C section/birth choices

[Aberdeen2]

Hello, I am 20 weeks with my 2nd. I had always said I would like to request a CS as I had a traumatic birth with my first and despite counseling I just couldn’t go through it again naturally. My husband and I attended a meeting with doctor yesterday who advised against it, she didn’t ask why I was requesting one and I got teary telling her why, I felt like I had to justify it. Now I am filled with anxiety and indecision as so many people are saying there are complications/risks/ awful recovery. I just feel really alone. Does anyone have any advice on CS and recovery, I’m so afraid of everything now, I feel anxious both ways.

I'm 14 weeks and I want a c sec to. I've had lots of surgeries Plus 4 very traumatic vaginal births and I can't risk any damage down below. Like you Ive heard good and bad stories so would be nice to hear from some ladies who have had C secs.

Hi both I've had 2 EMC (cat 2 so awake although I was dropping I and out of sleep) I've been strongly advised to have an elective for next baby which I'm gutted about the recovery is a pain in the arse! Feel free to any any specific questions x

I had an elective c section for my first baby it was my choice. I was questioned a bit, but held my ground (I had a big baby) you have the right to request the birth you want. They won’t want to give a c section readily because they cost more - but you can get it.

The actual experience was great, calm straight forward, beautiful and most importantly baby got here safely. I was in hospital for 24 hours. The hardest part was the first few days, the pain was pretty great the hospital weren’t great at handing out pain killers. But once home I was able to regulate it much better.

I was driving and going for walks with the sling by week 2. It’s healed really well with no complications.

I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend a c section.

I have had 2 ELCS and 1 VB. The C-sections were very positive experiences. Calm, straightforward and smooth recoveries. I was home the next day after both of them. Recovery was honestly fine - I found it harder recovering from complications from the vaginal birth to be honest. I'd also highly recommend a c section to anyone.

Thank you all. I think I’m worried about recovery, dealing with the baby etc. my husband can take 4 weeks off but we have an energetic 3 year old so I’m worried I won’t be able to cope when DH goes to work (3 yo is in preschool so would be a walk to and from every day).
I was considering hiring someone to help, it would cost but we do have a little savings. Has anyone hired someone to help afterwards, like a doula or something? Thanks so much for all of your advice.

I’m 5wks post natal atm. I will request a section if we do it again to avoid all the drama that trying for the natural birth caused, which just ended up in an emergency section anyway. I think planned ones are generally different to emergencies, I was already full of drugs by the time my baby was born and because she’d caught an infection at some stage, we had to stay in hospital 12 days. I also got pre-eclampsia that was detected when I went in for delivery at 41wks. Whichever way you look at it, I was in for a lengthier recovery anyway and a planned section at 39wks would have had us home much sooner and probably not resulted in an infection.

I don’t want to try for a vaginal birth if we have a second, will be giving the pre-eclampsia and infection as a reason for it. Also was in hospital for longer and it meant I was in the same hospital at the terrorist attack when it took place last month. I’d like to be in and out as soon as possible!

Should have mentioned recovery. The first few days were very rough and I couldn’t do much, but was up and about (v.slowly and on a lot of medication) within 24 hours. I wasn’t taking any pain relief regularly after about 3 weeks. I did have absolutely loads in the first 2 weeks though and a lot of it was IV.

Firstly, congratulations!

I’ve had two CS. First emergency and second elective.

The first I recovered very easily. Painful for a few days of course and limiting in what you can physically do but pain was quickly under control and I was up and out within a couple of days.
The second elective CS, I was in terrible pain for 3 weeks. Unable to stand for longer than 10 mins or leave the house.

My husband also has 4 weeks off which was a lifesaver.

Just know it can go either way with recovery and you could get lucky or unlucky. With a 3 year old you can prep them so they understand you can pick them up or let them jump on you etc.

In comparison, friends who had difficult vaginal births 1st time had a positive experience the second time.

However, push for your right to have a CS if that’s what you want. Be firm. They can advise but they can’t tell you what to do.

Best of luck.

You will be fine with a elective and your husband joke for a month as long as he's v useful and will totally take the lead with your 3 year old. I have a 4 week old and a 17 month old my husband had 2 weeks and did everything with toddler lifting wise and cooking for us and cleaning but I was back at playgroups 5 days after emc and he works away so after 2 weeks I was driving and we were back at groups every day just the 3 of us

I'm sorry for your traumatic first birth

I had an emergency then planned section. I was given the option of vbac or planned for the second but totally felt it was my decision.

