Which is the most painful... Probably a daft question!!!

[barbareebaa]

Hello!
Not long to go before I hit my due date (11th) and have been thinking a lot about what's going to happen when I give birth(as you do!)

Anyway I was just wondering whether it is the contractions that hurt the most or the actual physical sensation of pushing the baby out?

Or maybe I should just wait and see...

Thanks in advance,
Bx

All of it Definitely worth the pain though

I stayed at home and mooed like a cow every time I had a contraction for 24 hrs before being persuaded to go the hospital - where I had my internal - which for me is the most vivid memory of the whole labour experience in terms of pain. She was telling me to relax, I thought I was and I wasn't really expecting it to hurt - but it really did - my DP was alarmed at my reaction too - and boo hoo - was only 1 cm dialated and sent home again....another 20 hours mooing through those contractions with paracetamol and a wheat bag for company. When we finally went back down the next internal didn't hurt much and thankfully was 8cm this time. The contractions were a breeze once I had gas and air, wished I'd had it earlier cos they were a really painful two days at home.

The next really painful bit I can remember is when they broke my waters for me because even after all that time they'd still not gone (a tough sac apparently)- then blimey a big woosh and relief and then ohhhh, the pressure - it felt like the baby was going to come out of my bum! Following 2 hours of pushing and threats with the forceps they finally did an episiotomy which I didn't feel cos of LA so I can't comment on the crowning sensation, but the feeling of the baby 'slithering' out was absolute bliss. I can remember the pain of the contractions but it was all absolutely worth every second. Had always expected to need an epidural - but it was bearable without. Sorry - turned into a bit of labour story.

ive had five birth children and i never had a painful labour/birth.for me it felt like being constipated; uncomfortable,annoying, but not agony.had induced births, had ventouse delivery and a breech delivery,with baby still in membrane (weird one that was, didnt even realise i had the baby untill they showed me)dont listen to the horror stories, lots of girls have little or no pain.tips 4 labour 1)dont panick,it can actually cause pain that u wouldnt otherwise feel, 2)stay upright and move about(gravity helps a lot)3)silent whistle during crowning,helps slow things down so ur less likely to tear.
(remember giving birth is what u are designed to do, if it was really as bad as u are led to believe everyone would stop at one baby.)good luck 2 all u soon to birth mums out there!!!!

Just as a matter of interest, if there are any doctor/midwife people reading - does anyone know why they don't automatically give you a local anaesthetic in the perineum just before the actual birth? Strikes me that so many people find the actual stretching and crowning as the baby comes out absolutely awful. Someone mentioned having a LA as she needed an episiotomy, and this stopped her feeling the crowning. A LA wouldnt be a huge intervention; it wouldnt medicalise or slow down the birth like an epidural might, it could be administered by the midwife... just seems a bit obvious really. I went all through 24 hours of contractions on G and A, and I honestly would do it again tomorrow, no problems, but the crowning was hell on earth. Is there any reason why women couldnt routinely be offered a shot of local anaesthetic around the vagina shortly before the baby is likely to appear?

that's interesting starlight.
Is it better to tear but not feel it because you've been given a LA, or to feel the agony of crowning but NOT tear...... Guess it's all a case of weighing up the pros and cons!

For me the worst bit was the last bit of dilation. It was made even more horrific by my thinking it was going to get worse. Pushing was a breeze in comparison.

Findtheriver - I spent my entire obstetric placement wondering that as a medical student. When I asked the consultant obs they basically said "oh that's an idea, we ought to do a study on whether it improves women's perceptions of delivery."
I think it would be beneficial. The Drs can't be arsed loking at it because it's tinkering with normal labour - which is not their domain and isn't going to get them noticed much in terms of CVs etc. Midwives wouldn't go there as it is over medicalising labour.

The problem is that there is so little love lost between the two groups and it's mothers who lose out as a result.

Lol Tallulah about the mooing. I did the same just after my waters broke and the pain ramped up. The midwife asked whether I needed to bear down or whether 'that was the noise I usually made during contractions'.

Usually made?!! First baby, how the hell should I know? .

The crowning was definitely the worse pain I have ever felt. Ha bloody Ha to Miriam Stoppard and her ilk who write about the perineum area being numbed by the stretching!!!

Personally I found the very last stage the most painful when the head was crowning and it needed one or two pushes to actually birth my daughter were I co-operating at that stage (I wasn't). But it was only a few seconds after that before DD was bon and the rest is bearable with pain relief/support. I was fascinated instead of repelled to see the placenta being hauled out of me after the the rigours of the past few hours.

