First baby - how long in hospital afterwards?

[notcitrus]

For those of you who gave birth in a hospital, how long did you stay there afterwards? What tests/checks do they want you to wait for, and which ones or medical conditions should you actually stay for?

Basically I want to avoid having to spend overnight in hospital as they'll want to kick MrNC out. Ideally I'll produce Squirmy at a sensible time of day and we can then just go home, but I don't want to be in a situation of being told "ooh, you're doing this against medical advice, do you really want to do that with your precious newborn baby?" (separately, we're working to ensure MrNC can stay with me, which would be easier if the midwives' phone wasn't permanently busy...)

DD1 was born at 09.20, I delivered the placenta and my first words were "Can I go home now?".

In actual fact, there was an emergency in paeds, and a suspicion of an (unidentified) midwife that DD looked "A bit down-syndromey" , and she had a mild positional talipe which the House Officer wasn't confident to sign off without senior consult, so they didn't want me to go without the Reg reviewing.

Reg came, confirmed that talipe was positional, said that DD could be forgiven for having a flat nose in light of the fact that she had been squashed in a birth canal, and sent us on our merry way!

So, birth 09.20, packed and ready to leave after stitches at 11.00, and finally left at 19.30.

NotCitrus: here is my 2p's worth and I fully appreciate LOADS of people feel differently about it but in my opinion consider staying as long as they will let you!! If you like it that is but consider time in hospital bubble as chance to get to know baby whilst other people worry about food and water for you, washing the soiled bed sheets (there will be soiled bed sheets...)etc etc. I found it lovely to have time with DH to gaze like a moron at DS3 whilst only granting audiences to the rest of the family, in particular 2 VERY lively older brothers.
Having said that, I went home after 36 hrs after DS1 and it was fine. (Was in hospital 10 days after DS2 was delivered via CS and he was quite unwell on neonatal intensive care, scariest place on this planet). After most recent delivery I felt like I could go home as soon as I had my bath but enjoyed my 2 overnight stays .

Hope you get the birth experience you wish for. Good luck. xx.

I think it depends on how busy the hospital is, and what happens in the labour.
First time, baby born at 6.00am, then stitches, and a wait for the epidural to wear off. I could have left sooner but had to wait for a shift change for paed and to be discharged. I got home at 6pm. They had said they would prefer me to stay, but I was quite insistent, and it was busy, so they let me go.

Second time, got to hospital at 8.30 am, baby born at 10.30am, paed came round about 11.30, home at 2.00pm (would have been sooner except DH had buggered off in the car to get some lunch ).

Neither time (different hospitals) did anyone ask about whether I'd established feeding.

I would love to spend three days in a small MW unit this time around. I'm so of those who did. We'll see though, as the unit here makes a big deal of the whole "home in 6 hours" thing.

I planned to be out ASAP but it didn't work out like that. I won't go into the gory details but I was quite ill so I had 10 days in, then 2 days at home, followed by another week in - and another week a couple of months later. I was very fit and healthy beforehand and had a textbook pregnancy. I'm not saying that to scare you as it is very unlikely anything of the kind will happen to you, but I wasn't prepared for the possibility of things going wrong and it made the recovery much harder on me. Don't fixate too much on that early release, you will soon be ready to come out and hospitals don't want you in blocking up their beds unless you really need them.

I went home after 6 hours, i wanted to be at home in my own bed!

frances - I'm not too fussed about staying in hospital if really necessary, just not alone.

I'm deaf and can't understand strangers when tired (like, say, after labour), but more seriously have a terrible startle reflex, so if anyone comes up to my bed unexpectedly (eg if I'm asleep), I will freak out, scream, throw stuff at them, and most importantly have nightmares for months. So I will either simply not sleep, which can't be good, or probably get done for assault!

I had thought I'd prepared for this by having MrNC and two backup communication people ready, so one could stay with me at all times, obviously being quiet at night so everyone in the ward can sleep, but now I find it's policy to kick even partners out from 8pm to 10am except in 'extreme circs' - I've already spent a few evenings having hysterics on MrNC at the very idea - and trying to negotiate in advance is proving difficult.

I could have a homebirth, but assuming this small point is sorted, I'd really prefer to have my firstborn in a nice uncluttered clean hospital with possible epidural if the gas and air doesn't cut it.

