C/Section, some questions for those who have had one

[jofeb04]

Hiya,
I have to carry out a presentaion on c/sections, and want a few "real life" (iykwim) statements from those who have had one.

If your willing to help, can you answer the questions below:

1. Was it a planned, emergency or crash Caesarean section, and do you know fully why it was needed?

2. How did you feel when you found out that you needed one (or asked for one and hospital confirmed that you could have one) - worried, happy, etc

3. What was the Caesarean like (did you still use a birth plan, skin-to-skin quickly etc)

4. What was your care like during your stay in the hospital?

If you want to leave a message here, please do, otherwise, please email me on
jopowell1 at yahoo dot co dot uk

I am aware it may bring up difficult emotions, so please email me if needed.

Thanks

I'm sorry jofeb04, really sorry. I'll leave your thread alone and go and wrap Christmas presents.

It doesn't matter.

Showofhands,
Many women are trumatised by the birth of their child (myself included).
I was offered counselling from my Gp (on a waiting list though for about a month), and it really worked for me.
There is also a website, birth truma and I am on there, also think Lulumuma is.

Also birth crisis has phone numbers as well (I personally have never used them though).

Or, if you prefer, please email me (I am one of the MN Doulas)!

SOH,

Please get in touch with me.

ShowofHands,you dont need to have any reason for birth trauma, I was traumatised after my emcs and it was one of the reasons I begged and cried to my cons to allow me a trial of delivery but he wouldnt (if only I'd known about MN then, I could have stood my ground), it's also one of the reasons I am so terrified of having a cs this time around, and am depserate for my vbac. You're not the only one and the end result of the birth is not what makes it ok.

lojomamma, I know how you felt not being able to see your LO, I didnt see mine for 3 days after she was born
I'm sure that contributed to my PND, first I didn know that she wa s born then I couldnt even go and see her. First held her when she was two weeks old

ShowofHands,

Hi SOH
I've been in Oz visiting the family and had such sporadic access to the internet I just gave up trying to get on at all. Just been starting to dip the toe back in the water this week and gearing myself up to get onto our thread to see what everyone is up to and how everyone is. Tild is fantastic. She's just eaten a bowl of sweet corn (her new fave food) and about to chow down on bit of boob. How is your Tild?

wow, some of these stories are will share mine later

yes, i am also on the birth trauma assoc website that Jo has linked to.

She's blardy marvellous thanks Tam. Parsnip is the food/smearing item of choice chez SOH. She does a great impression of a rusty gate, weighs a whopping 24lb and crawls backwards at a rate of knots (forward crawling does not compute). I was just saying the other day 'where's that Tam got to?' You've been sorely missed. We even had a meetup at LG&T's house. Three of us are pregnant again (NOT ME!). Come back, come back...

jofeb04, will email you thank you. Better than sitting here in tears about the whole shebang. I promise not to run on about the whole thing.

1. Was it a planned, emergency or crash Caesarean section, and do you know fully why it was needed? Emergency. The baby was at risk and wouldn't have survived a natural delivery but have never really found out what was wrong.

2. How did you feel when you found out that you needed one (or asked for one and hospital confirmed that you could have one) - worried, happy, etc Worried and scared

3. What was the Caesarean like (did you still use a birth plan, skin-to-skin quickly etc) Very nerve-racking

4. What was your care like during your stay in the hospital? Appalling

SoH,. my em c.s left me so riddled with PND i ended up in hospital and had 6 years between my DCs

sorry, meant to also say, i did get through it and had much better time second time,and that spurred me on to join BTA as a volunteer and train as a doula...

SOH I am so sorry to hear you have had such an awful time and continue to suffer. I was adamant I wouldn't have any more after my first baby was born but time has helped and I have had 2 more babies since, born by VBAC.

Oh this is horrible, SOH, and lulu, I ended up with kidney failure because I couldnt deal with the attachment issues I had with DD after the birth trauma and took an overdose
Please SOH, speak to someone about this.

lulu

I've heard you talk about it on here but didn't realise you ended up in hospital with it. I know I don't have PND, PTSD maybe but I am not depressed. Have seen depression far too close firsthand to risk the downward spiral of not admitting to it/noticing it.

I think I may write a letter to the hospital and point out exactly where they went wrong in their postnatal care. I'm sure it would help me.

I find it so desperately sad that women are failed miserably in their birth experiences. I'm having the next one on the farm with Ina May.

VS, . Would offer a heartfelt hug, but am too British. I do a mean punch on the shoulder. That sounds flippant, it's not meant to be. I will deal with this. It doesn't affect my relationship with dd but if I don't sort it it may affect any future pregnancies/births. Just didn't know where to start. BTA's website, here I come...

sorry, went to cook. SOH it was in 2005. i complained to the hospital at the time and got a written apology for the terrible bf support, which really helped me to get over the whole thing. although there are a couple of midwives i'd like to have got sacked there wasn't any evidence. agree with others, get someone to talk to and let it out.

jo if you are recording these things i too went on to successfully breastfeed and am still doing it.

