First of all a confession, I'm actually posting as the husband having watching my wife give birth a week or so ago and the harrowing experience that unfolded. Hopefully husbands are welcome to post here as well! ;)
This is what happened...
My wife was booked in for an induction that started at 9am on Friday for the initial 24 hour pessary. On arrival she was told that her cervix was 1cm, but unfortunately it didn't do a great deal and she was still more or less 1cm. On Saturday morning a gel pessary was given and reviewed 6 hours later at which point she was still only 1.5cm. They were a bit late with the second gel pessary which was then given early Saturday evening with the hope she could get to 2cm to be able to break the waters comfortably. At about 2am on Sunday morning her cervix dilated to 4cm and she was starting to experience contractions (albeit fairly infrequently, perhaps averaging every 4 mins but not at regular intervals) at which point she was transferred from the antenatal ward to the delivery suite.
Her waters were broken about 3am on Sunday and she started to use gas and air which took the edge off. Eventually she moved to pethidine which didn't do a huge amount and by mid morning she was offered and accepted an epidural. They didn't want to start the oxytocin drip until an hour had passed post epidural. This took a couple of hours longer than expected as my wife is six foot and the block initially only went 2/3rd up her legs. At this point things were fine, if not quite slow but thats just the way it goes sometimes.
We did have some concerns early on as the baby's heartrate was too regular for long periods (not really moving more than a couple of bpm) and at one point there was concern that a c-section might be needed. Various midwives took a look and eventually the consultant was brought in to review the printout. It was decided to give it a further 15 mins and make a final decision then, during which point baby had a good wriggle which reassured everyone. They came to the conclusion that when sleepy he was very sleepy, but to the point that every midwife monitoring during the day had to be briefed.
The oxytocin drip was given around late morning Sunday and gradually ramped up. The dilation was initially slow, I think the first 4 hours went from 4cm and stayed that way, then about 5cm a further 4 hours after. Eventually we got to 7cm at the next review and by 7.40pm we got to the magic 10cm. For some reason they wait an hour before the literal final push. Little did we know what was going to happen next...
An hour and 20 mins later, despite pushing as much as my wife could, she was tiring after being 60 hours in hospital and basically the baby hadn't moved at all. A ventouse assistance was offered and accepted. The baby was pulled out over the following two contractions and my assumption that my wife pushes and they pull a bit and guide the baby out couldn't have been further from the truth. Wow, they pull hard!
Baby was delivered but at this point is was clear that something had gone a bit awry. There was blood all over the floor and flowing at a pace. Bear in the mind this is all happening in a small room, huge puddles of blood, various cloths used to mop it all up. I'm there thinking, wow is this normal, it looks like a lot of blood. Then I know something really wasnt right as a second consultant came to the room, then a third, both of who were in theatre about to start a c-section for someone else.
In the meantime baby starts to make gurgling noises and was clearly struggling to breath. They then take the baby to a special baby monitor thing at which point 3 doctors come over. So now there are 12 in the room (6 midwives plus 6 doctors), plus me the wife and the little one. I now see in the corner of the room the baby having a mask fitted to him and I heard them say his oxygen levels are dropping. I'm standing in the room by myself absolutely horrified at what is happening. This isnt a criticism of the staff but their priority was not to provide me with a running commentary, but amongst it all I broke down.
Baby is now wheeled over to neo-natal and the last I see of him for the time being. 20 mins later my wife is still being stitched up with them struggling to stem the blood loss. They use a vaginal pack. I honestly thought the amount of blood looked worse than it was, but over the coming days we were told it was three litres.
Baby was wheeled back to us one hour later, I think there was just some fluid in his lungs, but the ventouse really does misshape the head, the back of it was shaped like a coca cola can (writing this several days later is now back to normal).
All the above was last Sunday, today is Friday and my wife had to have a blood transfusion x 2 on Tuesday which really made the world of difference. Until then she didnt even have the energy to hold the baby, nor could she sit upright. They tried iron tablets first, but did say that a transfusion would be likely. Various injections (blood thinners, antibiotics, iron tablets, pain relief, drips etc) have been given but fundamentally she is now more or less ok. 8 days in hospital so far.
Unfortunately baby has had an infection and been treated with antibiotics since Monday. The poor boy - 2 x heel pricks for diabetes, the vit k inkection, 2 x canulas for the antibiotics and then a spinal tap to test for meningitis (I broke down then again when told of this), and 3 x further heel pricks for the 5 day test and to fill blood vials. Thankfully we have been told its an undiagnosed infection and they have ruled out the nasty stuff. However, both he and wife will be in until Tuesday - 12 days in total.
It was never meant to be this way and as harrowing it was for my wife to experience, she has said she was too out of it to take note what was happening. For me, I thought I was going to lose them both - the panic of the staff and then more and more rushing in will never leave me.
We still at the moment dont really know why there was so much blood lost, but have been advised we can have a debrief. Its been suggested that we wait until after discharge so that we can process things in our head first. I almost wonder whether its as much as perhaps they think its best we dont know whilst there is still active treatment. For clarity, there is no criticism of the care we received. By and large it has been really good. It just seems we seemed to hit a perfect storm of one issue after another, which in isolation were bad enough, but I never thought for a moment we'd still be in hospital for 12 days.
It makes me value the little one all the more and cant wait to bring him home!