Update on Unsupportive Community Midwifes

[BabiesEverywhere]

Following on from here

I have had a phone call from the Head of Midwifery today saying she wanted to met up with my consultant and herself.

I asked why the consultant would be there as I am low risk and wish to discuss midwife support for a home birth and she said he didn't have to be.

She suggested alternatively that she comes with her consultant midwife. She says they can definately sort this out and I will be supported in labour.

Sounds good, in theory....however this is the same stuff I was told when the consultant midwife came out to meet me a couple of months ago and reassured me that the local community midwifes would support me in a home birth. In that meeting the consultant midwife, even brought the senior midwife to meet me (i.e. The same one who upset me on the phone last week talking about my baby dying.)

SO we are back to the same scenerio, just up one flipping level.

What do I do now ?!? How can I be sure that they won't slap me with another unsupportive nervous midwife and this time I wouldn't know until I'm in labour.

I guess, I have just lost all faith in this group of midwifes and I worry that they will all be as negative and ungenuine as the couple I have met.

I think you want to think again. I think to approach labour in this watchful, untrustful unhappy way is miserable.

I agree with Feb. If they don't feel that they can offer homebirths then they aren't right for you.

Endless writing letters and comfiring this and that is missing the point. Do you trust their advice? Do you feel safeish with them. Are you on the same wavelenght. The NHS isn't really set up for homebirths. Not properly, whatever the public relations people like to say. Most people I know who've had happy homebiths used private midwives.

Most people I know who've had happy homebiths used private midwives.

I'm a homebirth contact for the NCT and have had two homebirths myself (well, one homebirth followed by one home to hospital transfer). What you say just isn't true in my experience. Most women I know who've had their babies at home have had community midwives and have been very happy with their care.

I would say that women who have SIGNIFICANT risk issues (I wouldn't put the OP into this category) may find it hard to get a confident community midwife to support them. I had an IM because I was categorised as 'high risk' (gestational diabetes) and I couldn't get the community team to support me. That said, I know people in similar situations (HBAC, breech) who've had fantastic support from NHS midwives to birth at home.

Even in my area where there's a very low homebirth rate there are a reasonable number of superb community midwives who are very proactive about supporting homebirth. I think the OP has been unlucky with the negativity she's encountered, but hopefully she'll get this sorted.

To be pedantic, it is true because all I said is "most people I know". Quite happy to accept that your experience is different.

nkf, Then what do you suggest I do, as I don't have the money for a private midwife...give up !?!

At the moment I have the dangerous 'choice' of free birthing
OR consent to a nightmare medical consulant led birth with several months recovery time physically and many months/years of mental distress
OR I try and resolve the situation, via letters and meetings.

I wish you luck, BabiesEverywhere and hope that it gets resolved. Why would the birth be medical consultant led? I must have missed something.

"Why would the birth be medical consultant led?"

Because despite asking to be transfered to the midwife led unit, I am still on the consultant unit list.

My consultant told me I would HAVE to be on a bed, with a drip, continous monitoring and those rooms have no toilets/baths/active birth tools i.e. balls/beanbag. Plus am not allowed to use the water bipool, which is in the midwife led unit a floor away.

All these restrictions were based on the fact that my last birth was a bad one. I feel with restrictions indentical to the last nightmare labour, would highly likely to end up in the same end result...not something I will willing indure a second time.