SOH,
I am so sorry that by answering these questions, it has brought it all up again for you.

Thanks fishie re- breastfeeding.

I understand SOH. I expected to be able to have a VBAC with my 2nd and wasn;t really that prepared for it being anotehr cs, spent a lot of my pg crying over it tbh, but I think the wonderful experiences I had with an amazing midwife helping me to breastfeed made me not think abut the birth once it had happened.

This time round I'm pretty darn desperate for a VBA2C, but they've found all sorts of bloody issues now so it's not looking too good.

I'm hoping this time being prepared and having my birth plan written out, plus my rather formidable MIL there to tell them how things are going to be done should help me this time.

Birth trauma is a very serious issue, and you don't need to be suffering from 'depression' to be severely affected by it.

Sorry so many of you have had such dreadful experiences. I think I was very lucky really.

1. Was it a planned, emergency or crash Caesarean section, and do you know fully why it was needed?
   It was an 'elective' CS because I had polyhydramnios and the baby couldn't engage. It was either that or wait (in hospital because the risk of prolapsed umbilical cord was so high) for another 5 days to see if I went into labour naturally. I chose the CS. I felt a bit annoyed that it was called 'elective' after though as it was due to medical necessity rather than being too posh to push.

2. How did you feel when you found out that you needed one (or asked for one and hospital confirmed that you could have one) - worried, happy, etc
   Scared and resigned. Disappointed that I would never know what labour was like. I still feel that I've not 'given birth' and feel odd saying that my baby was born. To me, it was less about him being born and more about him being removed.

3. What was the Caesarean like (did you still use a birth plan, skin-to-skin quickly etc). I had written my CS into my birth plan and they followed it except that because polyhydramnios can be followed by foetal abnormality they took him away to check him for what felt like ages. He was also wrapped and I was wearing a hospital gown when he was given to me so we didn't get proper skin to skin until later. The doctors and nurses chatted about a party they were going to during the op which I thought was a bit annoying.

4. What was your care like during your stay in the hospital? Medically fine but in terms of compassion, bloody awful. Couldn't wait to get out of there. I had my CS at 5.30pm and wasn't given anything to eat until 8am the next morning, having not eaten anything since midnight the night before. So I was trying to start breastfeeding and I hadn't eaten for 24 hours.
   The second night I was there I called the MW in the night because I literally couldn't get my baby who was crying out of his bassinet. She grabbed him, almost threw him at me and said 'what's wrong? broken your legs or something?'

If I could have walked out then and there I would have done. My antenatal care had been brilliant and so I was really disappointed the post natal care was so pants.

nb my feelings about not having properly given birth are my own. I make no judgement on anyone else.

VS, I am desperate to know what a vaginal birth is like and know that if I entered another pg with my heart set on it and ended up with another cs, I would be risking too much. I do very much have the attitude of 'whatever is the best thing for me and the baby' but I think it's the lack of control over things that should be your own choice that causes the real lasting impact (in my case, not speaking for anybody else). I should have had help with the bf, I shouldn't have been left in the middle of the night with no buzzer to hand, I shouldn't have had to clear up my own blood on my hands and knees like a naughty child etc. The cs was not the cause of any of this but the two remain inextricably linked and if the word caesarian was even whispered to me again in a subsequent pg, my reaction would be clouded by the events that followed the first cs.

I do so hope that your next birth is a positive one however it happens. And thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps to know that others have felt the same way.

i don;t talk about it so much no as the rawness has gone. and i went on to have DD, by VBAC and that was very healing.

SoH, i want to work at the Farm when i grow up , i want to be Ina May Gaskin.

for a lot of women, it is not just one huge catastrophe, but an accumulation of lots of little injustices and bad things that eventually build up to trauma afterwards. acknowledgement is so important.

Lulu

I asked my midwife mid contraction when it was going to get 'psychedelic'? I had an absolutely fantastic first stage, at home, in the pool, hypnobirthing etc. I'm having a doula next time. If I can find one as nice as you, jo, mars, klaw etc then I'll be happy as larry, whoever he is.

good you can be positive and have a sense of humour about it.. you will get through it, you will, i promise

It may be belied by my contributions to this thread but I am extremely positive that I can get past this, it's just knowing where to start.

Thanks

PS I miss CamillatheChicken.

she had to go, the feathers were making me sneeze !!

SOH, I totally agree with the control thing. That's why I have spent so bloody long over my birth plan, I'm only 24 weeks and it has had 4 revisions already
I'm really hoping for a VBAC, but after the latest revelations at the hospital I'm open to a cs, but it has to be done on my terms.