Thanks so much for the info @Bells3032 - it's really kind of you to take the time to explain your experience. Lindo and Queen Charlotte seem excellent, but I haven't considered the option because it's just too far away from me, especially if I was travelling in a crisis / another strange fast labour. I have a friend who had her baby at St Thomas recently and speaks extremely highly of the care - but I have the same distance problem. It's so useful to know about the potential pricing and the budget you were advised (and lack of BUPA support, which helps me be realistic...).
Hi @codhat ! For now, I've ended up making a decision which I think is safest and best for me, based on a better understanding of what happened with my labour first time round.
Until this pregnancy, I hadn't reflected to any great extent on my daughter's birth (since, after all, it was a low risk natural delivery where everything turned out fine, and afterwards I had a baby to think about). When I began thinking about a second labour, my original thinking had been that the UCLH triage had made a mistake by sending me away, and I had thought that this was a clinical error or to do with a lack of beds.
Having now spoken with a consultant and several midwives, and done some further reading, I now understand that I had a relatively unusual labour in that it was so rapid, and this isn't something triage would have expected, especially for a first pregnancy. The latent labour stage lasted on and off for 36 hours (which is why I hadn't originally understood myself to have had a particularly fast labour), but the "active labour" phase began suddenly and progressed to delivery within about 2 hours. I've also been told that it is likely that my second labour would be similarly fast (if not faster!).
Given that, where I've landed based on my own very specific medical history where I'm at real risk of a BBA, is to take the approach that @teezletangler so helpfully suggested to me, which is to go for a combo of private midwife careand UCLH NHS care. I'm reassured that @ZuliKyanLarsFoz as a midwife also suggests this approach!
I've chosen a really lovely private midwife and she has told me that, based on my history, as soon as my contractions started (ie when I'm only in the latent stage) she would be coming to my house, as it's likely that the whole thing would progress very fast since my body knows what to do and will be more efficient about it. She would also accompany me to UCLH if there is time to get there safely (which is a question mark!), albeit she would then have to be a support person only with a UCLH midwife in charge.
DH is on board with this - his default preference is still hospital, but he's comforted by the idea that the midwife would be with us from the start and she would have the experience (and equipment!) to monitor the baby during labour and advise if transfer to hospital is needed during early labour. And, if I have another rapid labour, it would be far safer to have my midwife with me the whole time and give birth at home under her care rather than on the floor of a taxi somewhere on Euston Road.
This is all on the assumption that my pregnancy stays low risk of course. If anything changes on that front and I'm looking at a complicated delivery / c-section then I'll revisit this plan! But for now I'm satisfied with a plan for UCLH Birthing Centre plus midwife care at home from the start. (Also, having now toured the Fitzrovia suite and the Portland, the UCLH Birthing Centre room I gave birth in last time was much bigger/ nicer than the birthing room I saw in the Fitzrovia, and equivalent to the rooms in the Portland. And it is free, and next to the best available NICU and maternity care.)
I also wanted to say, I've now booked into UCLH and I've been impressed so far by the NHS care. It is of course early days (I've only had the booking appointment and bloods etc) but so far those appointments ran broadly to time and the staff are great. Since my last pregnancy UCLH has also introduced an app which keeps all your appointments, medical notes and tests done in one place, and also provides direct updates with test results and analysis, which I really like.
The other great thing I want to mention about UCLH is that the clinical/community midwife I saw through my first pregnancy was really wonderful - she was lovely, passionate about her work, very research/science led and willing to explain and discuss the basis for medical advice, clinical studies etc. At my booking appointment, I mentioned my 2019 midwife's name and asked if there was any chance I could see her again for my regular midwife appointments for this pregnancy, and UCLH was able to arrange that. Which is excellent continuity of care!
So that is where I've ended up, all going well. Thanks again to everyone for their input and advice.