What would happen if you didn't push?

[MarkStretch]

Just wondering.....

You get to the point when you just have to! I was trying not to, because I was still trying to get the midwife to see the urgency! When she finally took me seriously I said, in desperation, 'can I push?'She said yes and he was born. She put second stage of labour 2 minutes, but I think it was less than that!

even with a forceps delivery (and episiotomy) i was instructed to push. That was a bit of a joke with the epidural but apparently it was crucial for me to try. ??

When I had DS I couldn't feel the contractions once the epidural was (thankfully) put in, and the machine that was meant to monitor them was saying there weren't any (the midwife was unsure that it worked properly ), so I stopped pushing and the doc came and I had a ventouse delivery.

your body just sort of takes over and pushes anyway, imo. I didn't have anyone around to tell me to push and I think my body just sort of took over and did what it had to. (unplanned unassisted home birth)

With DD labour, I was at home for most of it - all seemed to be going well - I was totally in-the-zone, semi-conscious deep breathing through contractions and could feel her moving down. Didn't need pain relief, but had absoutely no idea how far dilated I was.

Went to the loo, then swoooosh - waters broke with a very audible POP - and bub moved right down THUNK and I immediately had an overwhelming urge to push.

Somehow got into car and DH drove to hospital, with me lying in back of car trying NOT to push, but really, really wanted to as each contraction came.

Was 10cm on arrival at hospital. However - to get baby out, I really did have to PUSH with the contractions. She was born 20 mins later. Just on 8 pounds. Slight graze, no tearing. Was amazed by the physical experience! But yes - urge to push, and actual pushing are two different things

With DD I did not want to push and resisted the urge and towards the end of each contraction my body pushed by itself and I could feel her coming down. I would have been happy to let the labour continue that way as it felt much gentler but DD's heartrate was dropping so much I had to push to get her out quickly. Turns out the cord was tightly round her neck, twice. If it wasn't for that I believe my body would have pushed her out by itself!

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I'm another who had no urge to push at all, but then I had no feeling of the contractions either.

When I became fully dilated I suddenly felt a bit 'whoozy' and the MW examined and said it was time to start pushing. When she told me to push I said "I can't" - I think she thought I was saying couldn't stand to push but it was simply that I didn't have the urge and so didn't know when to.

In the end I waited til I felt the little wave that came over me, pushed into my bottom then, and dd was born after 30 mins of that. Once her head was out I reached down and pulled her body out and placed her on my chest - wonderful experience

When I had dd2 I didn't do any pushing. I felt "something" in my body push by itself but personally I think lying back on a bed and trying to push often does no good (as I found saw it the first time around...)

When in labour with my DS, they noticed 2 hours into 'pushing' that the wee man had managed to get himself lodged in my pelvis (shoulder dystocia). I was rushed 20 miles doe intervention. I was told under no circumstances was I to push, but my body automatically kicked in a I couldn't stop it.
xxx

I had no urge to push and pushed for 4 hours. I was advised to stop pushing as dd wasn't descending at all. I was transferred to hospital and given various interventions (episiotomy, 3 ventouse attempts, attempt at manual rotation) and not once did I have an urge to push or did my body push on its own. After 6hrs of dd refusing to come out I had an em cs. It's just one of the things I play over and over in my head about the birth. I feel quite sad that I'll never know what that irresistible urge is that people talk about and sad that my body didn't seem to know how to do it on its own.

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Read The Waterbirth Book I read it after I had Lily-Hope and was amazed that it explained what I had gone through with her birth. I had planned on using it as my birth plan when I was pregnant with Tink, but she had her own idea and was CS. I didn't push, I raised my hips so I was taking my weight on my shoulders and feet. I was more trying to pull her back in I definitely want into that primal place when I was in labour.

with dd2 when it was time, i asked the midwife when i should start pushing and she just told me to do what i felt was right.i didn't really push, just went with it and she popped out after 3 contractions.

i was whooping 'come on baby!' in between each one!! it was brilliant and very unlike ds1 who was induced with epidural and i did have midwives shouting "push! push!" for an hour, and it still went to forceps delivery.

Hey Sunny, It took about 40mins to get to the other hospital, my body automatically pushed, the midwife who came with me kept monitoring my DS heart beat and kept suggesting to the paramedics that we needed to get there as soon as possible. The gas & air ran out in the ambulance, I'd had a pethadine injection about 5 hours earlier...who needs pain relief ? Anyway, eventually arrived, minus my hubby who wasn't allowed in the ambulance, so had to try and follow in the car.

They took me into the operating theatre and gave me a spinal block, asked me to sign a disclaimer (what?) and then hacked away at me, eventually taking two male nurses to hold me under each arm, as the consultant tried to pull my DS with forceps, I slid down the table with the amount of force being used. They dragged my DS into the world leaving him physically scared and me emotionally scared.

