How much help should I expect overnight in hospital after a C-Section?

[NoseyHelen]

I'm due my second c-section soon. My memory of the night in hospital with DS is awful. It was 35 degrees, I had a drip in one side and a catheter in the other so I could not reach out to my child. It took forever for the midwives (2 for 23 mothers) to answer the call button and I don't remember my baby's nappy being changed. I do remember one mw wedging lo in a blanket next to me so that I wouldn't press the call button again.

So, what help have other people had - perhaps I'm expecting too much?

How often was your baby changed over night?
How long did it take midwives to come when you called?
Did they insist on putting the strip lighting on everytime they popped in?
Was baby in bed with you or in it's own crib? Is it safe to have baby in bed with you after surgery?
Did they help you have a shower or bath (28 hrs after op, I gave up waiting and did it myself against orders)?

Any other tips would be gratefully received.

MummyAnnabella - I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience. I think it is truly thoughtless to leave a mum whose baby is in SCBU in a bay with mums who have their babies. There are usually a few such mums and I can't see why they are not grouped together.

My question wasn't how much mothering I can palm off on the midwives, on the contrary. My point was that I was not able to tend to my child (being attached to the bed on both the left and right side by tubes) and therefore needed assistance. I would never have let my baby be taken out of my sight, not for a second.

noseyhelen - my post wasnt directed at you - its just what do people expect? why shouldnt they bath themselves? why shouldnt they be up and about the next day?

some of the stories are terrible but some people seem to expect one on one care and for all their demands to be met immediately.

i had some really difficult things to cope with eg being left on my own during labour, no dh till halfway through emerg c/s as no one phones him and i had to get mobile out and call him myself etc but at the end of it all i was so grateful that baby and i survived it all okay and i could see most staff were trying their best.

MummyAnnabella, having not had a prem. baby I can only imagine what you went through and I am sorry if some of these messages are coming across as mealy mouthed.

I am personally SO distressed about my own experience because of the profound emotions that it provoked and not because of the lack of practical help. Yes i was knackered and yes I was inexperienced and would therefore have welcomed any help but predominately I was angry because of my instincts.

When you are listening to your baby cry and can't help it because you cant move, you are left with a deep-rooted guilt that most mothers' have. How dare those midwives/ nurses/ auxillaries allow my baby to be distressed when I her / his protector can't do anything myself? indeed these people made me feel like I was a bad mother because, when sleeping, I hadn't recognised the cries of my own baby (after 2 hrs of being with her). Add this to the intrinsic guilt that accompanies a situation where you can't push your own baby out (and I know rationally it was not my fault- dd was well and truly stuck) and you are left with an angry woman swamped with concerns for her baby and worries that she is failing at being a Mum from the outset. C Sections are traumatic for all involved and it would just be great if the staff had a bit of compassion for that.

what i don't understand is why do they insist that the fathers go home? The time I rang the bell in the first night were simply because I could not get at my baby, it would have been lovely if i could have just prodded dp and he could have carried him over.

i was told by a student midwife an emergency section was con considered an operation when i asked for painkillers the morning after so i could get the courafe up to walk to the shower

Yes, this is bringing back horrible memories for me too. I was basically left completely alone though I had no idea what to do with a baby. dd wouldn't latch. I was told to express, but I didn't know how to express (and had the machine on very weak, nothing came out the 4 days I was in there). Baby seemed so hungry and tiny, and I was told she was losing weight and I'd have to be kept in until she gained weight. There were only 2 pumps which were going round, and I had to ask for them to bring it back to me, and was usually told it was busy, and greeted with an angry look when I asked for it (day 2, told to just come and get it, even though I had no idea where it was). No one brought me a drink. No help using the shower. Horrible breastfeeding support (the shove tiny head into giant breast while screaming kind). When I left, I was told the car seat was wrongly set, and when I didn't have the instructions (because it was correctly set) midwife said, "Well, I can't keep you here, but you're risking your baby's life". It turned out the way she wanted it setting, with straps above shoulders, was actually the very dangerous way. I begged to leave every day, on the day I was allowed out, the midwife said, 'Oh are you still here? You can go, you know?', and then demanded I found the ID bracelet, and watched me crawl under the bed on all fours looking for it, without saying maybe I shouldn't be doing that. I cried all the time. Am very scared this time around.

oops i meant cs NOT considered an operation

Interesting no midwives have popped up on this thread

I think it's luck of the draw - they are so overstaffed that mw just don't have time to help out when you really need it. It would be so good if partners/husbands could stay overnight and help out if they felt able to. It would have been a godsend for me as I am deaf and as I had to take out my hearing aids to get some sleep the first night after the CS, I didn't hear my DD crying and was woken by an angry mw saying 'your baby's crying!' Even though I had specifically explained that i needed extra help for a few hours in the night as I am deaf, the message didn't get through to whoever was on duty (or they forgot) so it caused a lot of upset. I feel so guilty for even thinking I could have tried to sleep. Having a partner/friend just there as well would have been great. Totally sympathise with all of the other posts, same experience here with regards to catheter not being changed, nappy not changed etc. But there are some really nice mw out there, there were a couple of lovely trainee ones at the hospital I was in whose attitude really shone above all the others. Unfortunately they weren't on the night shift!!

