Hi, looking for any advice or anyone with similar experience.
I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second child. I felt very in control with my first pregnancy. I had a straightforward pregnancy and denied all offers of sweeps or inductions until she came naturally at 41+4. I had planned a homebirth with an open mind to going in, but managed fine at home. Waters went at 9pm, 3 in 10 contractions started straight away and she was here by 6am. Obviously painful and challenging but very positive.
This time, I've had a very different pregnancy. Low iron, severe pgp, low papp - a and gestational diabetes diagnosed last week (a complete shock as I have no risk factors).
So I've been having growth scans throughout because of low papp-a and growth has been steadily dropping. Yesterday baby dropped below 10th centile and they have said they suspect IUGR (although they can't be sure and could just be a small baby). Fluid, blood flow and movements absolutely fine. With this and the added complication of diabetes, consultant was very keen for me to be induced today but I insisted I wanted to wait. I've agreed to induction next week with daily monitoring until then.
I feel so lost and confused this time. I'm now worried that my baby is at risk and I should be induced sooner rather than later. Or I'm concerned that they've scared me into an induction when I should wait for my baby to be ready. I feel like I can't make an informed decision. I'm very data orientated and stastsics-led (love maths!) and assess risk in a black and white way, but I can't find enough evidence or studies to make the risks clear. I had planned a homebirth this time but kept being told it depends on the next scan. 2 weeks ago baby was on the 10th (before the gd diagnosis) so consultant and midwife were happy with homebirth. Since the drop in growth and the gd diagnosis, neither consultant nor midwife will support a homebirth. I am fine with this and not hugely opposed to going to hospital (especially if I can go into labour naturally), but the EMCS and instrumental delivery rate at my local hospital terrify me. (45% section, 15% instrumental).
Out of all of my friends who have had babies there, they've all had traumatising experiences usually ending in forceps or section (and many of them induced). Of course I know that sometimes these interventions are necessary, but when I had my homebirth my midwives said that if I'd been in hospital, they'd have used forceps by now due to' failure to progress' because of the 2 hour rule and need for beds. So I have concerns around the motivation for intervention at my trust.
On top of all this, I'm absolutely terrified of being induced with the hormone drip as everything I've heard and read says it's absolute hell. So if that happens, should I have an epidural first? After a natural labour last time, I feel like I should at least try again but I've read loads of threads on here now advising epidural before drip.
Sorry for the ramble. I feel so disappointed in my body this time and so out of control. People keep saying to me 'as long as baby gets here safe it doesn't matter' and I totally get that, but I also think my feelings deserve some validation and I can't help how I feel.
I'd love to hear from anyone who had a hospital birth after a homebirth, or if anyone has any more info on the risks of small babies combined with gd!