Help! 38 weeks, I suddenly have to have a C-section - is it too late to think about going private?

[SSMulligan]

I'm 38 week's pregnant with my first baby, and had a natural birthing-pool birth planned in my local NHS birthing centre (at UCLH) Unfortunately, there are some problems, and I've just had a scheduled c-section confirmed - for next week!
I have a great relationship with my midwife, and think the birthing centre is wonderful - but my experiences with the rest of the hospital haven't been great (long delays, lost notes, lost blood tests etc). I don't doubt their medical expertise and that the attention I get during the surgery will be exceptional - it's the after-care which I'm concerned about. I've heard some real horror stories, particularly about care post-caesareans, and one of my good friends, a year on, still gets upset when she talks about her experiences there.
I'm lucky that I have insurance which enables me to consider going private - but I'm really up against time limits.
have any of you gone through this and can give me some advice? is it too late to start calling private consultants on monday morning and see if any can take me on board? (and if not, can anyone recommend any?)
I know this may seem like a trivial concern - after all, my main concern should be (and is) that my baby and I are both healthy and safe. but I react terribly to drugs and surgery and really need the recovery days immediately after the surgery to be as comfortable as possible.
or am I just overreacting to my experiences - and those of my friends?
any advice at all is welcome. thank you, Sal

Hear hear twinkle As she says, the Portland offer fantastic support and J&Ls have the most lovely counsellor, whose fees are included as part of the package. I saw her throughout my last pregnancy (largely for grief counselling - I had just lost my Mum but we also covered my previous difficult birth). If you wanted to see her but go to another hospital, you can do so through Viveka (a holistic health centre in St Johns Wood with very close links to J&L. Viveka. Her name is Ann Hereboubt.

You may also want to consider a hypnobirthing course to try and "reprogramme" some of the negative associations your mind is very naturally going to have following what you endured. I am doing a one day programme with a lady called Lisa Hatton at the end of the month. Can't recommend as yet - but hopefully it will be good. There are lots of different providers. Lisa Hatton Just a suggestion, it's certainly not for everyone.

I am aghast at how you were treated. It is all too common. Some but not all m/ws get sucked into this culture of viewing post-partum women as a pain in the neck - rather thamn humans who have just performed the most amazing (and important!) feat in the world and who need a little TLC and respect.

Wishing you all the best and if you need any other support you can find me on the Dec 08 babies board.

SSM - congrats on your new arrival and really pleased you had such a good experience

TA - I'm so sorry you had such an awful experience last time. It makes me very sad, shocked and angry on your behalf .

I used Independent Midwives for the birth of my DD when I found the NHS to be somewhat less than supportive - and they were absolutely fantastic. You get to choose a midwife you feel comfortable with and trust, who will provide all your ante- and post-natal care as well as delivering your baby themselves. There's a lot more time to go through any fears and concerns and to discuss how you'd like different aspects of the birth handled and what might necessitate a change to that plan. Not all IMs are prepared to support a (planned) hospital birth - there are an assortment of issues wrt insurance from both sides, but some are happy to come in a doula rather than MW role while still providing ante- and post-natal care. Many have a different perspective on risks regarding home births and IMs will frequently support women that the NHS terms "high risk" in their quest for a home birth - which many women find very healing after a traumatic previous birth. If you are interested you can find out who's near you here.

Turnip, twinkle and tangle- thanks so much for all your fantastic suggestions and support. It really is heartening to know that there are people out there who can help me have a positive birth experience. I really do think I need counselling, its been 3 years since dd was born and I'm still not over her birth. Infact I dont think I ever will be. I know I am not the same person I was before i gave birth. I used to have quite a sunny nature and was quite upbeat and positive about life. Infact I assumed I'd have a straightforward birth and would be in and out of hospital within a few hours. Instead I left hospital after a week in a wheelchair- unable to walk. What amazed me the most about the midwives on my NHS postnatal ward was that none of them seemed to have read my notes. I was put in a postnatal ward with women who'd had straightforward births and yet I was unable to sit up (it took days for the spinal they gave me in theatre to wear off properly) I couldnt walk from the torn ligament where the midwives manhandled me and had had 4 blood transfusions so felt really quite unwell. I couldnt reach out to pick up my baby and whenever I rang the bell for help (to try and feed crying baby!) a midwife would eventually storm round and ask why I didnt get out of bed myself! All the other women in the ward didnt understand why I couldnt get up to comfort my crying baby either which was distressing. I was discharged and basically left to get on with it. A midwife visited me once after I gave bith and I mentioned how much pain I was in, she just told me to make an appointment with my gp and didnt check my stitches. It transpired I had a raging infection which took weeks to clear up. From what you are all saying it sounds like if I had the baby privately, or employed an independent midwife I would get any postnatal treatment I needed without being made to feel like I'm making a fuss. To know that I would be looked after by caring professionals is all I want, and I dont think its to much to ask!
I know some women have positive birth experiences on the NHS bad sadly I think they're in the minority.

