you actually want to do. Try to take out all the what if's and I should's and should not's. Thats really tricky I realise.

Maybe you think that any labour would be more experience and more life lived so to speak , that the whole labour thing is a big wave that could take any of us any where, and you are happy to let it go and ride it.

MAybe you feel that the only allowable. result of a vbac would be a dream vaginal delivery, and the only bearable section a planned on in relaxed circumstances.

2 different states of mind I think, but very simplistic I know.

Consultants are rarely enthusiastic about hospital vbac, and think women who want to hb positively selfish and irresponsible ime

What would they do with all that pay raise if we all did what we felt was right for us instead of being guilted into a seriously medicalised birth?

All I know is when I went to hospital with my first, my birth was pretty much identical to yours minus the emcs, which they did debate just outside my door (not with me you understand, I'm not important enough to be involved in such a decision).

I was traumatised, stitched too tight, and generally felt as if I'd had something removed from me, rather than given birth.

I now give birth at home, in water, without interference or difficulty, in my own time. It healed me.

Please do remember that if things don't go according to plan with a HB, the m/w will know well in advance that this might be the case and they will advise you accordingly of your options, blue-lighting you there where necessary.
They are rarely taken by surprise at things going awry and will act before it goes wrong iyswim.

treedelivery, IMHO labour is a short window of action that could potentially affect the rest of our baby's life, and our own, and that of our family in both those cases) for the worse.

Birth is a totally unpredictable process unique to each woman and baby. Nature employs natural selection so not everything will turn out perfectly. Fine for organic apples or carrots - but not for me, thanks!

Nature doesn't make special allowances for humans to have perfect births just because we are humans reproducing instead of mice or fish. Not all of us will make it unscathed, mothers and babies. That's why I am happy to have a highly medicalised birth personally, because giving birth is like giving yourself an operation.

That sounded really militant didn't it?!

I'm just worried. I just want the baby to be born safely, and after that I just want myself to feel "normal" instead of uncomfortable for months if not years after like some women do especially if they have had forceps or EMCS.

Of course you do - who doesn't? I never suggested you wanted to embrace and run huge high risk. I was refering to the states of mind I hear expressed here and else where, not medical scenarios. I was not suggesting that there should be no interevention where nature isn't going to turn things out perfectly, nor was I suggesting you should/ not have a medicalised birth.

I was looking at the very 'basic' thoughts we all have about birthing.

The point I was making is that for some of us, the idea of the unpredictable is not allowable, given our past experiences, particulary if there is a sense of 'pass' or 'fail' attached to the ultimated birthing outcome. As we all know birthing is unpredictable, and that should influence if you think vbac is right for you.

For others, the predictable and planned seem alien too, and can give us a sense of failure you were talking of, having not 'given it ago',even though the 'planned' and 'predictable' are NOT the easy options adn I don't think anyone here see's them as such. Planned LSCS still has costs and benefits, and one womans dream vaginal can still be all be traumatic to another due to the pain/staff/whatever.

I think it's helpful to know our own thoughts on this when making these decisions, as the facts and figures are usefull for guiding us - but actually, surely we really have the big interest in our own outcome. We can't know that, so we have to look at how each choice might affect us and make the best decision we can on the day.

Sorry if my response came across as if I were championing one or the other, entirely unintended. I've long given up trying to mind juggle scenarios and predict outcomes, now I look at what kind of person I am and choose options to compliment that.

It's really helped me choose my plan for this time round - 6 weeks to go.

Having had a VB first and an emergency CS second, my vote would be for the VB. Personally I'd be nervous about a HB-VBAC but if you feel confident then you should go for it.

Good Luck and Best Wishes

I'd totally decided vaginal birth. Now wobbling. How can anyone expect a pregnant person to make decisions anyway?

I had an em cs with DS and a very calm, organised planned cs with DD. I had a proper nights sleep the night before, family prepared to look after DS, only on paracetamol after 3 days and no bf problems.

I am concerned about the BFing. I didn't seem to have much milk at all with DS.
I blame PCOS/Thyroid probs and c-section
I really hope I have loads this time, I get so jealous of women who need to wear breast pads!
Whatever the outcome of the birth I will make sure he is clamped to me 24/7!

I was totally sure I'd have trouble there too. I hand expressed after every single feed for 10 mins to try and increase the supply. As a sort of preventative measure.

treedelivery I tried expressing but I could only get just under 1oz in 1.5 hours.
Every time DS was off the breast I would spend every moment I had expressing to try to increase supply but it didn't seem to work.
I think it's a different kind of suck compared to a baby's which is why so many women find expressing difficult.
Please keep me updated on your birth decision, When are you due? I'm sure you've said already but preg brain 'n all!

I wonder if I'll just see what happens on the day Birth plans tend to go out the window anyway. Mine sure did with DS.
Although if I wait to see what happens then it's a bit late for an elective c-section. Ooooh it's sooooo blardy difficult.
I agree, how can anyone expect a preg lady to make such important decisions?!

HI fruity, due 19th Jan so 35 weeks tommorrow. Was requesting section as my first barely fit! But was a vaginal straight forward delivery. It was the hour and half to put epidural in that caused me true distress.

From 28 weeks this time I really couldn't walk up stairs, turn over or lift a leg with pelvic pain. Have been convinced my pelvis would drop to pieces, I've even been leaking urine! YUK!

Was determined no way was pushing anything anywhere. Total tears and terror at midwife visits you can picture the scene.
BUT Then she went head down and since I've been much much more comfortable, so feeling more able to imagine puching a child out! Consultant Wed so will discuss then but I feel I'd like both cards on the table till nearer the time. Like 39 weeks!

It's so hard, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't I've decided. I hate making decisions. I'm a libran and need to debate for 10 years first!

Just in from work but we'll have to have a good chin wag about your feeding too, I think ounze and half is a fair amount of milk after a feed - but I guess that depends on if that was at a a few days or 3 months or something? How long did the breastfeeding go on?

Whilst this comment isn't really related to the OP I just wanted to pick up on comments such as

"I wanted to keep my pelvic floor intact and not suffer with incontinence"

I did lots of reserch into this as I had huge concerns and actually there is very little evidence that natural child birth causes problems, its more the carrying of the baby.

I think the biggest factor in any successful birth is the staff. Sadley that doesn't help you in your descision but I would make sure you have a consulant at the birth and as others have said a detailed birth plan. Good luck!

"I wanted to keep my pelvic floor intact and not suffer with incontinence"

Just for the record I did actually do this, my pelvic floor is as good as it's always been and I don't suffer with incontinence.I would say my caesarean did protect my pelvic floor.