Is a C Section the right choice for me?

[downthestrada]

At my recent midwife appointment, I floated past the idea of an elective c section. She appeared horrified and spoke very strongly at length about how it was a bad idea and how I’m not a candidate for it. She said absolutely not, to begin with. Also mentioned the higher costs to the NHS for doing caesareans and that I could get some classes and support for free under the NHS that would help with my anxiety.

She knows some of my reasons but I find it hard to speak about the rest in-person.

My reasons are:
⁃ Family history of stillbirth at term, she knows about this.
⁃ I have bad health anxiety which they know about. It results in obsessiveness and trying to control certain things. She knows about this.
⁃ Pain during sex most of the time. Minor bleeding fairly often. I don’t want more issues in this area if I experience bad tearing etc. I think I will really struggle with this.
⁃ I have bad experience with the NHS and not being listened to. It’s meant that I’ve not received treatment for things (managed to get diagnosed and treated when abroad). I have had a lot of instances of this. My fear is not being listened to during the birth and struggling to advocate for myself.

I’m 40 years old, BMI of 19 and fairly healthy apart from PCOS. They keep telling me I’m young and fit, so it’s all going to be easy for me. I’ve been told this at the hospital too. I think I look younger than I am, so I think that’s why they keep saying this - not sure though.

I just want to know what other people think. I want to trust my midwife’s years of experience and I appreciate the things she’s already told me and explained, but I’m still leaning towards a c section and I think my previous bad experience is influencing my thoughts too. I have to admit I’ve had a very easy pregnancy so far.

What would you choose if you were me? I'm also worried that I'm going to have a battle to get one if that's what I really want.

No appointments with doctors have been booked. Nothing mentioned. The midwife had suggested extra growth scans at the start and every time I see her asks if these have been booked in. But I've not heard anything about them.

The baby seems to be growing ok, so I guess they're not worried. I will ask about extra scans due to my age as they seem totally unbothered by it.

Yeah I will keep this in mind.

I don't want to sugar coat your idea of sections, I've had emergency and elective sections I can't say I had control in either of them. In fact my elective was just as stressful for me and my 2nd emergency went fine without complications.

For my elective my BP went really high then dropped really low and I started vomiting just after baby came out so someone had to take baby and they started pushing on my tummy which caused uncontrollable wretching. It was a lovely birth as I got a gentle section but it wasn't perfect by any means.

At the end of the day it is your body, birth and your choice, she simply cannot tell you no as it's not down to her and you can ask to be referred to the head midwife or consultant as you have concerns.

I was given a schedule from the beginning of pregnancy for rest of pregnancy, at week x you will have apt, week y scan ...the extra growth scans were late in the pregnancy but were down on the schedule. At your next apt I would ask what weeks of your pregnancy you will have extra scan/s.

Deciding to have sections for no medical need, purely my personal reasons, were the best decisions of my life.
No regrets and I'm still proud of myself for standing my ground and refusing to be a number, a cheaper option when it's my mental health at stake.
You decide what is best for you!

I’ve had both an emcs and a VBAC with episiotomy. If I did it again I’d take the VBAC.
I had a good recovery from the cs. I was walking upright hours after and no issues pooing and could manage to move around but the recovery and loss of core strength took over a year to recover.
In labour the midwife you have makes a difference at the beginning of the second labour the midwife was ok but not great. Then I got a student and two other midwives and they were fantastic. You can ask for a change of midwife when you’re in labour.
I did have a cs booked for my second but went into labour before and changed my mind. I really wanted to change it back during the pushing phase!
If they mention induction ask for cs.
You could have an early epidural.

This was my experience as well, I had CS and VBAC with episiotomy and I'd take another VBAC any time. Don't let fanatics con you into having a CS by talking up how "easy it is" when it isn't, listen to all sides and make an informed choice, I was completely shocked by the recovery and even 18 months later was still having pain in my scar. By contrast my (complicated) VBAC was intensely painful at the time then it was done and I was back to my usual activities 2 weeks later including running around soft play. For me, that was more "in control" than being fucked up for weeks on end by what was supposed to be an ELCS which ruined my bonding with my baby. Dural headaches are no joke either, look them up, mine went on for 10 days.

Hi op I'm only 11 weeks but at my midwife appointment I told her I wanted an elective. She was really supportive and just wanted to know my reasons of which I told her.

She said she will put me forward for one. It is your choice. I'm sorry this has happened to you please keep pushing, it is your right.
Good luck

I can’t honestly say my EMCS was a horrendous recovery. But I know not everyone is as lucky.