I have to agree with Mummyfor3. I was in two nights, because they had to keep checking DD's blood count. I thought this length of time was quite reasonable (although I probably wouldn't have been allowedto stay without a specific reason!).

I knew I definitely wanted to breastfeed and they helped me sort out latching on.

I got a bit of sleep safe in the knowledge that lots of people around knew what they were doing even if I didn't.

DP, who had been up for 37 hours with me in labour, managed to get a bit of sleep so he was refreshed and able to help me.

I was in a daze a lot of the time, but I remember those as very happy days and by the time I'd left I had managed to catch up on a little bit of sleep too - I didn't know how much I'd need that in the weeks to come.

DD - spent the night (but she was born at midnight).

DS - spent 2 nights. And don't tell anyone, but really really wanted time with just me and DS .

Had a private room (only because they didn't have any others), toilet and shower. They wanted to discharge us after a night, but I felt another night would be good...

NC - I really hope your DH can stay, I'm sure they will be flexible in the circs. My friend's DH was allowed to stay as she has ME and her energy levels dropped massively after birth.

Notcitrus I am pretty certain that your hospital would HAVE to support you if you needed to stay in, in terms of your being deaf. So if they wouldn't let your DH be with you then they would need to provide someone to help with communication - someone who signs or whatever else is appropriate. I am sure that in the cicumstances they would rather you had your DH with you as it would be a lot cheaper and easier for them I think it could be seen as disability disrimiation if they don't make appropriate arrangements.

Have you raised this with your MW? You could contact her in the first instance and take it from there. You should not be in the position of having to negotiate this on the day.

I stayed in for 5 days at our community hospital, it was lovely, like an 80s b&b, morning and afternoon tea and cake and bedtime drinks (what bedtime- I got no sleep due to ds!!) Seriously though, thumbwitch is right, it's best to stay in as long as you can, especially to establish BFing which can be tricky, the midwives I had were really helpful and I would have given up if they didn't help me persereve! Good luck

Provincial - last appt was with community midwife (although apparently wrong team of midwives, but that's another story), so couldn't authorise anything but I did get her to write it as my #1 concern in my notes. Hospital midwife at 28 weeks was great but firmly said birth plans got discussed at 36 week appt - she did answer what were my main questions at the time, though.

Midwives phone engaged all yesterday - will get MrNC to try again tomorrow. I'm just concerned they'll claim it's inappropriate for a chap to be on a postnatal ward, and that they can come tell me in writing when it's breakfast time, etc. In which case I'll have to push the mental health side, and I really don't want to do that - once psych services get called in it's very hard to escape, and I've managed just fine with just a GP for the last 10 years. Argh. I had loads of ops as a kid and had to have a parent stay with me overnight in a chair, so it never occurred to me they'd claim lack of a bed meant kicking partners out!

No private rooms at St Georges, not that I'd be any happier in one.

I had dd1 at 11am and went home at 7pm, big mistake as i strugled to get up to feed her for the first night as i had alot of stitches. With dd2 i stayed over night, i had her at 4pm and went home 4pm the next day.

DD is 7 weeks old today and I had her in hospital. My labour was quick and uncomplicated although I did have a few stitches. I had her at 19:11 and was asking to go home at 22:00!! They said I could if I really wanted to but would have to come back the next morning to have dd checked by the paediatrician. As the hospital is half an hour from home I decided it would be easier to stay.

Only checks I had when we went was dd's full check and a few questions from the midwife!

I think it all depends on how your labour goes. Good luck x

NotCitrus: I agree with the ProvincialLady that out of shere self interest the hospital is very likely to allow your husband to stay! The fact that you hear less well should not interfere with your choice of how and where you would like to deliver! I think it would be very reasonable to bring the hearing issue up again and then you would not have to go near the mental health side of things .
Having said that, consider staying as a babymoon, particularly if you can get a private side room... v nice!

Gave birth at 11:20am left hospital at 2:30pm the NEXT day.

Had assisted delivery however also DD was too tired from birth and decided not to latch on.

