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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Local hospital where DP works or an hour away?

31 replies

TheBeesKnee · 10/09/2022 10:22

I have a conundrum!

Pregnant and due in May 2023.

The hospital local to me happens to be a hospital where my DP works. It is walkable in about 15 minutes.

The other hospital is an hour's drive away. I don't drive but it's London so I'd have to travel 90 mins on public transport or get an Uber.

I filled in the self-referral form for the local hospital last week, but they haven't contacted me yet.

The more I think about it, the more anxious I feel about having my antenatal appointments and giving birth with my partner's colleagues. It all feels too close and I hate the idea of them knowing if something was wrong, or being vulnerable in childbirth around them.

This was made worse yesterday in a supermarket when I overheard a receptionist from the hospital loudly talk about a patient to her friend/supermarket worker.

Would I be bonkers to go with the hospital further away?

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 10/09/2022 11:54

Does your DP work in the maternity unit?

Ducksurprise · 10/09/2022 12:00

The NHS is stretched beyond all imagination, I would go to the one my dh worked at, less likely to be just a number.

90 minutes when heavily pregnant is no fun.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 10/09/2022 12:02

Yes. You would be bonkers.

MrsFionaCharming · 10/09/2022 12:02

I think it depends where in the hospital DP works.

I work in a hospital, but maternity always feels very separate to the rest of the wards - I never refer patients to them or take referrals from them. Despite being in the same building, I don’t know any of the staff from there. So I decided I was happy to give birth there.

The only time it was a little embarrassing was when I went to triage with abdominal pain in the middle of the night and was discharged as everyone was arriving for work. I was walking past all my colleagues in my pyjama bottoms! Luckily I had taken a hoody.

wishuponastar1988 · 10/09/2022 12:03

I was at a hospital 20 minute drive away in the car and the day I went into Labour I was back and forth to the hospital. I can say the third journey there was horrific as I was in established labour - having contractions in a car is no fun. I'd go to the one close to you

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 10/09/2022 12:03

mummyh2016 · 10/09/2022 11:54

Does your DP work in the maternity unit?

No, radiography. There are sonographers who will work with him in x-ray occasionally, and he sometimes x-rays in the the NICU and other maternity-related bits. A lot of sonographers started off in x-ray then trained up.

It's not a huge hospital and it seems like everyone knows each other.

OP posts:
Daisy95 · 10/09/2022 12:04

I gave birth in the hospital I work at with all by colleagues around me. I didn't have a choice as the only hospital around really. But I'm glad I did I wouldn't have made it to a hospital 90 mins away especially on public transport. Baby was here within 25 mins!
It was absolutely fine and if anything got a few extra cup of teas and nice treats and colleagues brought some bits in for me. Also i have never had anyone say a smile thing to me about it unless I mention it to them.
The receptionist was extremely unprofessional to be talking about any patient outside of work.
You will be fine! But do what's best for you xx

DelphiniumBlue · 10/09/2022 12:09

Travelling over an hour in labour?? Don't even contemplate it! Well ,unless you want to risk the baby being born on a train. But even if it isn't, that will be so uncomfortable, you will be groaning and grunting with contractions in front of a trainload of complete strangers. It'll be much better to be in a hospital setting. Or have a homebirth?

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 10/09/2022 12:11

DelphiniumBlue

Or have a homebirth?

Absolutely not, I live in a terrace house with thin walls!

OP posts:
PolkaDotShoes · 10/09/2022 12:13

Yes you are mad.
Trust me, when labour really kicks in, you won't give two hoots that the lady guiding your baby out sometimes chats to DP at the coffee machine. You'll just be grateful you've got medical help in a timely fashion.

mummyh2016 · 10/09/2022 12:15

You're not going to be vulnerable in childbirth though with a sonographer.
What about going to the far away hospital for your scans but then change to the close hospital before you give birth?

Original poster
TheBeesKnee · 10/09/2022 12:37

mummyh2016 · 10/09/2022 12:15

You're not going to be vulnerable in childbirth though with a sonographer.
What about going to the far away hospital for your scans but then change to the close hospital before you give birth?

Ooh I didn't know chopping and changing like that was an option!

OP posts:
mummyh2016 · 10/09/2022 12:39

@TheBeesKnee well it's not ideal but people do. If anyone asks why just say you've decided the original hospital is too far.

klipwa · 10/09/2022 12:44

I gave birth in the hospital I work in. I don't work on maternity but regularly communicate with midwives / obstetricians in my work role.

It was absolutely fine.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 10/09/2022 12:51

Go local
If you or your baby are kept in for any length of time, that's 4 hours travelling for your dh/family/friends to do 2 visits a day.

20viona · 10/09/2022 12:55

I'm shocked that this is a conundrum at all to be quite honest 😂

Sarahcoggles · 10/09/2022 13:06

If of chosen a hospital 90 minutes away my first baby would have been born in the car

Sarahcoggles · 10/09/2022 13:06

I'd, not of!

magd2901 · 10/09/2022 13:10

I am giving birth in the hospital where my husband has been working in A&E. I have found very little difference from when I had my first there before he started working there. However, it is nice to know that my husband knows a bit about the hospital. I’ve not had a straightforward pregnancy and have been in hospital at least once a week for scans, CTG etc since about 24 weeks (now 35) and I haven’t been concerned at all about colleagues knowing, in fact it has felt more reassuring.
When I had my first my BIL was working there in anaesthetics and it was lovely that I was able to see him very soon after birth and my husband popped to see him during my very protracted labour. So only positive things for me about family members in same hospital.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 10/09/2022 13:13

i would be hopeful they would take extra care of you

Toddlerteaplease · 10/09/2022 13:15

I work in a hospital, but maternity always feels very separate to the rest of the wards - I never refer patients to them or take referrals from them. Despite being in the same building, I don’t know any of the staff from there. So I decided I was happy to give birth there.

Same here. It's almost as if maternity doesn't exist.

GiantTortoise · 10/09/2022 13:18

Definitely the local one. If the further one was a just bit less accessible than the other one I'd see your point. But an hour in an Uber or 90 mins on public transport would be an absolute nightmare!

Tee20x · 10/09/2022 13:29

This shouldn't even be a connundrum! Colleagues is quite a loose term here, I'm sure most of them don't even know who DH is, bar the ones who "sometimes" work with him.

I'd not be travelling 90 mins to avoid something like this.

CurbsideProphet · 11/09/2022 19:15

I'm under the care of the hospital where my DH works (he's not a medic). Apart from a wobbly start I'm getting v good care and I do think it's in part due to him working for the trust.

Violettaa · 12/09/2022 09:03

I’m amazed that in London your second closest hospital is 90 minutes away. I’m in London, and I think I could get to pretty much any maternity unit with a London postcode in that time.

There must be other options. Or if not, go to the close one. Contemplating that travel time is batshit.