Home birth for first baby

[MrsMagpie]

I'm at 11wks with my first unplanned but very much wanted baby. The trouble is I hate hospitals and I'm a very private person. The thought of a hospital birth fills me with dread. I've been doing a bit of reading and a home birth sounds much more appealing. Is there any reason why a first timer shouldn't go for it?

It's been so wonderful to read all of your positive comments. The best part of it is now knowing that so many women opt for a HB that it really isn't an usual request. I think my DP is coming around to the idea and thank you fleecy, the beer might swing it!

1dilemma i think it's really important to be prepared for anything so if you've got something that you'd be happy to share (even if it is negative) It can only help me to make a well balanced and informed decision.

I had home birth with birth number 1 , hospital with birth number 2 was 15days over due and community midwives were starting to get uncomfortable. home birth was over all much better experience. hospital was very uncomfortable, hot and very understaffed. I had 2 midwives with me at home but hospital was 1 midwife 2 two women that night.

I had homebirths with both of mine, both born in the water, both quick and straightforward. I think the winning arguments for us were: we don't like hospitals either, we had family who had done it before and had had a very positive experience, when the baby was born DP could stay with us and we were able to just get on with it at home. I think for me the idea of being in hospital with a new born and trying to get breastfeeding established in a hot, uncomfortable, noisy place was almost as bad as the idea of giving birth there.

I also had a very supportive midwife, her eyes lit up when I told her I wanted a homebirth and I was delighted that it was her who ended up attending DS1's birth. Our midwife was very keen to stress preparation. I went to active birth classes both times and thought that it really helped, not least because it gave me space to think through in advance how I was going to deal with things.

Good luck, go for it!

I think it was a tour of the hospital that swung the idea of a home birth for my dh.

Well HB isn't really for me.

You can bleed to death in a few minutes you know? (HB are safe because they are generally very highly selected) DO you have good community midwives?

Had my PFB been born at home he would be dead. (Not that we knew this beforehand IYSWIM)

My midwives have always suggested it at subsequent pregnancies though, they are very pro.

(Totally not knocking your wish for a HB though, I think it depends on what level of 'risk' you are prepared to put up with for me that level was set above a HB. Mind you I wouldn't go private either because of concerns about quality of care and some of the NHS stuff is a lottery by all accounts too!)

My DP had our DS in a pool birth at home and it was the most incredible experience granted she did all of the work on that one though so I can't talk from the physical side of things

You'll get lots of support as there will be a dedicated midwife on your side and you can crawl into your own bed when your new bundle of noise/joy has arrived.

Hi all!

I have my first meeting with my community midwife on thursday so I'll talk through all the viable options with her. Of course if they tell me that there is a good reason why not then I'll have to trust them and try not to be too heart broken. In the meantime I'm sticking to my guns. My first lesson learnt so far in this pregancy is that you have to go with your gut instict and trust yourself and your body.

I'll let you all know how I get on. Wish me luck!

"You can bleed to death in a few minutes you know? "

In 14 years as a midwife I can honestly say that I have never looked after anyone in normal labour who has even come close to bleeding enough to need a blood transfusion let alone dying. Well nourished women who have no complications just don't bleed like that. Bleeding is far more likely to become a complication for women who have sections, or long labours with interventions.

I personally hoped to have my first at home but had a few minor issues and just went off the idea so had a natural midwife led unit birth and was only in for a total of five hours. Had my second at home though. Lovely safe experience.

I wish I had, although I had a positive birth in a very nice hospital. I would consider one for the next time (if there's a next time!!)
That said, you may end up being transferred, and if you hate hospitals that will be 100x worse for you. Is it possible to visit the hospital etc and try to put your mind at rest as well as planning a HB? The hospital I was in was lovely and the rooms were very private (and private clean bathrooms). The only people who saw me in labour were my midwife and DH (and DS of course )

I've been hearing rumours that my area is experiencing a baby boom and our main hospital is struggling to cope which is why i have to wait until 14wks for my dating scan. They are now offering places at another hospital which is much smaller. I think we will get offered tours of both.

Feedback from friends that have had to use our main hospital has been very negative.

maxbear surely that depends on your definition? Once you have had a blood transfusion it is no longer a 'normal labour' because it is not normal to need a blood transfusion so that statement is meaningless.

I did say I didn't want to rain on your parade and was asked to post my 'negative view' which I qualified twice as being negative and explained it was about the setting of my riskometer IYSWIM. I didn't try and talk MrsM out of her homebirth and very explicitely explained about my dc. (I'm not prepared to say exactly what happened on here because It's extremely rare and would make me identifiable.)

I also went on to say some hospital based care can be crap too.

Surely you don't object to MrsM hearing a different view?

Good luck MrsM I'm sure you'll be fine

1dilemma - I'd be interested to know how you'd explain why it is that the research into outcomes from planned homebirths don't support the view that it's riskier for low risk mothers or for their babies. Actually it seems to support the view that choosing to birth at home is less likely to result in a mum ending up on an operating table or her baby needing special care.