I found the pushing bit very painful and exhausting as my DS was back to back. I just wanted to cross my legs (and did at one stage) cause I didn't want it to come out. By the time I heard the words assisted delivery I had lost the urge to push so had the drug that helps make contractions stronger, I had to be cut anyway as I had ventouse and forceps delivery so I didn't feel any crowning (or was too high on gas and air to remember!) and I am glad cause it sounds very painful. You will begin to manange contractions after a while, I defo found the pushing horrible. Good luck xx

i remember two parts of the whole process being as equally painful. when i was in transition the contractions didn't even seem to end. it was just constant and i hated feeling all the pressure. trying to relax through it was really hard because it just felt like i was pooing the whole time . the other part that hurt the most was when ds was moving down before the actual crowning. i could feel everything stretch and the bones in my hips felt like they were separating. the crowning was over in seconds so that wasn't as bad. seems like everyone has different perceptions of the worst part so hopefully it'll all just be a breeze for you!

Contractions at transition for me for sure all four times. With DB1, I described myself as being in a homicidal rage when DH inquired if I was OK... Most of the rage was directed at the midwife who would not believe that I was nearly fully dilated...

Pushing was a breeze: three pushes for DB1 and 2 for the others.

hello again
Well today is my due date and nooo sign of any labour action!!

Happy birthday Salo! I know it seems daft to want to know about the pain but actually it has so helped reading everyones experiences and has taken away a lot of the fear.

Alot of my friends have had kids and some of them have refused to tell me about their labours ('you don't want to know' kind of thing) and others have relished in telling me the gory details (especially since I've been pregnant). I just wanted to get a 'real' idea.

I think as well I've seen birth programmes and the women are screaming and I think thats quite scary. I wanted to understand why.

Maybe I'm just a control freak

So a huge massive thank you to you all for sharing your experiences. I will continue to read as I wait for the big day to arrive

I am truly looking forward to it - without fear - as I feel so much more prepared for it now - will post here again when my baby has arrived and let you know how I got on!

x

Blimey, I can't believe they are making us all do without a local anaesthetic on the old fanjo area simply because they couldn't be arsed to do a research study. It's clear from this thread that a huge proportion of mums really hate that bit. It certainly occupies my darker thoughts at the moment as well.

Has anyone tried hot flannels on the perineum during crowning? Does it work? Or is that on a level with taking an aspirin to numb the pain of having your leg cut off?

BTW I agree that Miriam Stoppard lied lied lied.

Before I frighten Barbaraeebaa any more, it only lasts a short time, so you'll be OK, it's just that the medics could do much more to make this acceptable in our view.

I didn't have any pain, some women don't and some hypnotise themselves into not having any, honestly, I've had worse hangovers....baby didn't sleep for 2.5.years though in case you all think I'm a smugoid!!!

Poohbah, tell me immediately how you managed to do this because I think it is amazing and I want to learn NOW!

I don't remember it being painful at all - contractions were really intense and like very strong period pains, sort of overwhelming rather than painful - relaxing into them and using hypnobirthing affirmations really helped. I also got in my bath which was wonderfully relaxing - I think the more tense I was, the more intense the contraction was.

The pushing bit was a lot longer than I thought it would be - I thought 1/2hour, but it was 2.5 hours and I was exhausted. Was not painful though just super tiring and seemed impossible. It may have been less long if I'd remembered my hypnobirthing by that stage - ie don't push, just let your body do it in it's own time.

Of my NCT group, 2 of us had our babies at home and we both thought contractions were like intense period pains. All the ladies who went to hospital said contractions were excruciatingly painful (sorry) - I think cos we were in familiar surroundings with only 1 or 2 'strangers' (midwives) we were more relaxed so we did not experience contractions as pain.

Best of luck - it's a bizarre experience but afterwards you get a gorgeous wee bairn!

btw the 2.5 hours pushing meant no tearing as DS emerged slowly (cord round neck and with hand by cheek!!) - so it was positive really!

The only thing I would have done differently would be to eat more in the early stages because as I was in the pushing stage I felt hunger pangs - my body needed more energy but I could not eat.

sorry, waffling now...

It all hurts!

The contractions are the worst, I'd say, especially at transition. You don't know when they will end, so can be frightening too.

I didn't feel the crowning with DD1 as I needed a ventouse, so the sensation came as a shock with DS. That STINGS, but at least you feel you're getting somewhere and it's exciting!

The exam afterwards was really sore too.

Totally worth it though, and was actually easier without pain relief, because you feel better afterwards much quicker, and you can focus on pushing.

Sambo's so right about eating early. Nothing worse than REALLY wanting a sarnie whilst pushing in the pool!

I've never heard of anaesthetic on the perineum either! Glad I didn't have that because the sensation of my son's hair against my fanjo after his head came out was the most incredible and moving thing I've ever felt. I get tearful thinking about it even now.
I was lucky though, only a 1st degree tear and no stitches. (woo hoo!)