Reading this I realise I was really lucky when I had an elective CS back in the olden days - DS1 nearly 18. I had him in Newcastle. Had a private room/amenity bed which cost the grand sum of £10 a night! Pretty sure that DS was in nursery the first night. Was encouraged to sit up and stand up asap. Can't remember changing nappies but must have done as had to stay in for a week - was the norm then. Lots of support from nurses but pretty sure was just left to my own devices when having first shower. Was defo much better experience than 21 months later with DS2 who was a forceps delivery with b. loads of stitiches. Recovered much quicker from C section than that!

all these stories are horrible! i felt let down after dd1 but for very different less traumatic reasons than all this and i feel quite selfish feeling upset about my care after dd1 now i have read all of this.

dd1 was born naturally but it was a very long labour and id had diamorphine whcih makes you very sleepy anyway the long and short of it is that i slept for nearly 24 hours after birth. dd1 was also drowsy from the morphine so she never woke to be fed/never cried and as result didnt establish feeding early on. she is and always has been a very poor eater and i had to be taught by the hv how to get her to feed properly as she didnt know how to do it and was losing weight.

i was also told by the same hv that the staff should have noticed that i was sleeping so long and that dd1 wasnt feeding and they should have woke me/fed her. we also shouldnt have been released from hospital untill dd1 was feeding and because she had an infected sore on her face that the hospital had just dismissed when i pointed it out to them.

anyway i clicked on this thread to tell you about my sisters cs. she was basically just left. she couldnt reach her baby either and it also took the midwives ages to come and see to him when he cried. they also didnt offer any her food. she had been in labour for a very long time and had not eaten. she missed dinner after her emergency cs and they didnt even offer her any toast. she had to call my mum to bring her some juice at visiting hours because the midwives hadnt offered her a drink either, though my sister is very shy if i was her i would have just asked for a drink.

i think that maternity units are generally understaffed and the staff do the best that they can in their position. which doesnt make it any better for those that suffer bad experiences after birth.

'i was helped to bath the day after c/s but was left to wash and dress self and make my own way back to bed. but why wouldnt i? it really is better to be up and about.'

C/S is major abdominal surgery. Some of these people had very long labours or were induced and their bodies are utterly exhausted before they are put under GA for a serious abdominal operation.

the muscles that allow them to reach their baby during that first night have been cut and sewn together and they are unable to reach their child.

if you've been under GA, it puts EVERYTHING to sleep, and as a result a person's organs can take a while to wake up, especially as everyone's body metabolises the drugs given on an individual basis, a bit like how one person can drink more than another based on size and experience.

similarly, some are dehydrated, undermedicated and in severe pain and should not be up and about unattended. people like this can fall and injure themselves quite seriously.

so it makes absolutely NO sense just to leave a person completely unattended in such a fashion.

it's one thing to ask a patient if they require help, and then the patient can accept or reject based on how they are recovering, but it's another to expect anyone to tend to all their own needs after such a serious operation.

what's the point in keeping in them in hospital at all if they have no specific needs following such a procedure? why not just send them home, then?

I had emergency csec after 34 hrs - ds born at noon. I was washed (a bit) in theatre, then went to recovery for a few hours where ds had a 20min feed (no help)(apart from dp - very helpful!). Got taken to ward - 6 beds. Auxilliary took me for shower - I had to walk down the corridor passed other wards to get there (lots of blood and gore on way on floor, don't know who dealt with that... ) she was fantastic - I could hardly stand up still - certainly couldn't dry myself let alone try to get any clothes on.

No help with ds - he was in a basinette by the bed so I had to get out of bed to get him out to feed him or change him. Another lady (elective cs) had managed to get a clip-on cot which made it easier - at least it wasn't so high.

Catheter out following morning.

No help with changing. Help with bathing him though - I wouldn't have been able to lift the bath...

On my third night, when my sleep had been prevented by very loud woman and her family who all finally left (she discharged herself) at midnight, then ds started with what I now know was early colic, he was taken from me at 2am (I was spending a lot of time in the corridor by this time as he was so loud) so I could get some sleep, but returned (still crying) at 4.30 - I think that the matron worked out by then that it wasn't me being a hopeless mother and not feeding/not changing/ not holding correctly - he just wouldn't settle.

I was SO GLAD to get out of there that day!

So, no, don't expect any help getting up, getting dc changed or fed - you might get some help when you first get to the ward, but that's more or less it...

I just don't think, from what I have read, I will be able to cope without my DP there.

I had an emergency section last year and I'm having an elective in 2 weeks, at RAH in Paisley, I don't know what to expect as I had DS elsewhere.

With DS the midwives were not around much, they kept saying how they were so busy and rushed off their feet which I thought was fair enough, but everytime I went to find one they were sitting through in the duty room chatting, not about work either.

I had my section at 11pm and was sent up to the ward at 1am, DH sent home then, was told not to get out of bed but no-one came to help when DS needed feeding so on my still numb legs I stood up and got him, thankfully I managed, it could have gone very wrong.

