Why would you bring up a pregnant woman’s baby maybe dying?

[Littleluv]

A family member of mine has said they will buy a cot for the baby. This is very generous and I appreciate this a lot.

When discussing where to get the cot delivered to they said if I wanted it in my house before baby is here. I am not superstitious and do not let that control my life so said well I may as well as it will need to be set up for them coming home.

They proceeded to then talk about someone in my family whose baby died during childbirth 50 years ago and that I need to be aware of this.

It has really upset me and actually I have been teary on and off as I am in my final trimester and this has scared me. But I am also just shocked why on earth someone would say this to a pregnant woman.

Has anyone else had family members or people they know say things like this to them?

Just read it…

Read what?

The post… the entire post is about saying something insensitive and putting the possibilities of that into someone’s mind. Never did I say she said my baby WILL die.

@Littleluv this is what I was referring to - where you said it had been “put in your head that your baby will die”

Gosh, I frequently tell them they’re being ridiculous!

OP, this has about as much validity as not stepping on cracks in the road, blowing kisses at two magpies, not saying ‘Macbeth’ in a theatre, knocking on wood, throwing spilled salt over your left shoulder etc etc. I wouldn’t give it another thought.

Op I had this with my pregnancies, sadly my mum lost two babies so when I was busy buying stuff for my baby my dad and my aunt were very superstitious and often told me not to buy the pram, cot etc before baby arrives

My mother in law did exactly the same except she didn't know about my mum so it was just her old fashioned views
Funnily enough my mum bought me loads of baby stuff whilst I was pregnant and never once mentioned what happened to her..it was always other people

I remember with my babies,my mother held onto the pram/buggy until they where born

I didn't give it a thought until I had my last baby and for some reason,she couldn't store the buggy so I said to just sling the box in the corner of my bedroom

Cue massive meltdown

(my mother is a full on narc who had to control everything-and she focused on the pram-other baby bits where fine but she did,very sadly,lose 3 babies before she had me-ill never know how much was narc behaviour and how much was genuine fear)

Roll onto the birth and the cord was wrapped round babies neck and she almost died

Cue much crowing about how having the buggy at home caused it and how selfish I am for not caring about my babies health

She got told to shut her trap but even now,17 years on,she still brings it up apparently

When I first told them I was pregnant for some reason they kept bringing up people who had miscarried to me like it’s very odd. My mother also died when I was young and they have said some particularly odd things to my brother. They themselves have never had children so I don’t know if this is just their lack of understanding or ability to empathise with how this may make someone feel. However, they do guilt trip people a lot and are slightly manipulative with using information as power… probably just an odd ball.

I think some people simply can't help but be really negative, even when they try to be encouraging they still come out with really negative things. I don't know what makes them this way or if there has been any academic research into this behaviour but it's definitely a thing.

I was chilled out and not superstitious at all but PIL and DM did say about not having baby stuff in the house. As they were both buying us nice things I had no objection to their hanging on to them if they wanted to.

I didn't bother with that myself and bought a few things and later on a friend very kindly threw a baby shower for me.

Try not to worry, OP. It was thoughtless of that person to tell you that story. By far the vast majority of births these days end with a baby safely delivered.

Great, let's see if we can upset her some more !