I had a lovely planned home waterbirth with my 1st, was surprised at how little resistance I got from the MWs when I suggested it - I'd expected to be told maybe next time, They just said as long as everything goes OK, no problems with BP etc. Am currently having dilemma over having 2nd at home even though I've been told I'm GBS+ and my MW wants to do everything by the book and send me to hospital for IV ABx which I'm very unenthusiastic about.
But thats a totally different issue, sorry to sidetrack
Go for it

I don't understand your question.
Are you asking why research suggests that homebirth is fine for low risk people?

I really wanted a home birth but was in a high-risk group . Not a particularly joyous experience but at least I ended up with healthy babies .

A girl up the road from me has just had her baby at home (her first). She said it was a lovely, relaxed experience. It was quite a long labour, but she was glad about that as it gave her time to get used to the contractions building up. It's how birth is supposed to be. But, as has been said, you have to be prepared to do what's best for the baby - we are lucky to have the options we do have.

If you think about it, 'home' is the most natural place to give birth, the place where you feel the most relaxed & safe. It is against nature to search out a huge brightly-lit place full of strangers.

Well - yes. You said 'I think it depends on what level of 'risk' you are prepared to put up with for me that level was set above a HB'. Does that mean you believe that homebirth is riskier than hospital birth for a low risk mother? I'm just wondering how you arrived at that conclusion.

BTW - I was categorised as high risk (I had gestational diabetes and was carrying a big baby) but had a homebirth. I assessed the risks and benefits of both options with my midwife (also took advice from a consultant midwife from a London teaching hospital) and came to the conclusion that on balance my baby and I were probably safer at home. You have to judge each individual case on its merits.

Didn't say you didn't. re second para and judging each indiv.

No what it means is that the things I was 'concerned about happening' perhaps too strong a term ?worried were potentially things that would not have been easily fixable at home, they were not necessarily things that were likely to occur anywhere ie not likely inhospital, not likely out not more likely in one place or the other (as far as I'm aware)

never in my wildest imaginations did I think my PFB (term, no probs during preg/birth etc) would end up in NICU a couple of hours after birth

(I think, I havn't analysed this for a few years now maybe that's why I wasn't clear?)

I am slightly uncomfortable about continuing this discussion here it's not about my views on HB and I don't want to get accused of trying to put MrsM off.

It's not really a reason it's just that even in the best of circs and totally unexpectedly things can go horribly wrong, there are a couple of other reasons I didn't want one, one being that I had a really nasty home we hated (rented and we didn't want dc born there!)

What I mean by 'it's not really a reason' is that what happened to me shouldn't be a reason for MrsM not to choose a HB 'cos it was/is so unlikely but it can happen

"but it can happen"

Yes - it's true. But you're more likely to bleed to death after a c-section. And as a low risk mum you're more likely to need a c-section if you birth in hospital.

1dilemma thanks so much for your comments. It can be hard to put your views across when there is over whelming support for the otherside.

Without wanting to invade your privacy could I ask if your complication was something that was picked up prior to labour or if it was completely unexpected? Was a home birth something that you considered for your PFB? Was this option offered to you?

It is pretty fantastic to have a discussion going here thanks for all for sharing.

Hi MrsM. Just read the jist of this thread. I planned a hb with my first dc (born Nov 07). Great midwives, and spent a lovely 18hrs here labouring in a wonderful relaxing environment, birth pool up in the dining room. Being able to walk around the house, up and down the stairs (when necessary) and generally feel at home was just great. DD though was stuck (38cm head and spine down along my side - sorry don't know technical term for that) so I chose to go to hospital for the birth. My experience in the hospital was less than lovely. In comparison to home it was loud, bright and rushed and I felt I lost all control over the birth, even with my midwives as advocates and my DH by my side, suddenly all decisions were not ours. The birth wasn't great in the end although I have a wonderful DD. As long as a low risk pregnancy happens again, and my tear that I had last time looks ok, I wouldn't hesitate to go for a HB again. One thing. Look at it as aiming to labour at home. Then if you give birth there, it's a bonus and you won't feel disappointed if you end up in hospital like me!

... oh, and try not to have your house in a building site state when you are walking around naked having your contractions... I was wandering past bags of cement in the hallway! In all honesty, I am pretty sure that that contributed to me not 'fully letting go' during the labour and DD getting stuck. Just my feeling - no medical evidence to back it up though. But get your house in order so that you really can relax. It's so important. Right. Shall stop waffling now.

I'm planning a homebirth with my first. Midwife very supportive, I could say she even recommended it - very pro birth being as natural as possible.
Read up as much as you can, and be open minded to the fact that you may need to transfer if there is any danger to you or the baby, the more open minded you are I think the more relaxed you will be if this happens.

bear in mind that people you think are close to you may think you are crazy and will tell you so and try and put you off, stay positive and go with the flow!

thats my plan anyway

Good Morning All!

I had my booking appt and all went very well. My Midwife is very supportive of HB and there is also a lovely maternity unit not too far away which i can go and look at. My main hospital refuses to give tours which puts me off them even more.
She says that as long as no issues pop up she's happy for me to do what i think is right.
But best of all I got to hear a heartbeat only two more weeks till my scan!