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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

scared of tearing/episiotomy

41 replies

starlover · 28/01/2005 12:04

this is the only bit of the birth that I am genuinely scared of. I am generally a pretty laid back person, and am not freaking out about the pain etc etc, because I know there is nothing I can do about it.
But I am scared about having to have an episiotomy, or tearing...
What kind of percentage of women end up having one or the other? do most people?
If they think I may tear is it better to go for an episiotomy, or risk the tear in the hope that it won't happen, or won't be as bad?

I need some nice stories here about how it isn't as bad as it seems, and that having stitches won't be as horrible as I think it's going to be! Lie to me if necessary!!!!!!

I know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, but it's still worrying me!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lonelymum · 28/01/2005 13:03

Oh yes but I must second the information given below re a hairdryer. With or without stitches or tears, you do feel a bit sore down there afterwards and bleed a lot so you don't want to use a towel to dry yourself. Use a hairdryer: it is so soothing and much more hygienic too. I still use a hairdryer sometimes to dry myself there after a shower!

lockets · 28/01/2005 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

starlover · 28/01/2005 13:17

yeah, it's my first baby. i guess in the grand scheme of things a few stitches isn't so bad.
and like you all say, when i am there looking at my new baby then i'll forget all about the previous pain and indignity!

OP posts:

lockets · 28/01/2005 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PicadillyCircus · 28/01/2005 13:20

starlover, I had an episiotomy with DS (he was delivered by forceps) and I can honestly say I didn't feel it happening - I knew it was because they told me but didn't feel it.

And I was really worried about it - the thought of it is horrible but in practice it was OK

Roobie · 28/01/2005 13:26

Agree with the sentiments already expressed. I had some tearing with dd although can honestly say that there was no painful feeling of actually tearing which was what I had been worried about (just the 'normal' pain of giving birth). It usually happens right at the end anyway when baby is coming out so the potentially squirm inducing aftermath with the stitching etc is blocked out by the fact that all you can think about is the baby you are holding. They usually give a local when stitching so it doesn't hurt at the time anyway.
As well as all the other tips I would definitely recommend getting a rubber ring to sit on afterwards. I didn't last time and have seen in my NCT mag that you can hire special 'valley cushions' for this purpose.

Roobie · 28/01/2005 13:28

Agree with Decmum - the worst part was the first tentative painful investigation of my bits in the shower afterwards. I even plucked up the courage after a few days to have a good old look with a mirror - wish I hadn't!!

Lonelymum · 28/01/2005 13:32

Starlover, you will go through hell fire for your children once they are born and this includes the indignity and pain of giving birth. Don't worry. Didn't I read somewhere that you are 40 weeks? In only a few days time you will be holding your baby and nothing will ever be the same again. I almost envy you the rich experience you are about to have (but you can keep the physical pain!)

Satine · 28/01/2005 13:38

Ok, no-one else has said it so perhaps I'm the only gross one but if you tear, wee in the bath for the first few days afterwards! Pouring warm water over the area whilst weeing also helps. But I didn't feel it at all when I was actually giving birth. I tore a little with my first baby and not at all with my bigger second and I wonder if it's because I pushed like MAD to get no 1 out whereas with my second I had an epidural and was quite happy to let her make her own way down until I absolutely had to push! Don't know, just my personal theory!

Original poster

starlover · 28/01/2005 13:44

lonelymum.. yes i am 40 weeks! am so excited about meeting this baby!

thank you everyone who has replied.. it really has put my mind at rest... i guess it just seems like such a gross thing, but when you see how many other people have been through it, it doesn't seem so bad!

i am off now to have a nice hot bath and some gin! LOL

OP posts:

sweetkitty · 28/01/2005 13:49

would echo everyone elses comments i was terrified of tearing but at the end if someone had offered to cut my leg off with a blunt hacksaw to stop the pain i would have agreed

I had a second degree tear caused by me pushing like mad and DD having her hands by her face. The stitching wasn't the nicest thing (a lovely doctor did it i was high on gas and air) it was no big deal I had to sit sideways for a few hours afterwards took arnica and had lavender baths they healed well.

My tip is for my first poo 3 days later I ate loads of apricots (always give me the runs) so it wasn't too erm straining thing was I was in hospital with DD for jaundice and I just did a big smelly one and the doc came and checked on her

You'll have that precious bubba in your arms soon that'll be all that matters. Best of luck.

Leogaela · 28/01/2005 14:00

I haven't read the whole of this thread, but being cut is also my worst fear of giving birth.

A midwife has told me about something to do to help that I hadn't heard of before. Massaging the perinium can help, but in Switzerland there is this balloon thing that you can get, that you put inside and pump up. each time you use it you pump a bit more nad it stretches the perinium a bit more. You can pump it right upto 10cm. I haven't got one yet but definitley will. I have no idea if you can get somethign like this in UK or if it is really recommended, but the midwife that told me about it said it significantly reduces the risk of tearing or need for cutting.

Anyone seen one or know anything about it? (i think its called an epitom need to check, I couldnt find it on the internet)

Its on my shopping list for this weekend.

Lonelymum · 31/01/2005 10:10

Have you had your baby yet Starlover?

Original poster

starlover · 31/01/2005 11:16

nope! off to see the midwife this afternoon to ask if they'll induce me anywhen soon!

OP posts:

Lonelymum · 31/01/2005 13:09

Good luck.

oatcake · 31/01/2005 13:17

Me and my harping on about the pelvic floor:

Pelvic floor exercises are beneficial in minimising perineal trauma, of which perineal tears account for 85% of vaginally delivered women (Premkumar 2005 in RCM Midwives Journal).
Start taking arnica prior to labour and afterwards probably on a 2 hourly basis.

The amount of salt in the bath needed to help wound healing is huge.

Lavender oil is beneficial.

Perineal exercises, commenced around 37 weeks is also proven to reduce perineal trauma

Yes, do listen to what the midwife says - they generally hate doing episitomies and won't do them just at the drop of a hat...

good luck!

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