I have had an EMCS and an ELCS under spinal. I was terrified both times, and the anaesthetist pre-op briefing for the second one had me in tears.
Personally I would recommend you go with the spinal - although I recognise it’s your choice - and make it clear to the staff how scared you are, and exactly what you’re worried about. The midwife for my ELCS was amazing - completely understood tokophobia and anxiety (and mine was extreme). She was able to rationalise everything, eg “yes, that is a risk but in the two years I’ve worked on this ward I’ve only seen it happen twice”.
There are some things they can’t guarantee - your blood pressure could drop, and it’s as well you know what to expect, but they can give you drugs/cold flannel on your forehead, etc. But there are other things they can be more mindful of, eg that you don’t want a running commentary, and you could choose music to distract yourself in most hospitals - would thinking of a playlist help at all? I found that if I had my partner by my head, with music playing, and very soon after they started, a noisy baby, I couldn’t really hear muttering about anything that was going on over the screen.
The numbing isn’t as heavy as you might expect - with my ELCS, I panicked because I could not only feel my legs, I could wiggle my toes. The midwife took time to show me it had worked as I would have felt the water spray they use to test numbness as being icy rather than warm. I can assure you I felt no pain during the op!
Whatever you choose, I really would encourage you to be as open as possible with the staff about your fears.