It's different for everybody. But I found my recovery from my planned section so much easier. I was uncomfortable for a few days but up and about (but I had to with a baby and toddler!) I visited schools for the older one when the baby was strapped to me at 7 days old.

I would push for it. It's your decision. I found there was a lot of scare mongering about sections. Of course it's a surgery. They never come without risk. But for me it was worth it. I found the trauma of the emergency section and feeling out of control far worse.

Didn't help I did nct and our tutor basically didnt believe in any intervention (she breathed out four kids) so she put the fear of god into us about sections but it saved my ds and my life.

Is there anyone else you can speak to there about your choices?

I had an EMCS last time and I’m having an elective this time. My recovery from the first was absolutely fine. I stayed on top of the painkillers and never really felt massively “in pain”, just uncomfortable and had to move slowly. I was out pushing the pram for a short walk on week 2 and would have been out sooner but DH wanted me to wait. Hoping I’m as lucky this time! My DH will also have 4 weeks off this time and that’ll be a big help with the school run etc. I’m confident that as long as I don’t have any complications this time then based on the recovery last time 4 weeks will be plenty.

There’s no guarantee with either kind of delivery which recovery will be better, so I think you need to go with your instincts, and be firm in your decision with the consultant unless they can give you a good medical reason why they are advising against it. Obviously there are people that have had bad recoveries with a c section and they should share the experience to give you a balanced view, but I do find a good proportion of people who say “remember it’s major surgery” etc, both on here and in real life, are people that have never had one. Everyone I know who had a c section with their first had an elective with their second. I know one person who had to have a section for her third and struggled, but she’d had 2 straightforward vaginal births before that and was upset at having to have the section anyway. You can’t really compare that to someone wanting an elective after a traumatic previous delivery. You do have to be sensible and allow yourself to recover though. Good luck whatever you decide

I'm similar to you, OP, in that I had a bit of a time of it with my first which eventually ended in an EMCS. I thought I was OK about it but when we conceived number 2 I started to get really angry, upset and stressed about what happened and not wanting it to happen again so clearly have some unresolved issues.

I'm quite lucky that the midwives have been quite accepting of it and I was due to have a consultant appointment anyway due to the issues last time (and probably my age now - 38).

The consultant said it was very common to feel the way I feel, advised that if we wanted any more to try for a VBAC because if you have two Caesarean births, any subsequent ones have to be but as this is our second and last she was actually very supportive and said it was probably sensible to go down the elective route.

She did ask me to think about what I would want if I were to start contractions naturally before the date of the ELCS as a lot of people don't think about it and freak out when it happens because they've had it in their heads they are having the op. I guess if that we're to happen, my body would be more ready for it this time (never got into established labour the last time) so have made peace with it but got my appointment at the start of next month to book in.

Ultimately its your decision as to what kind of birth you want and, as far as I'm aware, the rules are that you can choose and they should support it so make sure you are listened to. Good luck!

I'm 3 weeks pp now after a c section and I'm literally fine. Stopped painkillers about a week ago. Can walk etc fine. I think you'll be fine after 4 weeks.

I had my DD by c sectiin almost 3 weeks ago.

Shes my first, so don't have any experience of VB to compare to. But the recovery from the c section hasn't actually been that bad for me. I was home within 24 hours, it was painful but capable pain as long as I rested and made sure I kept up with the Paracetamol and ibrufen every 4 hours.

My DH is self employed so we could only afford for him to have one week off work. The first week he needed to do a lot, I can't BF so are FF and he would have to make up all the bottles qms grab me the baby, change Nappy etc. Towards end of week one I could do a few myself, by week two when he went to work I could pick up, change and feed DD myself as well as feeding myself.

Week three in Friday so far this week, I've been able to start going out for little walks about 30 mins long and have not needed any pain killers for two days now. I've also been able to start doing a few light house work chores when DD is asleep.

Was basically told for 6 weeks not to carry anything heavier then DD, not to bath but shower and dab wound dry. To try and walk a little bit every day but don't overdo it - that can be around the house doing little bits.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences, they are all so helpful and some really great positivity here too which is really helping. I wondered how they manage blood loss in c section, as one of my concerns is that I’m already on iron for low HB levels and further loss could cause a hemmorage. I am hoping they will monitor blood levels closer to the time?