Are you sure they have no private rooms at all? That is very unlikely as there are often women who have had very traumatic births or even lost babies, and they would not be put on a shared ward. I had a private room the whole time I was in hospital - the first few days I paid for it as an "amenity room", which some hospitals let you do, and then after that when it turned out I was so ill they let me have it for free anyway. It doesn't mean private care, just a room to yourself.

I would push to speak to a senior midwife and failing that the head/chief of midwifery for your trust, because it is not remotely reasonable that you would be expected to wait until 36 weeks to make these kind of arrangements. I am only 19 weeks but I am seeing a consultant in the morning to go through my options as often special arrangements need to be made, and at 36 weeks you could go into labour at any moment so it is ridiculous to do it then. If they need to book a signer then they would need to have one on standby surely? I suspect the hospital MW you saw just isn't aware of these issues.

24 hours due to meconium in waters. They wouldn't even let me go after 23 hours!

notcitrus I suggest you write to the Supervisor of Midwifery and the PALS officer immediately. Phone conversations are not good enough.You need an agreement in writing to take with you.
The hospital, under the terms of the Disability Discrimination Act, has to make 'reasonable adjustments' for your disability. You should describe DH as your translator and explain that is why his attendance is required.
Do you lip read or use BSL? Translators cost the hospital a fortune, they will be keen to avoid that!

Hopefully you will get some sort of private room too. It wouldnt be nice for all the other women on the ward recovering from birth and trying to deal with thier babies to have a man staying in the ward all night. Hopefully someone at the hospital can get this sorted out for you.

I thought your OP sounded a bit mad but I now do understand. I'm deaf as well and know how much harder it is when you are tired.
You must understand the hospital has to try to accomadate your needs, this is enshrined in law.
I am a Ward Manager and when I last had a pt who communicated via BSL I ensured he had a sideroom. His DP also had BSL as her first language and the tranlators cost us a fortune, this was not an issue though. The PALS (Patient Advocacy and Liason Officer) can be contacted via the hospital, switchboard, main address or website.
Good luck

Apparently there are a couple private rooms for people who've had stillbirths or baby taken to the PICU, but very unlikely anyone else will get one (especially in September which is particularly busy).

Will prod MrNC to keep phoning tomorrow until someone answers, and take it from there to PALS or whoever.

Most of the staff I've encountered have had excellent deaf awareness - they called MrNC before my first appt asking if I'd want a signer (I don't sign much), spontaneously put a 'patient is deaf!' sticker on my notes so people knew to fetch me for appointments rather than leaving me stranded in the waiting room, sorted out physio appts by email, and didn't panic when I phoned with a textphone.

I usually lipread and use hearing aids, but the current aids are uncomfortable so won't want them during labour, and my ability even with them and lipreading to figure out what people are saying plummets when I'm tired or in pain (like, say, in labour...). And if anyone has any accent that isn't like a BBC newsreader, I can never understand them without stuff being written down (cue many conversations with me going 'No it's not because I'm racist, I have just as much problem with Brummies and Australians as Caribbean accents...') A lot of the time people assume I understand what they're saying because I speak perfect London and because I have a medical science background and have done oodles of research, I know what they're probably going to say - it's only when people go off-script it's a problem!

Speech-to-text reporters cost as much as sign terps, so yes, I'm hoping that will clinch the argument. While worried that they'll just go 'oh noes! A man around!' - although one of my other supporters is female, so if it had to be her around between certain hours that would be OK.

unfitmother - heh, I'm certainly a bit mad! Although the tiredness has certainly been a major factor in that - I suddenly stopped being depressed some years back after I started getting arsy, refused to watch TV without subtitles, trained my friends to seek out well-lit pubs and restaurants, and got help from Access to Work.

And just because an organisation has to make reasonable adjustments by law doesn't mean it does. I need more than two hands to count the bodies I'm in the middle of complaining to, and I'll have to give up most of them because life is just too short. Still, as I said in my previous comment, George's is one of the most clued-up places I've been to ever, so I hope it's just a question of getting through to the person with the clout to make a decision.

What worries me is the randomness of who will be on duty in your hour of need, I had a very deaf aware MW with DD but not with DS. This is why I feel you need to have a formal agreement prior to your delivery date.
For the DDA act to apply you need to have infomed them, formally, of your disability. The onus is on them to accomadate your needs.
All being well you'll be out in no time but you need the confidence that comes with a back-up plan.