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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Witnessing the birth from hell...?

48 replies

hillwalker2004 · 15/04/2022 21:42

First of all a confession, I'm actually posting as the husband having watching my wife give birth a week or so ago and the harrowing experience that unfolded. Hopefully husbands are welcome to post here as well! ;)

This is what happened...
My wife was booked in for an induction that started at 9am on Friday for the initial 24 hour pessary. On arrival she was told that her cervix was 1cm, but unfortunately it didn't do a great deal and she was still more or less 1cm. On Saturday morning a gel pessary was given and reviewed 6 hours later at which point she was still only 1.5cm. They were a bit late with the second gel pessary which was then given early Saturday evening with the hope she could get to 2cm to be able to break the waters comfortably. At about 2am on Sunday morning her cervix dilated to 4cm and she was starting to experience contractions (albeit fairly infrequently, perhaps averaging every 4 mins but not at regular intervals) at which point she was transferred from the antenatal ward to the delivery suite.

Her waters were broken about 3am on Sunday and she started to use gas and air which took the edge off. Eventually she moved to pethidine which didn't do a huge amount and by mid morning she was offered and accepted an epidural. They didn't want to start the oxytocin drip until an hour had passed post epidural. This took a couple of hours longer than expected as my wife is six foot and the block initially only went 2/3rd up her legs. At this point things were fine, if not quite slow but thats just the way it goes sometimes.

We did have some concerns early on as the baby's heartrate was too regular for long periods (not really moving more than a couple of bpm) and at one point there was concern that a c-section might be needed. Various midwives took a look and eventually the consultant was brought in to review the printout. It was decided to give it a further 15 mins and make a final decision then, during which point baby had a good wriggle which reassured everyone. They came to the conclusion that when sleepy he was very sleepy, but to the point that every midwife monitoring during the day had to be briefed.

The oxytocin drip was given around late morning Sunday and gradually ramped up. The dilation was initially slow, I think the first 4 hours went from 4cm and stayed that way, then about 5cm a further 4 hours after. Eventually we got to 7cm at the next review and by 7.40pm we got to the magic 10cm. For some reason they wait an hour before the literal final push. Little did we know what was going to happen next...

An hour and 20 mins later, despite pushing as much as my wife could, she was tiring after being 60 hours in hospital and basically the baby hadn't moved at all. A ventouse assistance was offered and accepted. The baby was pulled out over the following two contractions and my assumption that my wife pushes and they pull a bit and guide the baby out couldn't have been further from the truth. Wow, they pull hard!

Baby was delivered but at this point is was clear that something had gone a bit awry. There was blood all over the floor and flowing at a pace. Bear in the mind this is all happening in a small room, huge puddles of blood, various cloths used to mop it all up. I'm there thinking, wow is this normal, it looks like a lot of blood. Then I know something really wasnt right as a second consultant came to the room, then a third, both of who were in theatre about to start a c-section for someone else.

In the meantime baby starts to make gurgling noises and was clearly struggling to breath. They then take the baby to a special baby monitor thing at which point 3 doctors come over. So now there are 12 in the room (6 midwives plus 6 doctors), plus me the wife and the little one. I now see in the corner of the room the baby having a mask fitted to him and I heard them say his oxygen levels are dropping. I'm standing in the room by myself absolutely horrified at what is happening. This isnt a criticism of the staff but their priority was not to provide me with a running commentary, but amongst it all I broke down.

Baby is now wheeled over to neo-natal and the last I see of him for the time being. 20 mins later my wife is still being stitched up with them struggling to stem the blood loss. They use a vaginal pack. I honestly thought the amount of blood looked worse than it was, but over the coming days we were told it was three litres.

Baby was wheeled back to us one hour later, I think there was just some fluid in his lungs, but the ventouse really does misshape the head, the back of it was shaped like a coca cola can (writing this several days later is now back to normal).

All the above was last Sunday, today is Friday and my wife had to have a blood transfusion x 2 on Tuesday which really made the world of difference. Until then she didnt even have the energy to hold the baby, nor could she sit upright. They tried iron tablets first, but did say that a transfusion would be likely. Various injections (blood thinners, antibiotics, iron tablets, pain relief, drips etc) have been given but fundamentally she is now more or less ok. 8 days in hospital so far.