It's your choice. The doctor should be ashamed of herself.

Just insist on what you want and if you're likely to get emotional again (which makes it harder to speak up in the moment) ensure your husband will strongly advocate for you.

You have the right to a c section if that's what you want, stand your ground if it is important to you. I'm sorry you've been made to feel like this.

I think that if you've given birth vaginally once, the second birth does tend to be much easier (that's definitely the pattern I've observed with all my friends too). But there are no guarantees of course and it shouldn't stop you choosing a c section if you want one.

I chose a CS for my first birth. I had no medical need but my baby followed 3 miscarriages so I didn't trust my body to do what it should do. I explained my reasons to the consultant who said he couldn't do it based on that because there was no medical need, and then went onto say that I needed to say I was too stressed and anxious to give birth naturally. I thought that was blindingly obvious but I basically had to spell it out and say the right words. He agreed no question after I stated anxiety. I had it 4 months ago and I will be requesting the same again next time. Recovery was a lot easier than I thought. My husband had two weeks off, and then we had various family here most of the time afterwards for another couple of weeks but I didn't need any assistance from them at that point. I went for an hour long walk on day 8 with the pram and it was fine. Just listen to your body, keep on top of meds, and don't push yourself.

Happy to answer any questions you have, and congratulations!

It's absolutely your choice

I've had 2, an emcs after failed induction at 42+6
I did haemorrhage and it was managed well (I was a bit out of it but DH said they were amazingly calm and professional)

Second was an elcs at 39+5 and went like clockwork

Happy to answer any specific questions

I had an emergency c section.

Everyone's different but my recovery was fine.
Definitely helped having my DP at home for 4 weeks though. If he hadn't been I would have really struggled in the first 3. If your DP is about for 4 weeks and he isn't an inconsiderate bastard then you should be fine. I also didn't take many painkillers at all, so it might have been easier if I did regularly take them.

Hot water bottle on the stomach muscles helped a lot. Helped me move if I had been sat still for a while.

I had ELCS with my first and the recovery was totally fine. Keep on top of painkillers for first week. After 2 weeks I was totally back to normal.
You can have a ELCS as a maternal request- it’s in the NICE guidelines

@Aberdeen2 I believe you are less likely to have heavy blood loss / haemorrhage if elective it's linked to your body not going through the trauma of labour for x hours first and being under stress I had 2 emc and lost 900 & 1000 ml so just under cut off for transfusion. I was very anaemic before and after both births extremely low b12 last time too needed a fast track course of 6 injections x

I haven’t read every thread so apologies. However you sound so frightened so I wanted to offer some support.

I’ve had 5 sections, 3 emergencies and 2 planned.I can honestly say my recovery has always been fine. My friends with vaginal births took longer (however they had severe tearing). Fine after the emergencies and the planned sections. I had 4 under 5 and could absolutely get on with everything after a week.

If you are traumatised by your first birth really push for a planned section. They cannot refuse you. Get what you need!

Good luck and congratulations xx

I had an elective for my last delivery following bad tearing on the vaginal births.
No one questioned my choice at all. Perhaps because it made sense that I don’t really have any stretchy tissue left down there and also because I knew it was my last pregnancy.

The experience is quite surreal. It was super chilled rather & very strange for me to be aware of what was happening given I’ve never been before. It all seemed very quick too. I was in quite a bit of pain afterwards because my incision needed to be a bit wider but for me that pain was better being in my abdomen than my vagina.
Every day I felt a bit better and was quite normal by the two week mark.
I’m nearly 6 months down the line now & the scar is a bit tender & im definitely aware of having had a surgery but I’m more aware of the pain I still have down below may years later.

The only negative are that I don’t know if I’d want to keep having caesareans. Maybe two but no more. I don’t like the idea of being pregnant with the scar. Not for many years anyway. The other thing is that I definitely don’t feel like I gave birth. I know others will disagree but it’s not at all the same in my mind. I can see how it could hinder bonding. Lastly it took 5 days for my milk to start coming in which was a problem I hadn’t had before.

Best of luck with your pregnancy

I was in the same position as you - I had to really insist on the c section - best decision I ever made.

Look up the NICE guidelines that show you have a right to choose your delivery once they have told you about the risks of c section AND the risks of natural births - they always seem to skip that bit!