Let's talk birth plans..

[xtina2608]

I'm going to be a first time mum in May next year (yay!) I'm filled with so much excitement but this also comes with feeling quite overwhelmed and anxious.
I have so many questions but I want to start with birth plans. I'd really like to hear from woman about their plan, what were the pros and cons to what they chose and did it actually go to plan?

I'm considering an elected c section at the moment mainly because I do not cope well with pain, and Im just the type of person who likes to know exactly what's going to happen and when.

Any advice, stories and insights would be really helpful

Same. I didn’t bother. One epidural, one too quick, third was a charm (early epidural and 6 hour discharge so home in my own bed that night - bliss).

No chit chat or talking to me, everything directed to DP. No internal examinations. Everything else is as needed

Worked well for the first 2 and I'll stick to it for the 3rd.

If you want to avoid pain I'd do a hypoborthing course in person and go natural if possible. Pain of CSec lasts much longer and actually interferes with you once you've got your baby. I had no tears and was up in 20 mins of giving birth.

They only women I know with long term birth issues are CSec complications- 1 was an open wound, unhealed scar for 10 months so she couldn't even carry baby and a twin mum who is now paralysed from her spinal- horrific.

No idea why anyone is mentioning VBacs when it's your first birth- they are different as you have scarring from a CSec.

I didn't bother with birth plans. I thought they were ridiculous and I couldn't see the point of trying to plan the unpredictable so I didn't.

I would say just go with the flow. As long as the baby arrived safely and we were both well. That was all that mattered l

I had two vaginal births and one emergency caesarean section. I preferred the caesarean and recovered from it far quicker than I did from my first vaginal delivery.

No, it’s not an easy route as there is no such thing, but I was out after 1 night with all mine, off pain medication by day 3, out walking within the week with all three, driving by week 3 in all cases and with my first I was at a baby class within two weeks. Stop scare mongering.

www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/giving-birth/caesarean-section/c-section-benefits-and-risks

I think whatever option you choose for birth should only be based on official literature and facts, rather than other people's experiences. Because it is so personal and individual, it's not a sensible comparison. A bit like deciding what sexual position suits you best based on what works for other women.

I've had 2 friends recently have ELCS. One had a 2 month recovery and infection, the other was fine after a few weeks with a standard recovery protocol. The one with the long recovery was in one of the best maternity units in the country, the other in a smaller trust. Similarly for vaginal birth - one friend (first DC) was back home later that day with no complication and another who had forceps delivery with a longer recovery time.

They all made decisions based on their own risk appetite, preferences and things that really scared them. All have bonny healthy babies who don't seem any different to the other. One of the c-section babies (the uncomplicated one) was in NICU briefly but not sure that had anything to do with the surgery and no guarantee it wouldn't have happened with vagina birth. Everyone with a vaginal birth has recommended epidural if you have the option, and are worried about pain.

So, educate yourself on the literature, and trust your gut. Of course it may not go to plan anyway but it's good to informed and prepared so nothing is a shock.

I had two things I knew I did not want, pethidine (bad reaction in the past) and an epidural. Those were my red lines.

Because I lived an hour from hospital, on small rural roads, I knew I wanted a hospital delivery for my first.

Beyond that, I kept my plans loose. I took my music and a tens machine with me, and listened to the midwives advice. As it happened, I had a long slow labour and needed some help at the very end.

I've had 2 ELCS and I honestly found eyebrow threading more painful. I've only had my eyebrows threaded once, but I went and had another baby. I absolutely loved by c-sections. The most painful part of the whole thing was having the cannula put in, but I believe you need those when you have an epidural too.

Anyway, I was achy and uncomfortable, but nothing I would describe as actual pain and certainly not the worst pain of my life. (That's a tie between a burst ovarian cyst and phase 1 of root canal).

I think you do need to wait a bit longer before thinking about your birth preferences. Although researching all the way through pregnancy is a good thing. The reason I say this is you’re too early for any complications but if you get diagnosed with gestational diabetes as I did first time that limits your options. You can of course birth outside guidelines but that takes careful consideration. This time I’ve not got GD so I have the possibility of midwife led unit and water birth. However at my 28 week appointment found out my son is breech. So now I’m having to consider sections as a safer birthing option whilst also hoping he’ll turn. So there’s loads to think about and you don’t want to get fixed on one type of birth as you don’t know how the pregnancy is going to play out.

I have 2 kids. I didn't have a birth plan.

I ended up with induction forceos ventouse and emergency c section either the first.

Second I lost 3 pints of blood.

I did ask for an epidural both times but didn't get one.

I'm autistic so I like a plan.

I planned a home birth & all was looking great until 36 weeks when I developed lots of different complications & my body just wasn't enjoying being pregnant any more. They gave me the choice between induction or section & I chose a section.

The experience was fine but the recovery is SO brutal (IME). 2 weeks in & still not really able to lift my baby, hold her for feeds or put her down which makes me feel like the worst mum in the world. Its agony to bend over to change her so I need help. I can't get out of bed or off the sofa without somebody to help me. It's really affected breastfeeding & we are now on bottles which I didn't want.