Unfortunately baby has had an infection and been treated with antibiotics since Monday. The poor boy - 2 x heel pricks for diabetes, the vit k inkection, 2 x canulas for the antibiotics and then a spinal tap to test for meningitis (I broke down then again when told of this), and 3 x further heel pricks for the 5 day test and to fill blood vials. Thankfully we have been told its an undiagnosed infection and they have ruled out the nasty stuff. However, both he and wife will be in until Tuesday - 12 days in total.

It was never meant to be this way and as harrowing it was for my wife to experience, she has said she was too out of it to take note what was happening. For me, I thought I was going to lose them both - the panic of the staff and then more and more rushing in will never leave me.

We still at the moment dont really know why there was so much blood lost, but have been advised we can have a debrief. Its been suggested that we wait until after discharge so that we can process things in our head first. I almost wonder whether its as much as perhaps they think its best we dont know whilst there is still active treatment. For clarity, there is no criticism of the care we received. By and large it has been really good. It just seems we seemed to hit a perfect storm of one issue after another, which in isolation were bad enough, but I never thought for a moment we'd still be in hospital for 12 days.

It makes me value the little one all the more and cant wait to bring him home!

OP posts:
DoorWasAJar · 15/04/2022 23:18

Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry for your wife and baby and your experience, it sounds extremely horrific. PTSD is horrific so I hope you find good coping strategies and keep communicating with your wife as some men shut down in these situations. I have cPTSD and tokophobia so I have nothing but respect and admiration for people brave enough to go through childbirth. Feed her lots of rare steak once she’s home to build her strength back up, iron tablets are not as bioavailable for the body.

Isonthecase · 15/04/2022 23:20

That sounds horrific, no wonder you're shaken! I had a much milder haemorrhage than that and felt out of it for months after so I would highly recommend making sure your wife is extremely on it for the multivitamins, healthy food, and shiploads of sleep. I really regret not asking for more family help as I was determined to breastfeed and it set my recovery back months - if she is keen combi feeding is fine and you can build up to full breastfeeding when ready. Secondly, have a chat with a senior midwife. In my case they were able to assure me it was really unlikely to happen again and actually in my second birth I had below average blood loss. It was a combination of a long labour and blood clotting problems first time, both of which you can watch out for to prevent. Finally, talking about the experience with a therapist really helped, even years later. The loss of control is terrifying.

It might also help to know that one of the toughest people I know fainted when his child was born as it was an extremely traumatic birth, and he has been in some pretty hairy war zones. It's a totally normal reaction when it's someone you care about!

Mariposista · 15/04/2022 23:30

OP I’m so glad people on here have been kind to you - usually here people are horrible to/about men who dare mention that they are suffering due to witnessing any part of a birth/aftermath. What you have witnessed sounds horrendous. You must both be traumatized. Please seek counseling, and come to terms with this in your own time. You sound like a really kind husband.

brownwhisker · 15/04/2022 23:41

Hey @hillwalker2004

We had a very similar experience when my wife delivered my DS. It was a planned induction, ended up in a massive blood loss and baby being wheeled away with a giant cone shaped head.

It is truly scary and unfortunately as the father you are pretty useless and just watch what is unfolding in front of you trying to reassure your partner that they are doing well and everything is going to be okay - but in these circumstances, for me, a lot of the fear was actually that I was no longer sure whether that actually was the case and if things actually were going to be okay.

7 years on its definitely an experience I haven't forgotten and it has probably defined/shaped me in some ways - but the most important being that I cherish my wife and DS more than ever.

Feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat as it sounds like we have had pretty similar experiences. 👍

justasking111 · 16/04/2022 00:03

My son went through this with his wife after 26 hours she started seizing so the room filled up and they were whisked off to theatre. My son came to see us afterwards and wept in my arms. My DILs memory is hazy . The terror does recede in time, take care of yourself and your family and debrief later.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 16/04/2022 00:13

Oh no OP what an awful thing to happen, it must have been horrendous to watch as much as to suffer. I had a similar birth but I had to give birth all alone, no partner and the nurses were too busy to stay with me.
I'm pretty sure I suffered PTSD afterwards but in those day (1980s) nobody cared.
Quite possible you might have it it too. Get help.

doublehelix · 16/04/2022 00:54

That sounds horrendous but all should be ok from here onwards - sounds like they have both come through ok. The psychological recovery will be harder.

