40+ 5 - changed my mind on my mum being at birth

[Marie0001]

Hi all
Would love some advice as I am stressing a bit

I'm 40 weeks + 5 days pregnant now - still no movements really.

Originally I assumed I would want my mum as a second birth partner, and we were planning for this outcome, but I have been thinking this week a lot and kind of feel I want it perhaps to be just my husband and I, especially as I go more 'over due'

I feel that having too many people around May just be stressful - also when I speak to her on the phone she keeps mentioning induction to me and how the baby will be too big if we go past 42 weeks... this stresses me out! I am just trying to be present and take it day by day and cross that bridge when needed. She has good intentions but I just don't know if I will want her around now especially during the pushing part. I think it will be an opportunity for my husband and I to really connect.

Do most people have a second birth partner?
Any views on how it went if you did have your mum there? I want my partner to be able to step up without my mum taking over..

I would love my mum to provide some support during the first few months, especiall when my husband has finished paternity leave.

I don't know what to do - it's stressing me out a-bit. My husband and I have done a lot of prep looking at the birth plan etc. my mum hasn't been at all involved in this. She lives a few hours away too. I love her to pieces and don't want to hurt her especially because she has taken most of the month of October off (despite me asking her not to!) to be on standby.

Thoughts or stories about birth partners welcome
Thank you! Xx

I would like to add that it is entirely up to the poster who she would like to have with her in the delivery room, Mum should respect her wishes.

I just had my partner at second birth. So much more relaxed x

Just tell her in a nice way. Say that you will see how you feel on the day, but right now want to leave open the option of it just being you and DH. You can explain that either way you will need her support soon after even if not at the birth. So taking Oct off is far from a waste. She will get over it, and probably just wants to do whatever makes you happy and comfortable.

Now isn't a time to be doing things to keep others happy. And babies arriving and newborn cuddles has a way of making all tiny upsets get forgotten anyway. So even if she is a tiny bit disappointed, it won't last long.

Misread the title and thought you'd changed your mind about being a mum... I could understand it, 40+5 is a long time to be pregnant.

I gave birth once. My husband was there. He was one person too many. I wasn't there when dd had her baby - dd nearly died and I didn't even know she was in labour. I was told when she was in theatre having life-saving emergency surgery. Just be honest with your mum so she knows where to be or not to be!

There's no right or wrong answer to who you should have, other than exactly who YOU want!

For what it's worth, my two both went almost 2 weeks overdue and were less than 8lb in weight. Don't let your mum worry you.

This thread is from Oct 2023, I suspect she has had the baby by now