3rd degree tear, long recovery last time, about to discuss elective c-section for No. 2 with consultant at 38 weeks need advice!!!

[fothergill]

I am 38 weeks and just moved from London to Nottingham (don't ask) to have the baby and have suddenly been offered by the hospital chance to discuss option of elective section at the new hospital. Last time I had 3rd-4th degree tear (she was furious fast birth with a massive head, 8lbs7 whereas I am size 8)which took a long time to heal.
Until today I didn't think a section was even an option so am completely frozen as to what to do. My last experience just took so long to recover from in every way, that my initial response was intense relief - but am also terrified I will make the wrong decision as it is obviously not guaranteed I will tear next time. I am at mother in laws so have help on hand for recovery from surgery so that is not such a factor in deciding but can anyone tell me risks either way??
What to do?!

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first, fine with second (but much earlier, 35 weeks). Also two elective CSs (first v good, second more painful).

You'll get lots of different advice, because people have had such vastly different experiences.

I've never had a vaginal birth, so have nothing to compare it with, but I have had a c-section and wouldn't willingly go through that again. The recovery was fairly lengthy and it is major surgery, with a wound that will need plenty of time to heal. On the plus side, I guess if you are feeling extremely anxious about a vaginal birth, then a c-section is quite quick and straightforward. But if it's recovery you;re thinking about it, c-section definitely isn't an easy option.

Good luck whatever you decide x

Something else to add to the mix... My 1st child was 10 days overdue (the 'tear' baby) and that was only because my waters were broken, 2nd child was a section at 39 weeks because that was the latest they would go for. 3rd child (vaginal birth) was 2 weeks late.

2nd baby always felt like she was too early. She was completely flustered by feeding and it took several weeks to get her happily breast feeding. I think it was only because I had done it for my first that I perservered. And she seemed a newborn for longer than the others.

It seems that my babies take a little longer so that the 2nd baby could in theory have been born 3 weeks early based on the other two and this would explain her being 'unprepared'.

I did ask the consultant in discussion re. number 3's birth if I could wait until I went into labour naturally and then have a section and he replied that it was his 'worst nightmare'. That it could do a lot of damage pulling the baby up from the birth canal. This doesn't really make sense to me but I was too pregnant and anxious to query him at the time!

changer - when I was discussing vaginal birth vs C section my plan was to go into labour naturally, but have a section if things started going wrong (so that I wouldn't end up with induction/instrumental etc.). I asked whether there were any circumstances where I couldn't have a C section and one of those was where they would have to pull the baby back up the birth canal. Just as your consultant said - it has a lot of risks for the baby (and the mother). I suppose that the issue would be if you laboured very quickly (quite common in second deliveries) and there wasn't time to get you into theatre before you had entered the second stage.

MrsMattie - I completely agree with you. That's the problem with labour, there are plenty of women who have great C section experiences, and those who have complications. There are women who have wonderful empowering vaginal births and those who have tears. And you never know which you'll be until it's all over!

I just wanted to say to MTM that I had a wonderful empowering birth WITH a 3rd degree tear.

Its still my greatest acheivement in my life as sad as that might sound to some people. I fought so hard for my vbac and am thankful every single day that I avoided another csection.

I think everyone has different priorites. Some want to avoid tears. Some want to avoid csections. Some want to avoid iduction. Some want to avoid instrumental deliveries. Your decision should be based on whats most important to YOU.

Thank you babymt - I'm so biased because my perineal wound healed badly that I forget that most people heal well.

I'm glad that you had such a lovely VBAC too.

Thanks for all stories. Its really made me want to go for nb and I am in awe of those of you that went for it second or third time after the bad first birth but I just worry about having another two years of probs with sex when I just got it ok again...I was talking about it with my boyfriend last night (who is the most patient man in the world) and I think I am going to ask if I can go past my due dates as far as 14 days then have an elective. My thinking is that if I go into labour naturally I take my chances - that if not induced, hopefully the birth a bit more controllable and if coached well will avoid tearing badly again...but that I am raising my risk of tearing wtih a late baby that is induced so go for the section at that point. They prob say no anyway!
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I am driving everyone here completely nuts. My mother in law must wonder what she let herself in for!

A final note - I gave birth on my side which I had read would slow things down a bit and make the delivery more controlled. Might be worth bearing in mind if your labour is quick.

Looking forward to your birth anouncement...

Having had an fruitful meeting with consultant I have now agreed to have a sweep one week overdue (in two weeks)then reassess at 12 days overdue (the latest they will go)and if I do want to go for cs to avoid induction at that point they will give me one. If I want to go for nb I will be allocated senior care and apparently she will try to give me a midwife that won't take any nonsense from me to see me through pushing(that is good, if you know what I mean) so I am relieved that (unlike Kings) I seem to be in control of all options to the end!
So I still don't know what I will do but she reassured me its unlikely I will tear badly again and I prob will go with my instinct to have natural birth again.
Fingers crossed!

Think that sounds like a good plan. My first time was horrible, second time was almost like one of those cheesy textbook births. Without sounding too evangelical about it, I did feel really empowered to have had the birth I wanted 2nd time round. Hope you have a good one too - come back after the event and let us all know how it goes.

I did it!!
Just for the record and for anyone looking for the same advice - I went for vb. I was basically persuaded by a calm consultant that I would be fine and I would be helped by senior midwives throughout so I thought I would bite the bullet.Cecily was born 6.25am on the 11th after 6 hours. 8lb12 and although her head came through fine I did get a 1st degree tear as her shoulders came out badly. But that's ok I think.
So. I had a sweep at one week over and thank God went into braxton hicks straight after. The contractions were 5min apart by 1am but bearable. They stayed 5 mins apart until transition when the old gas and air came out. She came out in about 3 contractions with 3 midwives and my partner shouting at me 'BREATHE IT OUT' somehow I found the strength/intelligence not to push and she came out quickly but at my body's will. I tore on the old scar but they said it was unfortunate that I tore at all as her head came out fine. The piles. Yes the piles are another tale!
Such a different birth I am so pleased I can leave with a better memory. She's gorgeous.
Good luck to those who need it!