I'm a paediatrician and have been one of those rushing in. I would usually explain what we did straight after, but if the mother was very unstable might not have managed until later. If it's any reassurance what happened with your son sounds to us (but not you of course) fairly routine. Not common for most births but once a shift or so that scenario would happen for a baby and the string of infection tests often are done due to the risk of serious sepsis as it is hard to spot who does or does not have it in neonates. Sounds like no clear evidence of meningitis or positive blood cultures were found so that's great. Quite a few babies need face mask breathing support briefly like that immediately after birth and it means nothing in the long term. Sounds like your wife's situation was the more critical, but still a known and well rehearsed scenario.

Watching both of them receiving emergency resuscitation and not knowing how they would do must have been terrifying. People are often sent into childbirth blissfully unaware of these rarer but life/death situations that happen and that compounds the shock. Modern medicine has changed the death rates from what you see in 18-19th century literature / the developing world where maternal deaths were/are scarily high. Childbirth is safer now but still very scary to witness in the more challenging scenarios some face.

I had seen loads of deliveries and thought it looked pretty bad but on the other side it was worse than even I imagined.

With time hopefully the thoughts will settle but keep talking, do a formal debrief and look into PTSD therapy if it persists. Distraction with eg audiobooks helps for ruminating thoughts when you can't process - eg driving, cooking. It will feel better eventually

QuebecBagnet · 16/04/2022 06:03

There’s a fb group called pandas dads closed group which you might find good.

Dobirdseversleep · 16/04/2022 06:26

It’s the 21st century but birth can be pretty barbaric at times. For me that was the biggest shock, that when it all goes wrong we are stuck with equipment that seems veterinary (forceps) and damage limitation.

My first birth was not dissimilar to your experience, a long drawn out labour, a drip plus epidural, then an instrumental delivery. I am fortunate that blood loss was moderate, but baby wouldn’t breathe and was intubated and taken away. I didn’t see him until 5 or so hours later, we spent 5 days in hospital in total.

It took me an awfully long time to be able to talk about his birth without sobbing. But he’s 8 now, and snuggled up next to me. For me, we didn’t have the birth debrief until 18 months or so, by which time I was already pregnant with #2 and had to address it.

Birth 2 couldn’t have been more different; calm, controlled, and in the pool. I went home the same day. And something strange happened in that room. I forgave myself for the first birth, I didn’t even know that I needed to, but I left hospital the second time having shed a huge weight in that delivery suite.

Be kind and patient with each other, you’ve been through a lot.

GodspeedJune · 16/04/2022 06:32

So very sorry for the situation you all found yourselves in. It sounds shocking and it’s no wonder you’re finding it difficult.

My cousin had a similar, shocking first birth. I won’t post the details but it was horrific. I don’t know if this will help you, but after a few years they did go on to have more children (3 infact) but by c-section each time. Her husband refused to leave the consultants room until the first c-section was signed off. He is army so not inexperienced with witnessing trauma but he wouldn’t see my cousin go through it again. All subsequent births were calm, nothing like the first.

RaspberryChouxBuns · 16/04/2022 07:09

Ah you poor chap, this was a horrible experience. I had a haemorrhage after my first birth and the birth from hell for my second and I'm doing it all again in August for the final time. After that, my husband will have a hard time catching me Grin

It might be worth getting some talking therapy once baby and your partner are home. You could even do it together because your wife will be trying to process what happened to her too.

As a man in the birthing room, unless you're qualified to be there, you are pretty much surplus to requirements. The medical team won't give you a running commentary because they are too busy with the task at hand. I know this lack of reassurance is frightening. Do debrief with the medical team when you can and do ask questions.

I know this is hard but right now you're going to have to be strong, your wife has been through a horrible birth and there will be physical and emotional complications leading on from that. Try and support her physically as much as you can, let her rest because I can guarantee she's not getting much rest in hospital.

Having said all that, congratulations to you both on your newborn. Enjoy lots of newborn cuddles x

hauntedvagina · 16/04/2022 09:36

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of this. My husband also witnessed a terrifying birth and the change in him was notable for years afterwards.

In any other circumstance when watching your nearest and dearest go through something so horrific you'd likely be treated for shock at the very least, probably referred for counselling long term. Trauma around childbirth for the women and those who witness it seems largely overlooked.

