I feel a bit funny my childbearing days are probably over

[chocbiscuits]

well I was desperaely sure during my pg that I didnt want any more of that and was pretty keen on it all being over, now dd is out (and lovely) feel bit odd about it....
anyone else get that?

i did with DD2. witht this one, there's no more doubt in my mind, after three kids . . . i'm DONE.

i'm 38 in a few months and feel the need to move on to a new part of our lives focusing on the children, rather than on babies, and recovering my mental health for good.

am asking for referral for sterilisation at my 6 week checkup in a month.

i think you should hold off on any permanent contraception until you are 100% you are done having babies. no matter what.

I feel like that - I had my last child at 32, I am now 38. Would dearly love another one, but we just don't have the space in this house, can't afford to move, etc etc.

But I am soo broody it physically hurts

expat - how do they sterilize you? tie your tubes or a full-blown hysterectomy? and is it 100% safe? i'm interested cos i might not be able to persuade my dh to have a vasectomy...

ta

It's funny how many of us feel the same way. DD1 was a difficult (while healthy) pregnancy and a dreadful delivery, followed by a very demanding newborn stage. DD2 was much the same, even though the delivery was ultimately better.

DH has said to me that he feels that our family is complete now. He got me through the second pregnancy by telling me that I never had to do it again. To be honest the chances of me ever conceiving again are slim to nil - we've been so incredibly lucky to have two DDs considering our fertility issues.

So why do I look at my maternity clothes and want to hang on to them? Why do I say "never say never" when people ask? I don't have any hankering to "balance our family" with a boy. I want to go back to the real world when our DDs go to school. What on Earth is wrong with me?!?!?

I gave away all my baby clothes, blankets etc. The cot broke (I swung on it, don't ask me why, am 6ft 1 and 23 stone, what did I expect to happen ) and discarded the mattress. I sold the pram and the highchair, binned the carseats.

But I still have a baby cradle/bouncy chair thing in my loft and a Galt playnest. And I cannot bare to throw them out. They are the last (tenuous) link to my dc's babyhood...

I have a selection of murky looking stains on the soft furnishings to remind my of my DCs babyhoods!

mmm, I did not have that kind of forethought - I threw out the wee-accident carpet adn we go a new sofa when dd was 2. Foolish really, should have know I was going to pine for every baby-made smudge

Expat - the NHS down here are refusing till at least a year after the birth of your child and even then they prefer to fit a coil to tubal ligation. They have totally refused to consider me for surgery and I can't have a coil or the pill. So we are screwed (or not actually because we can't risk it!)

Oh, they take one look at my mental health case and told me just tell them when I'm ready .

I can't have the coil, either, because it makes my depression decend into the suicidal variety. Ditto the progesten-only pill. Or any progesten-based contraception.

And as I have hypertension, combined hormonal contraception is out.

Copper coil? I already have heavy periods and PMT, thanks much.

Can you go private for it, whomoved?

If I could I would because I'd have the Essure method.

warthog, no one does a hysterectomy for purposes of sterilisation. what is done is that the fallopian tubes are either clipped, cut (ligated) or a rod placed in them (Essure) to prevent fertilisation.

Could do, not going to. Mostly having a small baby who squarks every five minutes is an effective form of contraception - for now anyway

i might ask my GP to see if i can't go through to Edinburgh, which is the only place in Scotland i've heard of that's offering the Essure procedure on the NHS.

i know it's more common in some England PCTs, however.

DH offered to have the snip, but because of where we live, he'd have to take even more time off work to travel quite a distance to give samples.

i'd rather just have it all done in a day and not have to worry or bother.

having just had a ventouse delivery and 2nd degree tear, however, yeah, that's contraceptive enough for now .

I had a hysterectomy this year so I've felt like this a lot, especially as the choice was taken away from me. I have three children and feel incredibly lucky but there is a little sadness there.

I don't know if I would have felt that after any amount of children though. It is a big thing to think you will never do something so momentous again, even though it's replaced with other things.

I think it is something you have to grieve for - DD2 is definitely my last baby and although I know that logically that is sensible, I still feel sad knowing that that part of my life is over (and I feel old, and past it, and washed up, but those are my issues ). She is nearly 2 now, and it is starting to get better. It's not the broodiness of wanting another baby, it's the grieving for such a lovely part of life being gone.

def natural to feel grief, loss for something.

i remember feelign like i wanted to put my baby back into my womb, after a few days!!
I had spd badly, and thought i wouldn't want anymore.

i can't have any more now as no dh on the scene, plus i am nearly 40 and realistically even if i had a dp i would question wether my health were up to it.

It's to do with getting older for me, i am older, suddenly, and it ook such i long tiome to get here, and now my baby making days are thinning out.

loss for definite.

I've just given birth to my second baby and know in my heart of hearts that she will be our last. Neither of us want more than 2 children really. I have had a fairly grim pregnancy this time around. And I'm not sure I'd want to have a third c section. However, I still feel sad thinking that my DD will be my last baby.

This thread completely sums up how I feel at the moment. Its actually all I think about. DS is 8 months and before now I had never felt broody. But now I think about it all the time. DH definitely doesn't want any more children and I think its best for our family not to, but for me I feel so so . It has been the thing that has made me happiest and knowing its over unbearable.

I have decided to think about it again when DS is one and see how I feel. I'll be just short of 35 then, but then I also didn't have good pregnancies and had two CSs. I just cannot except I will never be pregnant and have another baby again. And its not just the baby bit, at 4 DD is still wonderful, so I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.