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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What would you do in my situation?

42 replies

Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 20:26

I had a c section 4 years ago. It was an emergency but sort of not - decided just before after a very long labour but I was awake and it was calm. It was a lovely relief after labour). I’m nearly due our next child. I’m planning a vbac and initially thought I’d do an induction at 41 weeks if nothing had happened before then (but only balloon method) and go to c section if it’s not working. I have no real issue with c section, more the sadness I’ll never experience vaginal birth.

Now I’ve been reading around the whole thing I’n worried that waiting until 41 weeks is too long. It’s also an ivf baby which apparently can cause more risk and trusts in other parts of the country induce at 39 weeks for just ivf! I don’t know how good my trust is with all this. I know it’s awful as the nhs is amazing but it’s so underfunded and there have been so many poor maternity cases recently, I’m not entirely sure I trust them. So I wonder if the combination of vbac and ivf makes everything more risky and baby should be out sooner. Even if it doesn’t, the truth is that the evidence is conflicting and now I’m really nervous about it all.

As much as I really want to finally have a vbac, I also want the baby here safely :(

So I wonder if I should push for 39/40 weeks instead? I am scared of induction though. Balloon method sounds awful and I don’t know if I’m giving myself enough time to go into labour naturally. :( so then should I just book a c section?

So confused!

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 19/12/2023 22:43

You may go into labour spontaneously, op, and by the time you get into hospital your baby might be well on its way into the world. That would be wonderful. Live in hope! Good luck.

Original poster
Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 22:52

LBFseBrom · 19/12/2023 22:43

You may go into labour spontaneously, op, and by the time you get into hospital your baby might be well on its way into the world. That would be wonderful. Live in hope! Good luck.

Hopefully. I’ve heard ivf babies often come early so you never know. Thanks.

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 19/12/2023 22:59

I've had a VBAC with an IVF baby but went into labour naturally at 41 weeks, fast labour, only lasted 90 mins. First baby was unnecessary section in labour at 42+1. I wouldn't have attempted a VBAC with an induction. Why do ivf pregnancies have a worst outcome than natural conception? I haven't heard this.

miniegg3 · 19/12/2023 23:02

In my opinion you are NOT missing anything by not experiencing a vaginal birth. Mine was awful and excruciating, if I had another it would only be with an elective c section.
If they think it's safer for a c section then go with that

Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 19/12/2023 23:04

I'd go for the c-section and if you really feel like you've missed out on a vaginal birth, whack your lower back with a hammer for 8-10 hours.

You're missing nothing. Do whatever you think is safest.

Ostryga · 19/12/2023 23:06

miniegg3 · 19/12/2023 23:02

In my opinion you are NOT missing anything by not experiencing a vaginal birth. Mine was awful and excruciating, if I had another it would only be with an elective c section.
If they think it's safer for a c section then go with that

I absolutely second this btw. I didn’t even have a traumatic birth as such, everything was fab up until dd came out with a hand by her face as I pushed and that caused a 4th degree tear.

The recovery is still ongoing 7 years later and the reason I am only trying for a second now!

I will be requesting a c-section at my booking in appointment!

Original poster
Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 23:16

Thankyouthankyoujellybean · 19/12/2023 23:04

I'd go for the c-section and if you really feel like you've missed out on a vaginal birth, whack your lower back with a hammer for 8-10 hours.

You're missing nothing. Do whatever you think is safest.

This made me chuckle! 🤭 I did find labour very difficult with my first (until the section) but I’m still glad I experienced labour, as crazy as that might sound.

Im sorry for all the horrors you’ve all gone through!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 23:18

MissSmiley · 19/12/2023 22:59

I've had a VBAC with an IVF baby but went into labour naturally at 41 weeks, fast labour, only lasted 90 mins. First baby was unnecessary section in labour at 42+1. I wouldn't have attempted a VBAC with an induction. Why do ivf pregnancies have a worst outcome than natural conception? I haven't heard this.

Some studies say the risk of still birth is higher but it’s inconclusive as to why. Some studies say placentas tend not to last as long. So some trusts are just cautious and get then out by 39-40 weeks because those ivf babies might be those tiny percentage that are then still births when you go overdue. Others just stick to 41 which is the new guidance for everyone.

OP posts:
Fipfop · 19/12/2023 23:20

Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 20:57

@Fipfop thing is I hate the sound of induction especially if it takes days but I’m worried I’ll feel rubbish for not trying!

Yes induction failed on 40+1 after 24 hours of the balloon then they couldn't fit in for a c section until 40+6. But I just waited at home until my elcs.

I was the same, my first induction lasted 5 days and did not want that again. But knew I'd be disappointed not to try. Just wanted that elcs date as late as they were happy with!

Original poster
Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 23:23

Fipfop · 19/12/2023 23:20

Yes induction failed on 40+1 after 24 hours of the balloon then they couldn't fit in for a c section until 40+6. But I just waited at home until my elcs.