I don't know what the answer is to this, if there even is a solution. Having partners in the room during childbirth is still a very new idea, you only need to watch an episode of Call the Midwife to see how quickly the men were hoofed out. One can only assume that they were given the boot for a reason!

Know that you're not alone in this OP, look for people to talk to IRL, look for support groups and if they're not there start one. Time is a great healer and over the years the memories will fade, not disappear altogether, but they will fade. Thank you for sharing your story.

SylvanianFrenemies · 16/04/2022 09:44

Congratulations on your baby.

I had a similar delivery with my first. It was in many ways harder for my husband as he had to watch without understanding what was going on, whereas I didnt have the chance to think about anything til later.

The main thing I would say is that the memories faded, neither of us are distressed by what happened. Also that I was super tired due to the post partum haemorrhage. It is likely your wife will need supplements for months, in my experience.

SylvanianFrenemies · 16/04/2022 09:45

Oh, and my second birth was lovely, relaxed and very different. Just in case you both decide to try again!

BungleandGeorge · 16/04/2022 09:51

Human heads have evolved to be too big to birth easily. The statistics about death in childbirth prior to having a health service are absolutely shocking. I was traumatised and had flash backs to my birth and it took a long time to get over. I’d advise you seek some therapy now if the debrief isn’t enough. Don’t bottle it up

allthecrackers · 16/04/2022 09:54

It's the broken culture if UK midwifery pushing for natural births. It put your wife in danger and I suggest in a number of months you pursue legal action.

Velvian · 16/04/2022 13:29

I'm sorry, OP that does sound awful and totally unnecessary preventable for your poor wife and baby. Flowers

Isonthecase · 16/04/2022 14:32

@Dobirdseversleep that's a really good point about the weight of it coming away. I found the easier second birth made me realise it wasn't my fault, I'd just been really unlucky, which allowed me to let go of the sense of shame I didn't realise I had. Yet another argument for getting all that ironed out in therapy!

Northernlurker · 16/04/2022 15:12

Op you mention the stitches in the context of your wife's blood loss. I'm not sure if anybody has explained the mechanism of blood loss in child birth but if not, she will have lost some blood due to tearing and an episiotomy to allow the ventouse to be used but the majority of loss is usually from the uterus. The placenta comes away after delivery leaving what's basically a gaping wound with a very good blood supply. The uterus then needs to clamp down hard and contract to stop bleeding. Drugs can be given to help with this . Sometimes the uterus really struggles to contract and in a delivery that's been traumatic and prolonged that's more likely to be the case. Worst case scenario would be a need for a hysterectomy to save the woman's life. Thankfully you and your wife have been spared that but what you have seen is terrible and it's totally normal to feel shock and fear afterwards. If you'd seen her hit by a car you'd feel like that and that's basically what has happened. You will get them both home soon though and your lives together as a family will go on. Congratulations on your son Smile

hillwalker2004 · 17/04/2022 19:00

Thanks all. Some hopefully good news, the last antibiotics are due overnight.

One little titbit of information we gleaned today. I think its called a CRP test which at its height was 30. The latest blood test scored 6 a day or so ago and I believe 5 or less is considered negative. So just need to finish the antibiotics and we are ready to discharge! :)

All in all it looks like 10 and a bit days from admission to discharge; not what we expected at the outset but we are close to the finish line now.

OP posts:
Onceuponatimethen · 17/04/2022 19:14

That’s such good news @hillwalker2004 - soon you will be spending your first few days all together at home.

Keep posting here if you think it might be helpful.

My dh was an amazing support to me in the early days, even if he says he doesn’t feel he was any kind of an expert!

Sadandfedup2 · 17/04/2022 19:24

You poor thing. No advice but just sending sympathy and I hope you both get some answers. Look after each other x

Heresafe · 17/04/2022 21:55

OP I really feel for you and my DH has just been through an awful stress too when I had a cord prolapse and baby’s heart rate dived during an induction. He saw us rushed to a c section at such speed and had to wait in our original labour room . The hospital were completely amazing and saved our baby who then needed resuscitation but I honestly wonder if he has ptsd. I knew it was a major thing too but it was so fast for me and I was busy with so many amazing professionals rushing and soon under a general. I had wonderful visits from people involved the next day and was invited to talk about it all and I really thanked them and said it was dh who went through the most in a way; it is not easy and I hope you are home soon and recovering and enjoying precious time together.

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