Second labours tend to be easier because they're shorter - both first and second stage.
My first labour involved and epidural. I don't think I would have had one had I had better care. I was left on my own for long periods of time, expected to lie on the bed and offered no emotional support at all.
My third labour was also massively long and painful, but I didn't have an epidural. It was easier for one reason alone: that I had brilliant care from an independent midwife and spent almost the entire labour at home.
It wasn't a less 'anxious' labour than my first. When I went into labour with my first I was classed as low risk - I'd had a healthy pregnancy and I had confidence in the birth process. By the time I was facing my third labour I had loads of anxieties: I'd become a high risk pregnancy because I'd be diagnosed with gestational diabetes. My second baby had weighed 11 lbs and had shoulder dystocia. I'd been told, after repeated scans that my third was also a massive baby (turned out to be much smaller in the end though - just 9lbs). So no - my third labour was easier than my first labour - I just got better care.
I recovered quicker from my third birth because I wasn't catheterised and immobile from the waist down for the first few hours of my child's life. I also didn't have terrible perineal damage, like I did after my first which ended in a forceps birth (something which may well have been a result of having had the epidural). Not forgetting the infection that I took home with me(possibly related to the many vaginal examinations I had to check my very slow progress once I'd had my epidural sited).
What part of my post would make people feel guilty? I'd really, really hope that anyone opting or thinking about opting for an epidural would know all the possible drawbacks - including all the possible side effects for the baby as well as for themselves. I had a bad experience with an epidural and DO think it affected the first few days of my baby's life, but I don't feel guilty AT ALL. Why would I? It wasn't my fault. I did the best I could in labour in very difficult circumstances.
I never said that epidurals are forced on people. I do think that women having difficult labours are sometimes left with no option but to have one, simply because they're not offered the alternative of intensive, skilled one to one care from a midwife who isn't stretched to the limit by caring for three or four women at once. In my view opting for an epidural when you're at the end of your tether and nobody's offering you any emotional support ISN'T a free, informed choice - you're cornered into it.
I'm glad you had good care and help with feeding, but sadly at our local hospital, although the individual midwives are brilliant it's often like the last day of the Somme on the labour ward - the staff are flying by the seat of their pants and women end up getting really, really cruddy care. Over 50% of breastfed babies get given formula in this hospital too - most within 12 hours of birth, basically because there aren't enough skilled staff to sit and patiently help a mother with a baby who is slow to latch on.