I know in theory we should be able to request sections but in my experience they just don’t, unless you are very pushy (I can’t be - I was glad to be offered an elective this time.)

As ridiculous as it may sound I have never been able to get my head around vaginal births and how that would work in practice!

Good luck @downthestrada . I hope you get the birth you want.

Thank you everyone! I am reading everything and taking it all into account. I'm going to think about some other options too like early epidural. I think my fear of not being listened to is affecting my anxiety.

you have every right to a csection for maternal choice. i did with both of mine (second ended up being an emergency section anyway as had bleeding at 36w but i was opting for a section again anyway). honestly best experience of my life, especially with the first as second time i was more nervous because of the bleeding and because of leaving my first at home in a rush.

if your consultant doesn’t listen to you, ask to change consultants. you have a right to one. i wanted mine because of a family member working in maternity and dealing with stillbirths etc and i was convinced if i went to 40w+ that the same would happen to me (so mainly anxiety based) and so my section was 38+2 and i felt so cool calm and in control it was great.

I ended up moving to a different city so I can have an elective, best decision ever!
good luck x

For an alternative experience, I’ve had 2 CS (both elective) and they were wonderful, and the recovery was a breeze. Breastfeeding both times while they stitched me up and didn’t feel cheated out of anything.

Home 24 hours later, walking with the pram after 3 or 4 days, exercising after 5-6 weeks and running after 10-12 weeks

It’s such a tricky call. I had a tricky first birth with forceps and episiotomy and a straightforward ELCS with baby 2. The first birth was definitely harder on me mentally and emotionally, but physically I was back to exactly the same by 3 months PP. I’d say it took a year for my mental health to recover and process the experience.

While the ELCS was far easier on me mentally, the physical side was much harder for recovery and the changes it’s made to me physically will be forever (c-section pouch on my tummy and things didn’t ping back how they did first time).

You are well within your rights to make the request so do feel empowered. I found it a really tricky decision to make with DC2. But I think you’ll make your peace with whatever you decide. Also check out Birthrights if you need some resources if you decide to push the C-section route. Good luck!

Hi OP,

I had CA for both my babies. The first was a planned section and my second was also supposed to be a planned section but ended up being an emergency one when I went into labour two days prior to my booked section. There’s one way you may lose control 😂

I don’t recall having tough recoveries with either of them to be honest, I was up and walking around within 24 hours and the recovery at home wasn’t particularly problematic. I couldn’t go for long walks for a while but by a month this had resolved.

As a previous poster said, I also know a lot of women who’ve had awful injuries and long-standing difficulties following a vaginal birth.

My Consultant with my first pregnancy had spoken to me about an early epidural with possible induction, but she said that any pregnancy with interventions like inductions/epidurals are much more likely to end up with the mother having an emergency CS anyway due to labour not progressing and the mother and baby tiring. Her final advice was that because of the increased chance of difficulties arising as a result of inductions and epidural that I just skip the middle man and go straight for a planned CS.

So keep this in mind and do some research on the impact of early epidurals and inductions on the progression of labour as that will help you in your discussions. Get yourself as informed as possible as then it’s harder for them to just railroad you.

@pinguins How fucking rude, "CS fanatics conning you"
My sections of course involved pain and hard times like any birth but they were amazing. Genuinely 2 of my best decisions.

And I was up and about after, the quicker you get moving the faster the recovery.

Yeah you're absolutely right.

Thought I would give an update since I'm grateful for everyone's input.

I hadn't slept properly for about 3.5 weeks, maybe only 2 hours per night. Then I had 3 days of early labour contractions and couldn't sleep at all. They got to about every 6 minutes but I was so fatigued I was nodding off while standing.

I decided to call the hospital and ask for a c-section. They brought me in and went through all the risks but, once I said I was decided, they booked me in the next day. Nobody was pushy with trying to get me to do a vaginal birth because I could barely keep awake and was struggling with getting my words out.

The c-section was lovely and calm and relaxed. Every member of staff was perfect and the hospital in general was a dream.

I had to get myself moving about 4.5 hours after the operation because I needed to look after my baby. But, I think it's helped because I've recovered very quickly. Yes I'm not 100% but feel very close at 10 days after birth. Not much pain either and the scar has healed well. So it ended up being the best decision for me

Well done for advocating for yourself.

Nice to see your update OP, sounds like you got the right birth for your circumstances all round. Good you were listened to as I'm sure it doesn't always happen. Enjoy your new baby!