I was the same, my first induction lasted 5 days and did not want that again. But knew I'd be disappointed not to try. Just wanted that elcs date as late as they were happy with!

Show quote history

24 hours is long, so rubbish! I was told they’d try for 12

OP posts:
Iwishiwasasilentnight · 20/12/2023 10:22

Ididivfama · 19/12/2023 21:48

Is that because of your induction experiences?

Show quote history

I had an emcs and then a big baby. Consultant really wanted me to have planned section after reading lots of stats and discussing indiction with him I decided on c section at 39 weeks but try a vbac if I went into labour before then. My consultant said he personally didn’t have a good success with balloon induction so it maybe worth asking your consultant about their success rate - allow it maybe done by a different doctor.

Original poster
Ididivfama · 20/12/2023 22:54

Iwishiwasasilentnight · 20/12/2023 10:22

I had an emcs and then a big baby. Consultant really wanted me to have planned section after reading lots of stats and discussing indiction with him I decided on c section at 39 weeks but try a vbac if I went into labour before then. My consultant said he personally didn’t have a good success with balloon induction so it maybe worth asking your consultant about their success rate - allow it maybe done by a different doctor.

Show quote history

Did you go into labour before c section? Sounds like it was the right choice.

OP posts:
Jessforless · 20/12/2023 23:01

I don’t know why women feel they have to try as hard as they can to have a vaginal birth, it’s all about the safety to me. And I kind of feel there’s a bit of bullying medically around a VBAC.

I had two perfect C sections after planning no pain relief, bouncing on a ball, hypnobirthing labour.

I was always the person in my friendship group or NCT group who wasn’t sitting on a cushion, who felt great, who didn’t have a ‘story’

100% book a C section.

Original poster
Ididivfama · 20/12/2023 23:40

Jessforless · 20/12/2023 23:01

I don’t know why women feel they have to try as hard as they can to have a vaginal birth, it’s all about the safety to me. And I kind of feel there’s a bit of bullying medically around a VBAC.

I had two perfect C sections after planning no pain relief, bouncing on a ball, hypnobirthing labour.

I was always the person in my friendship group or NCT group who wasn’t sitting on a cushion, who felt great, who didn’t have a ‘story’

100% book a C section.

I know, it’s crazy really. I think as you hear so much about how vaginal births ae so much better it’s hard to know.

OP posts:
Iwishiwasasilentnight · 21/12/2023 07:45

Jessforless · 20/12/2023 23:01

I don’t know why women feel they have to try as hard as they can to have a vaginal birth, it’s all about the safety to me. And I kind of feel there’s a bit of bullying medically around a VBAC.

I had two perfect C sections after planning no pain relief, bouncing on a ball, hypnobirthing labour.

I was always the person in my friendship group or NCT group who wasn’t sitting on a cushion, who felt great, who didn’t have a ‘story’

100% book a C section.

I wanted a VBAC because I was very ill after my c section. DD2 was my VBAC baby and was 2 day old when we went home. My c section baby was 10 days old when we went home.

There a good and bad vaginal and c section experiences.

GingerKombucha · 23/12/2023 09:25

I ignored all the hypnobirthing, antenatal etc guidance as if you start to look for serious research into most of it, it has no actual evidence to back any of it up. Focus on RCOG guidance and research papers. I had an emergency section with first and having planned but essential section with second. Every so often I feel a bit sad that I'll never experience vaginal birth but I tell myself that I'm not owed any experiences and healthy me and baby is all that matters and remind myself of all the research I've read. Read the research papers on likelihood of prolapse, urinanry and fecal incontinence with prolonged vaginal birth if you want to feel better about a c-section. Also, my logic is, i have a scar across my tummy, might as well protect my vagina and not mess both up.

Original poster
Ididivfama · 23/12/2023 20:58

GingerKombucha · 23/12/2023 09:25

I ignored all the hypnobirthing, antenatal etc guidance as if you start to look for serious research into most of it, it has no actual evidence to back any of it up. Focus on RCOG guidance and research papers. I had an emergency section with first and having planned but essential section with second. Every so often I feel a bit sad that I'll never experience vaginal birth but I tell myself that I'm not owed any experiences and healthy me and baby is all that matters and remind myself of all the research I've read. Read the research papers on likelihood of prolapse, urinanry and fecal incontinence with prolonged vaginal birth if you want to feel better about a c-section. Also, my logic is, i have a scar across my tummy, might as well protect my vagina and not mess both up.

I personally found hypnobirthing really helpful for my first. I actually learned what happened to my body, felt empowered and way less scared of labour. Then when in labour I was less scared about what was happening. Plus there were so many useful tools for dealing with contractions and knowing how to move. Still ended in a c section but a much happier one! In my control. No trauma.

I agree the actual medical stuff about still births, safe methods etc you need to listen to the doctors.

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