Recovering from a c-section with a toddler too - what is it really like?

[MuffinMclay]

As a c-section is looking like a distinct posibility for me (35 weeks, pre-eclampsia, but under control for the moment), I'm trying to come up with plans for afterwards, particularly childcare arrangements (ds1 20 months).

I realise that I know nothing about c-sections, except the stuff in the pregnancy manuals and the fact that you can't drive for 6 weeks. I'm wondering what it is really like in practice. The only person I know who has had one also has a nanny and a large and local extended family to help out.

Is it feasible that I would be physically able to look after a toddler 4 weeks after a c-section, albeit unable to go anywhere because I can't drive (we live 6 miles from the nearest town)? I have sort of come up with a plan whereby dh looks after ds1 for 2 weeks, then ds1 stays with SIL on weekdays for the next 2 weeks (dh can't take any more time off and works silly hours).

MIL isn't an option as she will be at the other side of the world on holiday (and isn't keen on childcare). My parents aren't an option either.

Thank you all. Lots of useful tips there.

Will get some Arnica.

Love the trampoline idea - perfect for ds to burn off some energy.

AnnainNZ - congrats on the birth of your dc. Glad you are recovering well. Can't believe you are at 10 weeks already.

Get your shopping delivered is my advice. I had 2 c sections, 1 emergency and 1 elective although I did have just under 3 years between my babies so although ds1 was a toddler he was much older.

It is sort of like when you have a newborn and somehow you just get through it. You will have to adapt your routine slightly, but cuddles are a plenty, have your partner make lunches and snacks for the next day the night before, lots of DVD's or cbeebies, anything to keep your toddler entertained. Your toddler can probably help you somewhat by fetching you things.

I could have driven after 2 weeks with the first c section, I literally drove round the block to make sure I could, my Mum was with me just in case I couldn't drive it back and it is all to do with slamming on the brakes. I then didn't drive again for many weeks; it was comforting to know that I could should anything happen and I needed to get to the docs or hospital. C section number 2 it was 3 weeks.

My mate looked askance when I said I bled after a c section!! They only take out what you would normally deliver; so a baby and the afterbirth. A tummy tuck would have been nice and a thigh reduction. I thought it was just nice to have my ankles back and not the elephant legs I had had throughout pregnancy.

Muffin - they can't do lipo (here anyway) but they can knit your stomach muscles back together very tightly if you ask nicely - they did with mine without asking me and I had a totally flat stomach by three weeks post partum (the bruising had to go first though). However I still have a saggy arse!

Lots of pillows in bed to support your still bumpy tum can help, as can arnica and taking the painkillers before the pain arrives.

Oh and don't decide to weed the garden three weeks post partum as I did.

You will still need to do your pelvic floor exercises too.

I had a caesarian following PE in 2006. DD was fine, but my liver failed on day 5 post partum - you need to be aware that it's not just the birth you have to worry about and not check out of the hospital too soon. I was keen to go home and felt absolutely fine, up until the point things went totally weird and all the docs arrived to prod me!

Thanks for this thread, I'm just over 2 wks post "crash section" and have been wondering about the driving etc. I'm in no rush to drive but I was wondering what it was about 6wks post op that enabled you to drive.

My DD is 23 months and DS is 15 days old. DH goes back to work on Monday so probably best I reply again then! I'm still sending DD to the childminder Tues-Thurs mornings, it's been part of her routine for a year now and they go to things like Jo Jingles, toddlers and other social activities so I wont feel guilty for her watching too much TV and staying indoors on a Mon and Friday (and tues-thurs afternoons). I felt really good after the section for a week or so but now I think I have an infection or something as one side of scar is sore. Perhaps I did too much too soon but circumstances were difficult.

I think take things at your own pace and make up a box of toys your older child can play with when you're feeding the new baby/can't get outside. Maybe ask DH to prepare some sandwiches before he goes to work so you've got lunch sorted.

Get all the help you can. I really struggled after an emergency C-section and a toddler - but we all adapted. Instead of meals at the table she had a little table and chair, instead of changing her (was still in nappies) on a changing table we did it on the floor. I didn't lift her into bed as she use a step thing - the hardest bit is the not being able to lift the toddler up and trying to explain that to them when all they want is a cuddle. There was no way I could have faced driving for the first 6 weeks so was house bound with not much help from relatives. Packed her off for extra sessions at the nursery which helped some weeks. Thankfully help comes in the oddest of places - "feel free to read my gas meter but please could you move xxx over there first!" seriously don't be afraid to ask anyone to do anything that makes it easier for you.

Hi
I had ds by c-section when dd was only 13 months and not walking. I had help for the first 4 weeks or so, but only to help me with lifting her.
I managed to do everything else in terms of looking after them, just had to get someone else to lift her into highchair, into cot, buggy etc.
It was a pain in the neck to be honest, but I'm glad I did resist the urge to just get on with it by myself for as long as possible...
Hope that helps and good luck!
xx

I am in the same position as you with a 2.4yrs old and 10 weeks till baby is born by c-section.

I have been training my dd to do more things for herself so i dont have to lift her, e.g climbing into car seat, up and down stairs.

The only thing i cant get her to do is get in and out of the bath. I have a little step so she is able to do it but refuses point blank to get out the bath because she loves it so much, even when the waters gone and shes cold.

Good luck