I got myslef up and showered the next morning, had a HUGE bleed all over the bathroom floor which I cleaned up painstakingly by myself.

I also got all my tubes etc removed after my shower as I requested it. If they were going to let me do everything myself I was up for it. But I wanted to be free to do it.

They checked my BP in recovery at midnight then not again until 3pm the next day. I was an HDU nurse at the time and used to looking after people with major abdo surgery and epidurals and DH is a general surgeon so we were both shocked at this and the other 'care' I was given.

They told me on day 3 that I couldn't go home until I had been spoken to about breastfeeding, I did point out that as DS was 3 days old by then I would have informed them if I had any problems

It was just all a bit rubbish and shocked me as I would never treat any patients of mine like that.

I hope RAH is a bit better, they have been antenatally anyway......

expat Its because having a baby is a normal life event. They wouldnt want to medicalise it by treating people as if they are ill or something.

yes, having a baby through your vagina with no instrumental help is a natural enough event.

having it delivered via surgery is a different kettle of fish.

i'm really surprised there haven't been more deaths or accidents and injuries, tbh.

I think they are very lucky.
They are also lucky that most women are far too busy when they get home to complain about the terrible care they get.

The physical risks eg infection and haemmorhage arent the only problem.
Suicide is the leading cause of maternal death, and so many women come out of hospital completely shell shocked and traumatised. Obviously it isnt the only factor, but shoddy hospital care cant help anyones mental health.

I have 2 more CS horror stories: DS1 8 years ago was elective CS (had placental abruption at 35 weeks so consultant didn't want me to go beyond term). Had no idea what to do with tiny baby, real problems BFing and when I asked for help midwife said rudely " well, if you WANT to BF you'll just have to keep trying won't you". Also remember walking round at 3am with DS1 about 48 hours old screaming and wouldn't feed, me in tears as well, and begging MW on desk for help but she was chatting to friend on phone and wouldn't talk to me just handed bottle of formula which didn't help since I was determined to BF. Real encouragements for Mums to bottle feed because the MW said they could take your baby to let you rest but only if you wanted to bottle feed. No help with changing nappy and DP didn't know how to and no one would show him so had to wait for MIL to come in to do it! Desperate to get home as in huge ward with new Mums and babies mixed up with those in labour so got no sleep for 3 days!

DS2 even worse, this time tried VBAC but didn't progress so ended up having emergency C/S. Afterwards when I was put back on ward wasn't checked for 4 hours (found out later MW supposed to monitor me had gone home without telling anyone!) and started to feel really dizzy since I was sitting up holding Ds and thought I would drop him. Used all my strength to pull buzzer cord; when MW came they realised I had low BP but didn't realise that plus fast pulse meant I was haemorraghing (sp) so thought it was reaction to anaesthetic and gave me fuids for several hours before calling for doctors. Must have passed out then woke up in op theatre with oxygen mask over my face thought I was dying and remember feeling so sad I wouldn't see DS's grow up . Ended up in ITU on ventilator and consultant said my heamoglobin level so low I was really lucky not to have died. Really should have sued hospital for psychological distress caused to everyone, DP went home to bring DS1 back to meet DS2 and he was all alone and no one would tell him where I was! Won't name hospital but it is in East London and was recently named as one of worst in UK for maternity care!

FLUIDS not fuids I mean

Also HAEMOGLOBIN.

I'm really glad I did actually complain about what happened although we didn't seek legal advice about sueing. Hospital admitted 2 serious errors and said they were changing procedures as a result. Another way to look at it is that I'm really lucky because if I hadn't been sitting up holding DS2 I would have just shut my eyes and passed out and no one would have noticed since I was bleeding internally and they weren't checking me at all.

Jesus, Cluttered. Please name the hospital. I really think you should. Everytime I look at this thread I think it can't get worse and it does

people name and shame here, cluttered!

My first section I was medically looked after pretty well- montiored etc..

No food wass forthcoming.
I was in a recovery room on my own and the mwives were pretty god at keeping an eye on me.
I could have my baby with me or in the crib, I just has to buzz for someone to help me.

I was helped to the shower and with nappy changing etc.

Bfeeding suppport was not very good- very conflicting.
That was at ST Mary's in Manchester.

The care on the ward was not very good,and the beds were awful. The cleaner woiuld come in at 7 and wake everyone up by shouting wake up at us!

My second was at Wythenshawe- and they were great. Very well monitored, brought food and drink, taken to the shower and helped as needed. My towels and draw sheet were changed regulalry and I fet very clean and comfortable. The beds on the wards are all proper electronic orthopaedic beds, too, which makes a big difference as your back can really be painful after CS.
The breastfeeding support was very good, consistent, up to date and calm. Very friendly staff in general, too. Needless to say, I'm going back there for number 3!

They didn't put the big lights on every time they came in, no.
My baby was only put in the crib when I asked.

No-one had their curtains closed the whole time on the ward at Wy/shawe, which was lovely, and is much more healthy. At Stmarys, it was dark and stuffy because everyone kept their curtains closed.