The constant pain & inability to do stuff combined with the hormones (I'm quite a proactive person) has made me tearful & weepy. I've had to have family members move in for a while to manage the house as DH can't hold down a job, manage the house & fully care for a baby himself and I'm not ready to be in the house alone.

I don't want to scare you off a section at all. The experience was not fun but manageable & I felt safe, but the recovery (both the time in the ward & at home) has been brutal. This isn't everyone's experience I'm sure, but it is common to struggle for the first few weeks. Please factor it in. I am really hoping for VBAC for second baby because I can't go through this again, especially with a toddler running around. X

I found a section fine. Yes it bloody hurts the first few days but within less than a week I was up and about. Not on my hands and knees cleaning but I was able to lift and feed my son. I have another booked for 2 weeks time. We all find the recovery different though. Hopefully recovery goes ok this time too!

The closest I came to a birth plan was to tell the midwife I wouldn't consort forceps unless the baby was in distress. The surgeon still came in and tried to tell me she was just going to "pop some little spoons on the babies head to help her out" when she decided I had been pushing for too long. That conversation was fun. Other than that I just went with the flow. Both of mine were inductions.

I had a c section, I had a mobile epidural in place for 4 days post section and so for me it was pain free! Best experience ever. I did go private though so was very well looked after.

It’s not extremely hard to get, you choose it and if the physician refuses then you ask for a different physician.

I am also having a section. I don’t like midwife led units, they don’t have the staffing to give me the the most optimal mode of paid relief, you are ignored and dismissed so I would rather speed up that process. Finally the risk of faecal incontinence for a vaginal birth sits at about 15 %, that’s not palatable for me.

Get the section OP! I loved mine. Yes there's pain after but it's predictable and controlled and you just deal with it calmly. No chaos and tearing and hours of contractions. No sticking things into you. I have no regrets and I'm still so relieved I had them when I hear of all the problems family and friends still have decades later from vaginal birth. I refused to be just a number and a way to keep costs down. Only you have to live in your body, get the section ♥️

No that's not the case now, anyone can have one. And it's brilliant.
Women should be able to weigh up the pros and cons of each and decide what's best for them.

I think if you don't cope well with pain, another option is an epidural rather than a c-section. I've never had a c-section, but the idea of it terrifies me and the healing period afterwards sounds less than ideal with a newborn. I had an epidural with my first (after hours of agonising contractions then I couldn't take it anymore!) and it was 0 pain.
So you could always consider an epidural right off the bat.

Oh and I am not really doing a birth plan for my second. Got the appointment with my midwife to discuss preferences next week (FYI you only get this in week 34 so you've plenty of time yet!) but I'm really open to anything and everything.

I'll be giving birth in our local hospital but I don't have much of a plan beyond that. Will probably just see how it goes, open to all pain relief but will try to avoid an epidural if I feel I can. I feel like it's impossible to plan, anything could happen, baby could come so quickly or be breech, cord round neck, anything could get in the way of your ideal planned birth. Best to be open to everything

Honestly I would focus on educating yourself for the moment and forget about making a plan at this point. Read The Positive Birth Company book first, and maybe looking into a few courses online on hynobirthing, labour, etc! I would be worried if you make a plan this early and become entirely focused on it, you will be disappointed and/or stressed if it doesn't work out. After you have done some research, make a list of your preferences, rank them in order of importance to you!

FWIW, I didn't have a plan the last time, (nor will I this time) and everything happened so quickly nobody would have had time to faff about and flick between pages to see what I wanted (yes....I have seen birth plans that are pages long!). It helps to be educated and helps to have preferences, but be prepared that it may not work out that way.

I found asking about birth preferences quite polarising on here! Lots of women are of the school of thought that they are pointless, though if you’re having a baby every book you read suggests making one.
I’ve got 4 plans - first and second choice and then a couple of what happens if choices (ie I want a caesarean instead of induction if possible). Like everything in childbirth though things can deviate quite massively!
I’ve read a really great book called “The Positive Birth Book” and it’s revolved around hynobirthing, positive mindset and language around giving birth and it goes in to loads of details about birth preferences. On my plan (first choice) I’ve included things others have said:

• Natural/vaginal birth
• Water birth if possible
• Midwife to catch baby
• Delayed (optimal) cord clamping
• Midwife to encourage pushing only if struggling (TBC?)
• Don’t wash baby
• Calm and dimly lit room
• Delay baby checks
• Active management of placenta but after cord is cut
• Want the vitamin k injection

Other than the mode of delivery most of them stay the same across all my plans (ie cord clamping, environment of delivery room etc).

Hope that helps! Definitely recommend the book ☺️ Good luck!

It's not as simple as that though. The OP should research and do what's best for her.

I had two planned sections. The first was awful, I could feel pain and had to make the choice near the end whether to endure it or be put to sleep. I lost 2 litres of blood and had to be in critical care and obviously that led to a long, hard recovery.

My second one was fine (but obviously painful afterwards).

Not all vaginal births are straight forward and not all c sections so everyone should do their own research on what's right for them.

@NerrSnerr Yes she should do whats best for her. She stated in her OP that she likes to know whats happening and when and doesn't cope with pain well. So she's more likely to get what she wants with a planned section.
Of course people should research and do whats best for them.