How I've gone on again!

theautomatic

Your story is so sad and unfortunately so common. I ended up with ptsd after the birth of my dd1, largely as a result of the harsh treatment meted out to me on the postnatal ward where I was made to feel like a thorn in the midwives' sides, rather than someone who'd just undergone an emergency cs and general anaesthetic.

With nightnannies, again book early and interview a few - I used two after dd2 who both ended up causing me more stress than they were meant to alleviate. Long story but I had to sack them both as it was easier to do it myself - and I am by no means a control freak. So choose as early as possible, knowing someone's at hand to help will make a big difference. Good luck with it all, I'm sure your recovery will be far easier this time.

oh TA . I just can't believe you received that treatment in the UK in the 21st centrury. And we're meant to be civilized .

Just to clarify (which I think you know, but its possible to read your last post a couple of different ways). An IM will not plan to be physically with you 24/7 after the birth. From my experience, however, they also would most definitely not leave you in that state with no support (when I transfered to hospital for stitches and blood loss, one came with me and didn't leave till I was all sorted and resting). I saw either one or other of my two IMs every day for at least a week - they usually stayed about an hour and checked DD for any problems, checked my stitches and had a chat to keep a quiet eye on whether or not I was getting closer to PND. As DH and I gained confidence (and the MWs were happy) the visits tailed off, but I could call them 24/7 from 37 weeks till I was discharged 4 weeks after the birth and if I'd had any serious concerns they would have come for an extra visit.

Even if you're not sure the IM package is right for you, your family and your concerns you won't loose anything by talking to a few - I chatted to a couple before I met any, some for over an hour, and they were all more than happy to discuss my situation as far as they could when I wasn't a client and offered to do the same again regardless of my decision on booking them. Costs vary with package and around the country, but you're looking at about £3k.

As an aside, have you come across the Birth Trauma Association? I can't imagine going through the birth you had, but I'm concerned about the impact your previous experience could have on your next birth.

Fingers crossed you can find the support to help you relax and have a better experience this time round, wherever it comes from.

well, thanks to all your fab advice I have started my research! (thanks again tangle and twinkle, you are legendary!) Have been looking at lots of websites on night nannies, maternity nurses and independent nannies. And the cost is really quite reasonable, and I'm sure worth every penny. I wish I'd known about mumsnet sooner because without question, I would have made use of some of these services. I was just chatting to dh now and pointing out how much better things would have been if we'd had someone to help us with night feeds when I was crippled up. He feels a bit guilty because he too didnt know about maternity nurses etc. Apparently there are lots of "new mum welcome packages" available which sound ideal.

Tangle- yes I to am worried about the impact my horrific first birth will have on me when give birth again. I think though, the main thing for me is knowing that I wont be left to suffer in agony again while trying to look after a newborn. That was the worst thing first time round, trying to look after a much wanted baby while popping painkillers every couple of hours just so I could get through the pain. Having to try and get my midwife to check my stitches as though I was making an unreasonable request and basically spending the first few weeks or so camping outside my doctors surgery to try and get some pain relief. I think oganising help whether its a night nurse, maternity nurse etc will make me worry less.

Twinkly- I'd be really grateful if you could post the details of the lady who's helping you. Thanks again.

I can only second what turniphead said about Viveka. It's the most extraordinary set up and truly phenomenol. I had lots of difficulties falling pg with #2 and when I finally saw the team at Viveka they did everything in their power to help a) get me to hold onto a pregnancy and b) deal with the psycological effects of being pregnant. Unfortunately I could only afford to stay under them until I was 12 weeks but in that time I was seen by them weekly when I transfered back to the NHS, watford general who incidently have been superb both times I have given birth there.

I can only second what turniphead said about Viveka. It's the most extraordinary set up and truly phenomenol. I had lots of difficulties falling pg with #2 and when I finally saw the team at Viveka they did everything in their power to help a) get me to hold onto a pregnancy and b) deal with the psycological effects of being pregnant. Unfortunately I could only afford to stay under them until I was 12 weeks but in that time I was seen by them weekly when I transfered back to the NHS, watford general who incidently have been superb both times I have given birth there.