Sorry for hijacking. I should be on the birth trauma thread

xxxxxx

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I don't remember being frightened. I do have blanks in my memory though. I was strangely calm.

xx

Wow this is such an interesting thread! Showofhands - my own experience giving birth to my first dc sounds identical to yours, and although second dc was evetually born vaginally after ventouse I didn't really feel any urge to push then either; just a good couple of hours of vein busting effort!

Northumberlandlass I'm really reading about your experience. I too was had a very traumatic labour ending in being dragged along the bed by forceps and eventually an emergency cs. I can't believe they just patch you up and send you on your merry way with no support/explanation after these things happen .

I had an overwhelming urge to push at 5cm (something to do with the position ds was in I think, all a bit of a blur). The stroppy consultant came in and issued the order for a drip to be put in and epidural to be administered. Really didn't want an epidural so begged the midwife not to do it.

She gave me the option of pethidine instead (which I also didn't really want) so went for that.

It did kill the urge to push for about 3 hours and made me very sleepy. Conractions continued at a slower rate but was still dialating well.

The urge to push returned so I pushed like blazes for 3 hours, DS came down a little with every contraction but then went back up!

Sroppy consultant charges in and declares she will try with ventouse but only if I do my bit and push properly like a good girl. Also had to be prepped for a c-section in case ventouse does not work.

So, in we all troop to the theatre (I've pretty much lost it by now and can't stop crying) ventouse refuses to stick to DS's head so its in with the forceps. The feeling of having a baby dragged from my body still makes me feel a little queasy.

Unless I misunderstood it, it seems that DS was in a awkward position and just could not descend. At the time I was just so releived to have avoided a c-section.

The resulting bruising made every midwife who saw it wince. I didn't bother to get a mirror and see for myself!

Women in comas can still give birth vaginally, e.g. Abigail Witchalls - it's an automatic response. Apparently active pushing just tweaks things a bit.

Which I find reassuring given that I worry when people say 'just listen to your body' - my body never tells me anything! It couldn't even be bothered to mention I was pregnant until 4 months in!

According to The Waterbirth Book (see my previous link) pushing is like the back up plan. Someone said to me that pushing is like holding your breath, you can't help but breathe eventually because your body takes over. Well actually holding your breath isn't natural, breathing is. If you follow your body, go into the primal state, allow the right hormones to work, your body will do the work and you won't even notice it. What tends to happen is that women don't go into the primal brain, they think too much about the pain releasing pain related hormones and they get worried or stressed releasing adrenaline.

If you think about birthing in the wild it is a very vulnerable time, so the mother will find a nice quiet spot where she won't be disturbed to deliver her baby. If a predator finds them then she has to make a decision, does she fight or flight so adrenaline kicks in making either possible, obviously if she is going to do one of those then labour is going to be a problem, so adrenaline slows down the contractions. There comes a time though that is past the point of no return, nothing will stop that baby coming. So adrenaline kicks in to speed things up so that if a predator was to come the mother wouldn't be vulnerable for too long. Apparently there are some MW's who will, when they know the mother is getting to that stage, say something scary to the mother to help the adrenaline kick in.

As much as we like to think of ourselves as removed from nature and the wild, our bodies still work in the same way.

Wow all this is incredibly interesting! I've often thought it looked unpleasant, the crowds of people screaming at poor mums to push. I'm overdue with DC1 at the moment and hoping to have a waterbirth. Hopefully no one will yell at me to push, but I think I know now that if they do, I shoud tell them to shut up! I did read a birth story rom a hospital in Edinburgh where the mother complained of exactly this - made to push too early and ended up having loads of intervention, even though she relaly wanted a natural birth.

The book is great even if you're not planning one because it explains the processes really well and I think would make any woman feel empowered in her labour. I read it in two days it was so good!

Personally I'd be aiming to have it as low key as possible. Lights low, little talking or messing as any of those can start the adrenaline going. No "push"! Just go with how you are feeling, I was very fidgety always changing position as something different happened in my body. If you can get to that primal brain point then your body will lead the way.

Morning Ladies,
Just wanted to add the Milkyallsgone message, I'm sorry yours was tough too. The comment you made re 'sending you on your merry way' is completly right ! The amount of professionals who said "At least you are alright now" was unreal. I didn't have any explanation / debriefing (? is that the right word?). I didn't get the mirror out either....although my DH said that I looked like I'd been hit with a blunt axe !!!! .

Back on to topic though... I do believe that your body will go into 'automatic' and push your DC out. My widwife who stayed with me through labour was fantastic - every step of the way she explained the process. At one point I got really panicky and scared - she came over and held my hand and explained that it was caused by a rush of adrenaline, to prepare me for the next stage. I know it sounds simple but just knowing that this was what my body was designed to do helped loads.

big hugs to you all.

xxx

xxxx

I haven't read all of this - and I'm sure some people will say the same. But I never got the urge to push and had to do it manually (ifswim) with the contractions. I didn't have an epidural so that wasn't why. Ended up with a ventouse.

I guess it's possible that they didn't wait long enough, but I WAS in the active stage for hours so I don't think so. Odd though ............