Would I be mad to go into hospital without a birthplan? And also to not attend hospital tour?

[hattyyellow]

I had my twins 3 years ago by elective section due to breech positioning. Didn't have a birth plan, the midwives asked DH if I wanted to breastfeed and brought the babies into me as soon as I woke up from GA.

This time around I am hoping for VBAC. I hate to sound gormless but when I try and write a birthplan I feel that having never even experienced a contraction, I have no idea what I will want or how I will react to the pain and therefore what drugs/intervention I may or may not want/may be recommended to have.

I assume they will ask me if I want to breastfeed, so I don't know if I need to write a long paragraph about that. I'd like to have skin to skin as soon as possible, but I presume this would only not be done if there was something that needed to be checked/problems - in which case I'd rather that got sorted out first.

Is it hopelessly naive to go with the flow and ask for things as I need them/am advised to have them? I don't want to set myself up to expect things to go a certain way and to then feel let down that they haven't. I'm positive that I have a good chance of achieving a VBAC but I'm also being realistic that it might not happen and I might end up having another section. Particulary as the hospital will not induce me if I go overdue due to the previous section.

Re the hospital tour, its on a Sunday in 2 weeks when I'll be 38+ weeks. We have no one to look after DC that day, so I'd have to go up by myself and our nearest hospital is a long drive and I'm knackered and uncomfortable when driving at the moment. We went on the hospital tour last time around when we had the twins (different hospital) so I've seen labour rooms, wards and operating theatre for sections, plus the SCBU unit. I'm presuming this hospital is pretty much the same, size and age of facilities are similar.

Again, should I go? Any advice/experiences?

You don't need a birthplan but it may be nice to have something you/you partner/midwife could refer to. I thought of it as more of a birth aim - at the end of the day its what you hope will happen but you accept it may not. My fear was always that if you are too flexible/go with the flow too easily you will get what is best for whoever is on shift that night instead of what you want.

I didnt bother with either. With my first I just put I'd like to give birth in a upright position and bf and went on no hospital tour. With my 2nd I didnt write anything, just discussed with mw on arrival. I was wary about having a detailed 'plan' that went out the window.

you can use www.birthplan.com as a starting point.

It's worth thinking about, even if you don't use it or don't want to use it at the time, even if you just use it to get your thoughts in order. You can always change you mind, and change what you want at the time.

Didn't do the hospital tour and in the end it didn't matter as I never got to see the inside of a delivery suite (delivered in the observation room on the Labour ward).

My birth plan was v. simple - let me do my hypnobirthing and let me stand as much as possible - hypnobirthing was fine, standing was impossible! The only thing I know for sure is that birth plans almost never go as planned!

I had a look at the birthplan.com and it looks deadly, I really couldn't be doing with it! You can just do your own thing without all the fuss. No one saw me until I was 8cm dilated each time so a lot of it would have been superfluous!
I think it is much better to be on friendly terms and talk to people at the time. Handing out written instructions beforehand seems very cold and unfriendly-it makes the staff seem like the enemy! I think they are aiming for you to have a pleasant experience-if you let them!

Oh yes - do you want vaginal exams or not? Would you prefer a water birth?

Whether or not you decide to do a birth plan, an acronym you might find useful if any intervention is recommended is BRAIN:

What are the Benefits?
What are the Risks?
What are the Alternatives?
What does your Intuition say?
What happens if you do Nothing?

Thanks so much all for all your help and experiences - I've talked to DH and I think we will go with brief bullet points - reading through all your thoughts has made me realise there are some things that are important that we should make a note of.

Cheers again!

I didn't have a buirthpan as none of it goes to plan - it is something driven by the baby and your body and not something I think you can plan for.

As for the hospital tour you are in and out in 12 hours here so pointless exercise.

I have never had a birth plan, 3 kids, how can you plan for a unknown event.. Take it from me, as a nurse any one with a ridgid plan is seen as a bit of a loon anyway.
Ask for what you want when you want it and hopefully you will recieve.

As for hospital tour whats the bloody point, they all have beds, cots and same equipment, end of.....

As for all the "NATURAL BIRTH " freaks out there, what the hell is an unnatural birth anyway, and if you did it without drugs then dont boast, you were just lucky to be able to put up with it..

to hattyyellow, if you have a section you are still a mom arnt you?

if you bottle feed or breast feed you still love your baby the same dont you?

best of luck and love

depends, I am a real planner. I found it good to have a written list of preferences, which DH had and knew about, no episiotomy unless imminent really bad tearing, no breaking of waters without permission and explanation, not giving birth lying on my back, if synotocin then epidural first, etc, even if things didn't go to plan completely I had done the research and knew what I wanted. The list was more important for me so I could be assertive and balance what I wanted with what the midwives/doctor was saying they wanted to do, but it was good to write it down...

No, eminently sensible. If nothing is written down, midwives will have to ask at the appropriate time what you would like to happen, and should tell you the available options.

Just make sure you, and DP have the really big stuff decided e.g. accepting/refusing a blood transfusion.

I wrote a birthplan for DS1, but it never made it out of my hospital bag. I did have a tour of the hospital though.

With DTs I never even thought of writing a birth plan, I never set foot inside the hospital apart from to have my scans and I had no idea where to go when the taxi dropped me off in labour 2 hours before giving birth (DH was 1.5hrs away at the time!).

It all worked out ok!

Good luck Hatty!

Not mad at all. Think hospital tour is a nice thing to do if you are nervous but not remotely necessary as long as you know where the hospital is and have a rough idea where you need to enter it.

As for birth plan, mine was certainly never used and imo is a total waste of time. But you do need to consider the big picture questions and make sure that you (and DH most importantly) know where you stand on those.

My birht plan didt come out of my hospital bag, neither did anything else since dc2 was born at home as a surprise unassisted, caught by dh......

Hatty - I had my first 10 weeks ago and I didn't have a birthplan. I had a preference for trying a waterbirth though. I think it's best as I wasn't so hung up on getting a particular type of birth. I do think that it's important to think 'is there anything I really don't want?' and then you can deal with it if mw's etc try and go down that route. I think my birth experience was very calm because I wasn't stressing about getting the 'ideal' birth. In the end I was in the pool for the first few hours, then couldn't make it back because of pain after being examined, so had pethidine, and then just g&a for the rest. In a strange way I almost enjoyed it It is an incredible experience, so hope all goes well for your planned VBAC!

Don't worry about the hospital tour. I never got to attend the hospital tour with my son even though I was booked to go on one at 38 weeks. My son was born at 37 weeks.

Thank you so much all, this is really helpful. I've cancelled the hospital tour and Dh has taken DD's out for the morning so am enjoying a peaceful few hours on the sofa instead!

Have written down some bullet points for my birth plan to go through with the consultant on Friday - thank you all so much for your thoughts and experiences.